Tech-UVa smack zone
Tuesday’s Top Dog slate is here.
Thursday’s slate is here.
Friday’s slate is here.
Saturday’s slate is here.
Sunday’s slate is here.
No briefing today — holiday sked has us taping the gambling show early this morning, then gotta head to Blacksburg. So feel free to use this commenting space for all your rivalry desires: Best jokes (please keep ‘em clean), predictions, keys to the game, etc.
November 23, 2010 - 8:06 AM
Right now, the Tech UVA rivalry is like the one between a hammer and a nail–a lot of contact, but one side is clearly in charge
One of the ‘keys’ to the game is the STUPID key shaking on third downs… especially BIG third down plays.
I’m pretty positive that all opposing quarterbacks would MUCH rather have a few rednecks shaking keys on critical third down plays than screaming their lungs out making it deafening on the field.
Moral of this story, yelling is much more effective than shaking your keys!!
Keys to the game: one you hit on with the column would be penalties. If VT and UVA get around their average number of penalties, VT has a healthy advantage there that could easily add up to some points. Out of VT’s 11 games this season, there has only been one time they had more penalties than their opponents, and that happened against UNC when they had 1 more penalty than the Tar Heels. VT plays disciplined and avoids those penalties and it helps them big time.
The other big one will be turnovers. VT defense has done an outstanding job of forcing turnovers and the offense has done a good job of limiting them. That advantage has helped them greatly in games that otherwise would have turned out closer. Looking at our 2 losses, Boise & JMU, we did not force a single interception in either, and only generated 2 turnovers…both fumbles against Boise. Meanwhile, we had 1 fumble against Boise, and then 2 fumbles and an interception against JMU. The JMU game is actually our only game where we have a negative turnover differential, which contributed mightily to the loss. The last 2 games combined, VT is +11 on turnovers. Combined for the season, VT is +17 for turnovers, the bulk being interceptions. There were 3 games where VT did not force an interception: Boise, JMU, and Wake Forest, and only 1 other game where multiple interceptions did not happen (Central Michigan).
Yardage is another point of concern, as VT has been out-gained several times this season. It’s happened against Boise, NC State, Central Michigan, Georgia Tech, and Miami. Big Play TD’s have also happened against Boise, JMU, Wake Forest, and Georgia Tech. Boise outgained us and got a big play, and won a close game. JMU got turnovers and a big play TD, and won a close game they otherwise wouldn’t have. In the other games where we were outgained we generally had a turnover advantage to compensate. In the games where we were outgained in yardage, VT is +8 on turnovers. In games with big play TD’s for the opposition, VT is -1 on turnovers. Why do I think that is? Our aggressive and opportunistic secondary. The same mentality that leads to so many interceptions often can also lead to big play touchdowns for our opponents. When we’ve failed to secure those turnovers, we’ve given up the big play scores instead, and in those games we lost 2 (Boise, JMU), had a close game against GT (Wilson’s kickoff return TD was the difference), and the Wake Forest game was such a mismatch it didn’t matter in the end that we gave up a big play and didn’t force a turnover because we just thoroughly trounced the Deacons.
So, looking at those four things: penalties, turnovers, yardage, and big plays…when VT comes out ahead in 3 or more of those categories, they win. When they don’t have the advantage in 2 or more of them, they either lose (Boise, JMU) or have close games (GT). And looking at UVA, VT should do pretty well in all of those areas.
I’m with Mark, that key shaking is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen at a sporting event, although it does amuse the crap out of me when the overzealous fan shakes so hard that something breaks and keys fly everywhere, or they let go and they go sailing.
And to think, some people think the Hokey Pokey is dumb and juvenile.
As to the game, if Tech plays like it has, let’s UVA score and get ahead 7-0, I expect it to go pretty much as expected. I think the 24 pt line is a bit of a gap, I’m expecting something in the 31-13 kind of range. Tech gets a reasonably comfortable lead and backs off with backups to avoid injuries to starters. If nothing else, that will keep the game a little closer than a 24 pt spread.
I haven’t heard any good VT-UVa jokes in years. All the ones I know are old. Maybe it has to do with the recent dominance by the Hokies. The best jokes though always came during the week of the VT-WVU games. some of those were great. I don’t miss the series though as no one wants to go to Morgantown and be pelted with batteries and ice. It’s always a few of them who make the other 98% look bad.
What’s 40 feet long and has 22 teeth? The cotton candy line at the WV State Fair.
I think O.J. just about covered everything as far as what’s needed by the Hokies to secure the win. Odd thing though, during the recent winning streak of the Hokies over the Hoo’s, the games in B’burg have been closer that the games in C’ville. May be a hard fought game Saturday. This could be considered UVa’s bowl game. The Hokies better be ready.
Rick makes a good point about the spread. I have to agree that if the Hokies get a lead, they might back off a bit and rest some guys. Would love to see them let Logan Thomas play and do something besides hand off and though dinky passes. His one pass last week looked sharp.
