Thank you Beth, for today’s article about nursing home violations. My mother's facility apparently passed some kind of inspection; I know this because I saw a computer generated banner congratulating the staff for passing standards. However, they don't pass my standards of lowered expectations.
I believe your front page article is perhaps the best way this newspaper can serve the elderly in this area, by keeping the pressure on "for profit nursing homes". Because these facilities are just 'A JOB" OR "A PAY CHECK" for so many of the accompanying staff, there are no real goals of resident's quality of care. Soulless institution is a more apt description of her home.
I would encourage all families to be more proactive by simply visiting frequently. The benefits are enormous. Become familiar with the staff, schedules for meals, medications, baths, housekeeping, and be an advocate for your loved one. It's a steep learning curve but you will never be sorry that you put forth this effort.

Thank you for being a "A Willing Ear"

This s my first ever venture into the "blogosphere" but this series is so important and this is a really rough week; I need to vent. My dear, independent mother is 86, almost 87. She still lives alone in her own home so I must remain anonymous for her protection. I am her 57 yr old daughter and I work full time Mon thru Fri, 8:30-5:00-the times when daily chores and excursions are done. Mom is slowly losing her mind to dementia - still a mild case but enough for concern; she doesn't see it that way - in her mind, she's just getting old. Her driver's license was suspended effective yesterday due to information sent to DMV. Mom's heart is broken over this-she refuses (or is unable) to acknowledge that it's for her own safety as well as for others. While she hasn't had an accident or harmed anyone, it was only a matter of time. She is very angry and is blaming me for everything. Due to her rage over this, my heart is breaking too because it is now that I must bear the role of parent and she is the child; due to her dementia our relationship is not what is has been for so many years-the mom I knew growing up no longer exists. There are so many issues I could address but for now I want to simply say that no family member should have to bear the responsibility of telling a parent they should no longer drive. There should be a law: EVERYBODY'S driver's license automatically expires on their 85th birthay. If one feels they are able to continue driving, then prior to the expiration, must submit vision and medical reports to DMV for review as well as pass an on-the road assessment. Kid's have to prove their worthiness to drive; elderly should have to do the same. Knowing that the deadline is approaching forces plans to be made, no exceptions. Thanks for the space to vent. Respectfully, Barbara in Roanoke.

7 1/2 years ago we got the call that we all dread, my mother-in-law had suffered a serious stroke, while we were at the hospital in Lexington, I received a call from Florida that my father had also suffered a stroke that morning. Talk about overwhelming! I drove to FL to help with my father, while my husband helped care for his mother. Both parents went to rehab and are now home and being cared for by family. I don't think that there is anything that can prepare you for something like this. A year and a half ago we moved my parents here to Buena Vista, so that we could help care for my father. My husband and I have both taken early retirement from the school system and while this is not what we had planned on doing during our retirement, we feel that this is what needs to be done. Unfortuneately, in the small Buena Vista/Lexington/Rockbridge County area the options for assistance are not as great as Roanoke area. Sometimes it can get really discouraging and we all get tired, but it helps to know that we are not alone. The article that was in your newspaper helps others to know and hopefully understand some of the decisions that we make.
Tania Wheeler, Buena Vista, VA

Of course, I already know you are a wonderful writer and I always read anything with your byline. Saturday, 3/15/08 was my 28th Wedding Anniversary with the best husband that ever breathed and I know that like Mrs. Rhodes, I would find the strength and do what needed to be done for as long as I needed to do it and disregard others concern or opinions. Love is in the eye of the beholder and sadly even when one side is unresponsive the other just picks up the slack because of what once was. Mrs. Rhodes is indeed a role model, an Angel among us and a special individual on many levels and I thank you for introducing us to her and for bringing light to yet another area where our "health care system" is failing us. I hope your touching and honest portrayal and what must be the subsequent outpouring of support for her will further validate her decision and give her the strength she will surely need to face the future. Your empathy and intelligence shine through the article as always and you help us all to understand and hopefully ponder how to best "do something". A fan, Sandi Saunders - Hardy VA

I’m eager to read your feedback on our premiere of the series: What do see as being the regional gaps in caring for our elderly? Do you have ideas for future stories?

Please use this “Talk” feature as a way to share your thoughts. I hope you’ll also enjoy viewing and listening to the many additional stories here on our Web site, from the videos and audio stories (under the “Galleries” tab) to our online database for senior resources and assessment tools (both under the “Interactives” tab).

If you're having trouble using this site, let me know: beth.macy@roanoke.com.

And stay tuned for more stories April 20 and 21, when we delve into the issue of home care for seniors.

Thanks for reading!
Beth