Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 02:18.
This s my first ever venture into the "blogosphere" but this series is so important and this is a really rough week; I need to vent. My dear, independent mother is 86, almost 87. She still lives alone in her own home so I must remain anonymous for her protection. I am her 57 yr old daughter and I work full time Mon thru Fri, 8:30-5:00-the times when daily chores and excursions are done. Mom is slowly losing her mind to dementia - still a mild case but enough for concern; she doesn't see it that way - in her mind, she's just getting old. Her driver's license was suspended effective yesterday due to information sent to DMV. Mom's heart is broken over this-she refuses (or is unable) to acknowledge that it's for her own safety as well as for others. While she hasn't had an accident or harmed anyone, it was only a matter of time. She is very angry and is blaming me for everything. Due to her rage over this, my heart is breaking too because it is now that I must bear the role of parent and she is the child; due to her dementia our relationship is not what is has been for so many years-the mom I knew growing up no longer exists. There are so many issues I could address but for now I want to simply say that no family member should have to bear the responsibility of telling a parent they should no longer drive. There should be a law: EVERYBODY'S driver's license automatically expires on their 85th birthay. If one feels they are able to continue driving, then prior to the expiration, must submit vision and medical reports to DMV for review as well as pass an on-the road assessment. Kid's have to prove their worthiness to drive; elderly should have to do the same. Knowing that the deadline is approaching forces plans to be made, no exceptions. Thanks for the space to vent. Respectfully, Barbara in Roanoke.
Eldery drivers
This s my first ever venture into the "blogosphere" but this series is so important and this is a really rough week; I need to vent. My dear, independent mother is 86, almost 87. She still lives alone in her own home so I must remain anonymous for her protection. I am her 57 yr old daughter and I work full time Mon thru Fri, 8:30-5:00-the times when daily chores and excursions are done. Mom is slowly losing her mind to dementia - still a mild case but enough for concern; she doesn't see it that way - in her mind, she's just getting old. Her driver's license was suspended effective yesterday due to information sent to DMV. Mom's heart is broken over this-she refuses (or is unable) to acknowledge that it's for her own safety as well as for others. While she hasn't had an accident or harmed anyone, it was only a matter of time. She is very angry and is blaming me for everything. Due to her rage over this, my heart is breaking too because it is now that I must bear the role of parent and she is the child; due to her dementia our relationship is not what is has been for so many years-the mom I knew growing up no longer exists. There are so many issues I could address but for now I want to simply say that no family member should have to bear the responsibility of telling a parent they should no longer drive. There should be a law: EVERYBODY'S driver's license automatically expires on their 85th birthay. If one feels they are able to continue driving, then prior to the expiration, must submit vision and medical reports to DMV for review as well as pass an on-the road assessment. Kid's have to prove their worthiness to drive; elderly should have to do the same. Knowing that the deadline is approaching forces plans to be made, no exceptions. Thanks for the space to vent. Respectfully, Barbara in Roanoke.