I’m not crazy about the key shaking either and refuse to do the wave. But the old traditionalist in me loves the Hokie Pokie at the end of the 3rd qtr. I don’t dance but I love the dancing sousaphone players. I also like the fact they often invite the sousaphone players from the opposition to join in.
What’s wrong with the key shaking? It’s a tradition, just like the hokie pokey!
Plus, if you’ve ever been in Lane Stadium, you know that the fans aren’t just shaking their keys on 3rd down and letting that be the only noise that they make. Most all of those fans shaking their keys are also screaming at the top of their lungs! I think, and I’m sure that many opposing teams would agree, that us Hokies do a pretty good job of making noise on game day
argh you out of place smiley faces! supposed to be after “game day”
I saw a couple of funny self-slamming comments on UVA’s message board yesterday.
One UVA fan made a comment something to the tune of, “…I say we throw caution to the wind and really get after the Hokies on Saturday…”
And then another, more self aware UVA fan responded by saying, “… do you think Verica has enough arm to be able to do that?”
Whats the point dude? We could pull a JMU and lay an egg. Its possible. But its also noit like we’re playing an important game. They’re all over. Give the seniors their stage, get them off and play the 2nd and 3rd team. Then we whomp whoever is in the final and go to the Orange Bowl.
Anyway you slice it we have a failed season with the talent on this team. I never thought I would say that about the Orange Bowl but this team is our best ever including the 1999-2000 team. That team really rode on Vick although a bunch of guys went to the NFL. Don’t know if any are still there aother than Shayne.
This team has it all and coulda woulda shoulda been contending for the BCS game instead of Boise-TCU.
To Mark about the key shaking. People are yelling while they are doing this and its still loud. You probably never been to a game before and I am sure you are a UVA fan. Those fans show no support for their team if they win or lose. The support VT gets from their fans factor in their motivation to win, listen to what they say about their fans. UVA players never say this about their fans.
This year’s team is a great team… but we don’t have NEARLY the defense of the 99-00 team. We’ve definitely got the athletes on defense, but they didn’t have the experience together coming into the season like the 99 team.
There’s no way that this is a failed season though. A failed season would have been to actually believe your logic that a BCS title game is all that matters, and to have given up after the JMU game. That would have been a failed season.
And we haven’t made the Orange Bowl yet. A lot can still happen between now and then!
I have to disagree with Gary as well. No way this could be considered a failed season. Coming back from 0 – 2 (especially with the great expectations) took a lot of focus and commitment. A lot of teams would have packed it in and given up from disappointment. Remember back to that 99-00 season. Syracuse came into Lane as the #16 team in the country and many predicted they would beat the Hokies. They left losing 62-0 and ended up losing something like 5 in a row. They couldn’t overcome that loss. I don’t know if VT will ever have a defense like that 99-00 team. Go on youtube and watch some Corey Moore highlights. He was fun to watch.
I’m with you Hokie24, haven’t made the Orange Bowl yet.
Definitely not a failed season. Most experts pegged VT for a 9-10 win season, likely Coastal Division winners, possible ACC winners. THat’s right where we’re at now, albeit not exactly how anyone thought we’d get here.
To Vinton Hokie… oh, you mean like when Vick flipped off his own fans?
I’ve been coming to (all but 8) VT home games since 1987, my friend. We had seats that were 8 rows back on the 45 on the West side for nearly 15 years, then (due to financial constraints) had to relocate to the 25 on the west side about 28 rows up. So I’m fairly confident that I have seen lots of people yelling at the top of their lungs and I’m also confident that I’ve seen lots of people in the last decade shake their keys furiously without yelling at all more than you have.
Plus, Holmes, I never said I wasn’t a redneck either.
that should have read (all but 8 ) VT home games…. that mischeivous little smiley!!
Besides, let’s just say VT doesn’t drop that awful game to JMU the following week…where would they be ranked right now? SOmewhere in the 5-10 range among 6 other 1-loss teams. We still wouldn’t be sniffing the BCS Championship. And if we beat Boise? Then were 1 of 4 undefeated teams vying for 2 slots…and at this point we would be ranked 3rd, possibly 4th…still needing help to get there.
Hmmm possibly OJ, however I dont remember where Oregon and Auburn were at to begin the year either. Plus, with Boise winning out, it may have made up for the weakness of the ACC schools we are faced with playing. I think we would be a top 4 team if we had won everything up till now and we would jump TCU regardless since we would play 2 more games. So we would pretty much have been waiting for Auburn to stumble (which isnt out of the realm of possibility yet).
I know people are sick of hearing it and hindsight and all that, but personnel-wise, schedule-wise, etc…. this truly was ‘the year’.
VT fans are great? Please! VT fans are atleast 40% bandwagon fans. After the loss to JMU I heard the fans saying Stiney needed to be fired along with newsome and that Beamer’s time was past. When VT loses the fans fall off until the next victory so don’t tell me VT fans are superior to UVA.
Mark, I went back and checked the pre-season polling, and here’s what I found. VT was ranked 10 in the AP, 6 in the ESPN/USA Today poll. Oregon was ranked 11 both polls. Auburn was ranked 22 in the AP, 23 in the ESPN poll. So, perhaps given the way the pollsters work, we might be #1 or #2 since they usually won’t jump a team unless there’s a good reason for it. And assuming we had won the first 2 games…even close games, and won the remainder of our games like we have done, we might have been jumped by virtue of playing fewer ranked opponents, but then again maybe not. It’s hard to say after looking at it.
I’ll say this much, given how well the team has played since the 0-2 start, this will be a year where we met our pre-season expectations, but still feel that pit of dissapointment of wondering what could have been had one or two small plays in those first 2 games turned out differently.
UJVA guy just graduated and sees sign that says Cruise $90. Pretty good, he thinks so he goes in and pays his money. Clerk takes money and hits him over head with a bat and sends him down the river on a log. Grad comes to climbs out of bag rubbing his head and sees another UVA grad on a log rubbing his head. “Hey, do they serve dinner on this cruise?” he yells. “Didn`t last year” other grad yells back.
Do you know why the UVA football team should change its name to the “Possums”?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Why is it that the UVA football team doesn’t have a web site?
They can’t string three “Ws” together.
What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a Wahoo?
Six more weeks of bad football.
Did you hear the Rolling Stones are playing at UVA’s Scott stadium?
Yeah, They’re 10-point favorites.
O.J., you’re killing me.
I have to add to something Todd (evidently a Hoo) brought up and I thank him. I was supporting Coaches Stinespring and Newsome early in the year and others were bashing them and some even wanted Coach Beamer out. Now that the Hokies have won 9 in a row and are averaging around 35 points a game, it should only seem fair that those same bashers give Coaches Beamer, Stinespring and Newsome some credit for the improved play. If you were giving them all the blame, you should give them the credit.
I’ve got no problem giving the credit for the season’s turnaround to our coaches. But I still blame coaches, Stiney and Newsome in particular, for not having the players ready in our first two games. We all knew that the defense would be young and would be on a learning curve. There was no reason for our offense not to come out of the gates smokin’!
As a latent “Hoo” fan, I think there are certain keys that would make it possible for UVa to win on Saturday. Chief among them would be if Taylor,
Williams, Wilson, Coale, and Hosley were to all suffer broken legs or
develop debilitating illnesses which would prevent them from playing.
Otherwise, no chance.
What’s the first thing a UVA girl does when she gets up in the morning…
She goes home.
Nice ones, Ralph and O.J. Give me all you got. Would like to see some UVa fans get in the act, too.
See, to me, the rivalry these days is in the stands — and only in the stands. I just attended the Tech press conference, and it really does seem like the players view this as just another game. I’m going to try to have some fun with my Saturday column but need help from you guys.
Lane Stadium has been well documented as one of the toughest college football atmospheres for visiting teams. This can be fully accredited to the passionate and football-savvy fanbase. The “key-shaking” is a great way to add artificial noise when other artificial noise makers are banned… seems like smart way to get a competitive advantage. And you’ve still got the lovely pun to boot!
http://www.rivals.com/content.asp?SID=1014&CID=444097
http://www.americasbestonline.net/index.php/pages/toughestcollegefootballstadium.html
http://armchairgm.wikia.com/The_Top_10_Toughest_Places_to_Play_in_College_Football
BTW, All fan bases are (at least) 40% fair weather fans. I have no doubt that Hokie fans would be equally dissenfranchised if their past 10 seasons had gone the way of the Wahoo.
How do you get the UVA fan off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
I’ve got another one…
What does the average UVA student get on their SAT?
Drool.
How do you make Wahoo cookies?
Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Its almost a certainty VT will win this game and I am just hoping it isn’t too one sided. I think UVA’s Mike London has done well with the team this year given they are all of Groh’s old players and were coming off a terrible previous season. Hopefully, UVA can figure out how to play 4 quarters of football and work on the defense a little in the offseason. Given another year or two, I think UVA could have another team like back in the ’03 season.
On a side note, I was raised in Roanoke and got to witness VT’s “Hokie Nation”. While I know the actions of a few don’t speak for everyone, I will never respect VT for the non-sense they allowed to go on with Marcus Vick. That guy repeatedly disgraced your school on and off the field, yet no one at VT had common sense to stop it early on. I can only imagine what they covered up for big brother Mikey.
In the same vein as #33…
What’s the difference between a Wahoo and Rice Crispies?
Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
Not sure VT knows what to do in a bowl game either. 8 out of 22 over the course of 63 years isn’t exactly impressive.
2009 Chick-fil-A Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 37 vs Tennessee 14
2009 Orange Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 20 vs KANSAS 7
2008 Orange Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 21 vs KANSAS 24
2006 Chick-fil-A Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 24 vs GEORGIA 31
2006 Gator Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 35 vs LOUISVILLE 24
2005 Sugar Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 13 vs AUBURN 16
2003 Insite Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 49, California 52
2002 San Francisco Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 20, AIR FORCE 13
2002 Gator Bowl FLORIDA STATE 30, VIRGINIA TECH 17
2001 Gator Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 41, CLEMSON 20
2000 Sugar Bowl (National Championship Game) FLORIDA STATE 46, VIRGINIA TECH 29
1998 Music City Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 38, ALABAMA 7
1998 Gator Bowl NORTH CAROLINA 42, VIRGINIA TECH 3
1996 Orange Bowl NEBRASKA 41, VIRGINIA TECH 21
1995 Sugar Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 28, TEXAS 10
1994 Gator Bowl TENNESSEE 45, VIRGINIA TECH 23
1993 Independence Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 45, INDIANA 20
1986 Peach Bowl VIRGINIA TECH 25, N.C. STATE 24
1984 Independence Bowl AIR FORCE 23, VIRGINIA TECH 7
1981 Peach Bowl MIAMI 20, VIRGINIA TECH 10
1968 Liberty Bowl MISSISSIPPI 34, VIRGINIA TECH 17
1947 Sun Bowl CINCINNATI 18, VIRGINIA TECH 6
Gee Hoo 4 UVa likes to type.
Wouldn’t want you to retype all of that, but the 2009 Orange Bowl victory was against Cincinnati.
You know, it is better to have played and lost than to sit home with the Wahoos all those years.
Sorry for the mistake and I did not type all of that. Its called Copy / Paste. I saw a 3 credit class in the VT registrar for it.
Here’s a joke…. calling this game a rivalry.
This game hasn’t been a rivalry in years. It’s more of an embarassment for Yahoo fans.
Thanks for opening that door Hoo 4 UVA…how’s these for some other stats:
UVA football has been around since 1888, versus 1892 for VT. UVA has just 3 conference titles in that time, while VT has 7. 6 of those 7 conference championships have happened from 1995 to now, while for UVA, just 1.
UVA has been to 16 bowls and is 7-9, while VT has been to 23 and is 9-14.
UVA’s total record in their history is 601-521-48, for a .534 winning %, while VT is 668-428-46, for a .605 winning %.
But perhaps the most important stat of them all, in the history of the UVA-VT rivalry going back to the first game in 1895, VT owns UVA 49-37-5.
Hoo 4 UVA… you won’t find too many Hokies that don’t agree that Marcus should have been removed from the football team much faster than he was. Beamer had to kick him off the team twice before it stuck. But to say that no one at VT tried to stop it early on just isn’t paying attention to what actually happened. But yeah, Marcus wasn’t mature enough to handle the pressure of being the second Vick and knowing that he already had big brother’s millions to take care of him. But isn’t it awfully contradictory of yourself to say, “…While I know the actions of a few don’t speak for everyone, I will never respect VT for the non-sense they allowed to go on with Marcus Vick….?”
As for Michael though, from my own experience, and from having friends that were on the team at VT with him, he seemed to be a much different guy than Marcus was while a student at VT. I’ve met a lot of VT’s football players throughout the years, and I was a student at VT while Michael Vick was there, and I would say that Michael was far and away one of the top 3 or 4 nicest and most polite players that I’ve been able to meet and talk to in person (the other ones off the top of my head being John Graves, Chris Ellis, and David Wilson). I’d actually say that Michael had his head on fairly straight while he was at VT, because he knew that he had something to play for coming from a low-income background. But once he had the dollar signs in his eyes, he was very quick to change his ways until he got in trouble with the dog fighting stuff. There’s a very good article on ESPN today about Michael Vick that I think is written from a very level-headed point of view.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=5824801
But whatever you want to believe about VT… good luck to your team and here’s to having an injury-free game on Saturday!
So silly John! If you review my earlier comments, then you will see no where did I say UVA has a chance in this game. VT has a better football program…that is a given. I simply pointed out that the rice krispy joke could hold true for VT. VT fans love their football but hate knowing they really are nothing compared to an average SEC program.
Now if we want to compare overall NCAA sports programs, you have something else coming. Unfortunately, I know that at VT, football is the only sport that matters. I won’t bother to get into that debate.
What really matters, at the end of the day, is the education people receive at either school. Shall I publish the average SATs and GPAs for entering students at both institutions?
Love this time of year! Culture vs. Agriculture 2010!
I don’t know about that. I think UVA’s John-Kevin Dolce hit on Jacory Harris is the only reason VT beat Miami last week.
time for another joke!!
Virginia Tech is playing at UVA, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. A UVA fan sets off a firecracker, and Virginia Tech, thinking it’s the end of the half, runs off the field.
Three plays later, UVA punts.
Here’s a joke….If you are at Lane Stadium look around and thank god your parent’s raised you outside of the hole. Lane Stadium looks like a barn without the roof…I guess it goes hand in hand with the constant smell of cow manure.
What does a UVA grad say at McDonalds? Do you want fries with that?
Lol! I like that Ralph. At least a UVA grad can get a job somewhere and isn’t on 99 weeks of unemployment!
At any school, football is the only one that really matters anyway. Ok, well, at some schools like Duke or Uconn, basketball is huge too and bigger than football. But let’s not kid ourselves. Who REALLY cares about lacrosse or soccer championships? Aside from the players and the few dozen fans who populate the bleachers, not many. They’re nice things to toss out to distract from the mediocrity of the football program, but in the end they’re largely irrelevant…kinda like the football program.
But that said, I think things are looking up there in Charlottesville. Mike London seems like a good guy who can turn the program around. I mean, ya’ll have nowhere to go but up, right?
Shoot, you kidding? If Jacory Harris was at QB last week Hosely would have picked off three passes, not just one! He’s responsible for more turnovers than a bakery.
But I’ve got to get back to work…though this has been fun. Got to make sure I keep generating tax money to support all those UVA grads on welfare!
how about another rivalry week joke?
Why won’t they let VCU have a football team?
Because then UVA would want one too.
How about this one O.J.?
As an inaugurial member of the ACC, joining in 1953, UVA has won two ACC Championships in ’89 abd ’95 (though in ’95 they shared this title with FSU and FSU was awarded the ACC Champion Bowl bid). I’ll count it as a championship just to be nice.
Since joining the ACC is 2004, Va Tech has won three ACC Champioinships (’04, ’07, ’08) and have a chance to double up our friends from Charlottesville in about a week and a half.
So to recap, in 56 years of ACC football UVA has two titles and in five years of ACC football VT has three.
This isn’t even close to being a rivalry anymore, it’s more like the Globetrotters v. the Generals.
There goes Hoo 4 UVA getting off subject. Your comments and opinions are probably a better fit on “The Sabre” where all you homers can stroke your Mike London figurines and gaze longingly at your framed photos of Monticello and the famous Mr. Jefferson who tagged just about everything in sight. This thread was to talk about football, Tech vs. UVA. While your list of national titles in non-revenue sports is long and impressive it is safe to say that the revenue VT takes in from the game this Saturday would be enough to fund non-revenue sports for both Tech and UVA for the next 5 years. And no, it didn’t take a UVA econ degree to figure that out. To the lacrosse fields with you!
VT a great team? Who have they beat that’s any good? VT’s coaches turned the season around? This shows how moronic & uneducated the hokie nation is, the coaches had nothing to do with the turnaround. Its called the ACC schedule. Ever since VT got into the ACC they have won 10 games a year. The question remains. WHO HAVE THEY BEAT?
Don’t get too bent out of shape about the jokes, Wahoos! You do see at the top of the page how Aaron asked for us to post jokes, right?
Hey Todd, that beats going to Scott stadium and looking around wondering where the frick everyone is at and if it was maybe poodle pampering day in downtown C’ville…
Todd, you can’t be comparing Lane Stadium to Scott Stadium. No comparison. The only thing better at Scott Stadium is the availability of empty seats.
Hoo 4 UVA,
The only reason UVA beat Miami is because J12 got knocked out of the game. His presence didn’t matter much last year either as he really isn’t as good as all the hype is. His TD:INT ratio is on par with Verica’s (slightly better, 2 less ints) and I don’t see any UVA fan drawing comparisons of Verica to Schaub. Miami’s athletic ability make them tough every year, but their QB play was shotty at best.
one more joke… and it’s amazing how often this stereotype is proven to be more fact than fiction…
How many UVA students does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one… he holds it in place and the world simply revolves around him.
Well Robert….for one, they’ve beat the Hoo’s every year. Sorry some of the other teams in the ACC don’t measureup, but that’s the conference we’re in so we have to play them.
I have to throw this one in…VT has beat the teams UVA couldn’t!
Doh!
Back to the topic of football traditions, how about the horrible song that’s sung after touchdowns at Scott Stadium?
In my humble opinion, that’s the gayest tradition in college sports. And by gay, I mean happy. All the Wahoos seem so happy when they’re tenderly embraced in the arms of their brethren, swaying back and forth in unison, singing how everything’s gay and bright….
Really though, I hope for a good competitive game this weekend. I want to see UVA competitive in the ACC. I thinks it’s good for the state and good for the conference. I completely respect what UVA’s doing under London and I think it’ll pay off sooner rather than later. Good job knocking off Miami!
VT has a black population of 4‰, but VT’s football team & mens basketball teams are 85‰ black. All the blacks at VT are athletes!
now Robert… i won’t even bother with how ridiculous your statement is from a common decency point of view… but let’s look at how ridiculous your statement is from a logistical view…
VT currently has over 30,000 full time students (according to vt.edu)
4% of 30,000 students is 1,200 students.
1,200 students is 85% of about 1,412 students.
so using your logic, VT has 1,412 athletes on our football and basketball teams? wow, that’s a pretty large team!
Hey Hoo 4 UVA, one word for you, DUKE. Enough said.
Todd, who called Lane Stadium a barn with no roof, did not make a very funny joke, in fact, it was typical hoo talk, when you cannot compete. you resort to changing the subject. By the way, Todd, I will help you by changing the subject, what is the outlook for the hoo rowing team ????? I guess it will be ” all wet ” !!!!!!!!!!!!
Robert, what a …………. hoo !!!
Question: How many National Championship trophies does VT have in its trophy case?
Answer: 0
Game over, thanks for playing.
GO HOOS!
well….just one more….
Did you hear about the fire in VT’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.
Go HOOS!
Hey ………………..
How bout them Cowboys ?
Aaron, most Hoo fans read the Hokietimes only sporadically. I am sure that you have noticed less comments from Hoo fans the last few years.For my UVA news I prefer The Daily Progress or Richmond TD. No hard feelings,just the way it is.
RayRay, How many athletic facilities were the Hoo’s able to build due to all the profits from those Nat’l Champ. teams? College athletics is all about the bucks. Non-revenue sports, while enjoyable, are a drag on the atletic budget.
Question to UVA fan: How many National Championship trophies does UVA have in its trophy case?
UVA fan #1: What’s a National Championship??
UVA fan #2: What’s a trophy??
Bystander: A trophy stupid!! That thing you pansy soccer players got while finishing last in your peewee league so you wouldnt feel left out at the end of the season.
Its okay hokie24, math never was a Hoos strong point. Hence the need to dumb down their classes up there in order to produce higher GPAs…
Alright, if we are going to stick to football smack, yeah you got us Tech. But if we are going to throw education out there, lets be honest there is no comparison. Not saying there are not smart people at tech or dumb people at UVA. But overall we all know who the superior school is, as does the rest of the nation. they publish it every year. thanks
Pssst… Southern Hoo… when you dumb down your curriculum* at Charlottesville, you in turn SHOULD get higher GPA scores.
BTW, I know its a biggie, but ‘curriculum’ means the set of courses and their content offered at an educational institution, in case you didn’t know.
mark
like i said stick to football smack, i am not going to argue the curriculum with you, because there isn’s an argument. We all know the facts about a students education before they can even get into UVA, so maybe the high schools dumb the education down for students also. If you get sick go to Tech’s medical center if UVA’s is too dumbed down for you. That is always an option
Football smack?? Is UVA playing this week?
Mark, we won’t know until Saturday……but I doubt they are.
Ya know, even though I hated the series and don’t want to play them anymore, I still miss the banter and jokes with the WVU fans. They were more fun than the Hoo’s. The Hoo’s take everything a little too personally. Most of the best West Va. jokes I ever heard came from West Va. people.
That’s because folks from West Virginia are secure enough to make fun of themselves, unlike UVA fans.
I really thought all those cheese and wine jokes about UVA were just that, jokes. Then I spent some time in C’ville, and found that it’s pretty much true. Yet UVA fans seem to take offense at that, and I’ve never understood why. Just own it, everyone else knows it anyway!
Im late but here go some chokie jokes….
Why don’t they teach sex-ed and driver’s-ed on the same day at VT?
It confuses their mule…
What do U-Va and VT students have in common?
They both got into Virginia Tech…
What does a VT alum call a UVA graduate?
Boss
Why do’t they have nativity scenes in Blacksburg?
Because they can’t find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Q. How do you circumcise a Hokie?
A. Kick his sister in the chin.
What happens when a busload of cHokie fans drives into North
Carolina?
The average IQ of both states goes up.
What’s the one thing at VT that’s emptier than their library?
Their trophy case
Why is VT called a “cow college”?
The co-eds.
What do you call a VT girl that can’t outrun her brothers?
Pregnant
Did you hear about the VT toilet paper sold at the Tech Bookstore?
On every sheet is printed directions…
Why don’t VT grads like pickles?
They can’t get their head in the jar.
Why do Hokies have a hard time with school?
The black highlighters
How do you confuse a Va. Tech Hokie?
A: Give a him/her a pack of M&M’s tell ‘em to alphabetize them
Q: What’s a Hokie’s idea (imagine that) of a seven-course meal?
A: A six-pack of Bud and a can of Skoal.
A Virginia Tech football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback
riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
Q: How do you keep Hokies out of your backyard?
A: Put up goal posts (or a JMU flag).
Q: How many Hokies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but they get four credits for it.
What’s the difference between a Hokie and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker. The other is a fish.
What’s the difference between a Porcupine and Lane Stadium?
On a porcupine, the 60,000 pricks are on the outside!
What do you call 15 Hokies standing side by side?
A full set of teeth!
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a Hokie?
Anyone else would have called it a “teethbrush.”
A kindergarten teacher in Roanoke introduces herself to her class on
the first day of school. “My name is Ms. Jones. I grew up here in
Roanoke and I’m a big Hokie fan. Who here is a Hokie fan?” All the
kids except Janey raise their hands. “Janey, why isn’t your hand up?”
she asks. “Because I’m not a Hokie fan.” “What do you mean, you’re
not a Hokie fan? If you’re not a Hokie fan, what are you?” “I’m a HOO
FAN!” Janey replies. “Janey, WHY could you possibly be a Hoo fan?”
Ms. Jones asks. “Well, my mother is a Hoo fan, and my father is Hoo
fan, so I’m a Hoo fan too!” Janey says. “That’s no reason to be a Hoo
fan! What if your mother were a dumb jackass and your father were a
dumb jackass?” “Then,” Janey smiled, “We’d be Hokie fans.”
What’s the best way to get a Tech graduate off your door step?
Pay him for the pizza
What’s the best thing about having a diploma from Tech?
You can hang it on your rearview mirror and park in handicapped spaces
Q: What happens when you drive slowly through Blacksburg?
A: You get a degree.
Awww look, Todd is recycling jokes already used earlier in this thread.. isn’t that cute!
I wonder if the best a UVA fan can do is copy a Hokie???
What do Tech and Marijuana have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What did the VT grad say to the UVA grad?
Do you want fries with that?
Q: Why can’t opponents run on Tech’s defensive line? A: They are
handcuffed together.
In 1895, a hokie invented the very first condom using a sheep’s bladder.
In 1896 a UVA grad improved the design by taking the bladder out of the
sheep first.
Al Groh and George Welsh paid a visit to one of the farms outside of Charlottesville during a recent football alumni reunion.
Upon walking around the back of a barn they noticed a poor defenseless ewe with her head stuck in a split rail fence getting reverse hammered by a stout ram.
Welsh says to Groh, ‘You know that looks pretty good… I’d like to try me some of that!’ Then proceeds to pull his pants down. ‘How about you Al, do you wanna try it?’
Groh says ‘Oh boy, would I?!!’
Then proceeds to drop his pants, bend over, and stick his head between the rails.
I was on a plane a few years ago sitting next to a fairly well dressed business man. We began talking during the flight and he happened to ask if I was a Tech grad. I said, “Yes, how could you tell?” He said, “I could just tell by your confident demeanor, your self assurredness and obvious success in life.” I said, “Thanks, and I happen to know you went to UVA.” He got a big smile on his face and said, “I sure did, how could you tell?” I said, “When you were picking your nose I read your ring.”
During a VT-UVa game at Scott Stadium a few years ago, I was in the restroom at a urinal next to a UVa fan. We both finished our task at the same time and I headed to the door as he headed to the sink. In a loud, condescending voice he said, “In Chaaaaalottesville the teach us to wash our hands after we urinate.” I turned and replied, “In Blacksburg, they teach us not to pee on our hands.”
Southern Hoo,
You are aware that UVA recruited Marcus Vick?
Ever heard of Peter Lalich, Barry Word, Kenny Stadlin?
VT actually graduates more athletes than UVA % wise now.
Go on the UVA website, they don’t even have the majors of their football players anywhere.
To all Wahoos, please answer the following questions:
1) How many ACC championship games have you played in?
2) How many ACC championship games have you won?
3) How many Orange Bowls have you played in?
4) How many Orange Bowls have you won?
5) How many Sugar Bowls have you won?
6) How many times have you played for the national championship in Football?
7) Since 1950 how many #1 overall NFL draft picks have you had?
8) Since 2004, how many times have you beaten VT in football?
Hint: Get one question right and you have a good shot at getting all of them right……
To those who say we haven’t beaten a good team all year, all I can say is that after Saturday that will still be true…..
Bob, Don’t forget Ahmad Bradshaw. And didn’t the great graduate Mr. Sampson pull some jail time for failure to pay child support?
Hoo’s, Stones…glass houses….look it up.
UVA recruited Marcus Vick, if he had came to our school he would have been kicked out when he molested 14 year old girls. Not VPI, that is their standards.
Just like Ahmad Bradshaw…He got caught drinking and ran from the cops and we kicked him out. Slight difference IMO.
Yeah, and Ahmad Brooks got thrown out of school too?
Be careful with that “holier than thou” attitude Todd.
It usually has more “holes” in it than substance.
Wasn’t there a Hoo lineman who stole beer from a gay bar and possibly assaulted the bartender? I can’t remember the name. Maybe Aaron could ask Doughty. If I remember right, I don’t think he got kicked out of school.
“Q: How do you keep Hokies out of your backyard?
A: Put up goal posts ”
I wonder if Todd will be telling this joke around 15:30 Saturday.
Steeling a beer is one thing. Buying booze for a 15 year old and then hooking up with her is another.
See, now this is what a rivalry ought to sound like. Good stuff, all.
I guess Hoo 4 UVA thinks beating up the bartender was okay. The Hoos are proving they can rationalize anything. Must be that superior education.
Thanks Aaron. If the Terps ever accomplished anything in football we’d be pouncing on them too. Sorry, that was mean spirited, but I was on a roll.
College Park provides plenty of material, my friend. I’ll be the first to admit it. I would think some “Jersey Shore” jokes would work.
Maybe that is one thing all VT and UVA fans have in common…hate for Maryland?
I heard they have higher utility wires in Charlottesville. Too many noses were hanging up on them at standard height.
Winning seasons are just about as infrequent at UVA as Sally Hemming decendants are at a Thomas Jefferson decendant’s family reunion…..
And just as welcome……
You can only really hate a team that’s good. I actually feel kind of bad for UVA in a way. They’ve done all that work to Scott Stadium in the past decade and built the JPJ, and for what? To play host to occasional concerts? It’s certainly not for showcasing athletic superiority in either…
What is really suprising OJ, is just how much talent is squandered at UVA. They had Ralph Sampson and never even won an ACC championship.
They had the Barber twins and lost the 1995 and 1996 games vs. VT with them on the team (of course they were products of a VT grad-J.D. Barber)
They had #2 overall draft pick Chris Long and never beat VT any of the years he was there.
When you look at the talent that have had and the first round draft picks (D’Brickashaw Ferguson, Monroe, Lageman, the list goes on and on) and they never accomplished ANYTHING with them and VT has basically won with a bunch of players that nobody else even wanted.
Of course, VT gets better players now because High School kids do want to be part of a successful program. How much money you guys still paying old Al, eh?
Hoos crying now?
Here are two phrases displaying the ‘finest’ examples of ‘humor’ from the UVA student body:
Bimbo Coles halftime at Lane Stadium
Tire Bowl halftime vs WVU
http://www.student.virginia.edu/~pepband/Anecdotes/Bimbo.html – the reason why the UVA Pep Band, and now UVA Marching Band, are banned from marching on Worsham Field.
This site doesn’t include the Tire Bowl incident, but you can most certainly find other examples of ‘humor’ at that website.
Wrong again Hoo 4 UVA. I was just ragging on Aaron. Hokies don’t hate Maryland. Ralph and Frank are good buds and neighbors at the lake in Georgia. Who this Hokie hates is The Canes. I’m an odd Hokie. I actually root for the Hoo’s now and then (like when you play Miami). I would really like to see the Hoo’s improve their program so it will help the Hokies strength of schedule. You’ve pulled that down the last couple of years.
I never saw the Tire bowl incident but the mocking of Bimbo Coles showed the amount of class some Wahoos have. Zero.
According to the people at the Tire Bowl, the actual halftime show was far more embellished than what was approved by the executive director of the Bowl and “not in the same tone we were led to believe.” I don’t have much time at the moment, but I’m sure you can find a link to the events somewhere on this site.
It should be clear and in fact the evidence is overwhelming by the number of posts posted by members of the hokie nation (Other John, Justafan & Marked Man) that they don’t have a life. I would love to be able to sit on my A$$ all day and post comments on this website, but I’ve got a life and can’t!
Awww Robert, I was actually standing up during most of those posts where we were ripping UVA…. with my foot atop a Hoo laying on the ground ‘neath me.
Donald, what’s funnier is the UVA student body’s spelling of ‘Olympian’ on that website you linked. Must be yet ANOTHER example of that high-class UVA education..
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As Dan Casey would say…Robert, thanks for reading!
Great comeback Robert. What’s next..”oh, yeah”?
Evidently Creative Writing isn’t in the superior curriculum at UVa.
After the Bear`s death, his widow moved to C`ville. When asked why, a tired Mrs. Bryant said “I want to get as far away from big time football as I can.”
Bottom line. Tech goes bowling in Florida. UVA goes bowling at AMF.
What do both Tech students and UVA students have in common?
They both got into VA tech.
I can’t wait to be your boss in a couple of years, Hokies. Us wahoos have futures, and you have football. good luck in life!
A Virginia Tech football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
How many UVA students does it take to give a Tech student a swift kick in the ass?
Just one. But others are welcome to join in.
How many Tech students does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to change it, and four to insist that Tech can change it just as well as UVA can.
Hey WahooWoman12, Let’s see if you still feel like saying those things after UVA finally decides to play VT in football someday.
Wow those were some awesome jokes you got there. Too bad that I have seen all of them on a different website. Shows those wahoos are good at copying our jokes. If you want to joke education I wouldn’t joke a school with one of the top engineering and architecture achools in the country but that’s just me