A (playful) Question of the Week: so, was ‘Vanguard’ the worst movie ever made?
Yesterday (Sunday,) Studio Roanoke’s Guerrilla Cinema screened Vanguard, a low-low-budget schlocker by Meadows of Dan filmmaker Sean Klisiewecz that billed itself as “The Worst Movie Ever Made.”
When I read this, my personal reaction was, “Really? Worse than Plan 9 from Outer Space? Worse than The Room, Troll 2, MANOS: The Hands of Fate?”
Though I have to admit, the trailer for the movie does look … pretty bad.
So I proffer a question to those who may have seen it — did it live up to its billing? Please let me know in the comments.
June 27, 2011 - 11:55 AM
I guess it depends on your definition of worst. I wouldn’t presume to count myself in such august company as “Plan 9″- but, if folks enjoy “Vanguard” half as much as I’ve enjoyed those other films I’d be honored.
It’s heartfelt, creative, and a well-developed!
Great little movie filmed on a low budget.
The best way I can answer this question is to post the brief essay I presented right before Sunday night’s screening:
The Importance of Vanguard
By Ben R. Williams
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. The fliers and advertisements you have seen for tonight’s program promise a screening of “the worst movie ever made.” And, in roughly an hour and a half, some of you may leave completely satisfied with that promise. However, I believe that there’s more to Vanguard than immediately meets the eye, and before we begin, I’d like to explain to you how I came into contact with this film and why I wanted to share it with a wider audience.
May of 2009 was my final month as the manager of the historic two-screen Rives Theatre in Martinsville, VA. I’d done a number of special events at the Rives over my year and half tenure, and I wanted to end with a bang. And so, in a unique move in no way inspired by the Grandin Theatre, I created Open Projector Day, a special showcase for short films produced in the Henry County area. We heavily advertised the event, but as the deadline for film submissions approached, I began to grow nervous. I’d received only a handful of films, not even an hour’s worth of programming. But it is in our darkest moments when fortune most boldly smiles upon us. A few days before the event, I opened my mailbox to find Vanguard waiting inside.
The envelope contained a burned DVD and a note explaining that the movie didn’t quite fit our submission guidelines, as I had requested short films and Vanguard was feature length. I considered this a happy coincidence and eagerly fired up the theatre’s digital projector, excited to see what was likely the first film to ever come from Meadows of Dan, Virginia. I grabbed a bag of popcorn, settled into a comfortable seat, and began to watch.
I still remember what went through my mind during those first five minutes of Vanguard. I thought, this is the worst movie I have ever seen, and quite possibly the worst movie ever made. But I kept watching. I watched all the way through the credits, and that afternoon when I left work, I drove straight to my friend Bradley’s house and told him I had a movie for him. And I watched it again. And then, a few days later, I watched it with another friend. And then I watched it again on Open Projector Day, and a half dozen times since then. Because, ladies and gentlemen, Vanguard is one of my favorite movies.
Now I want to make it clear, I don’t enjoy movies that are bad for the sake of being bad. There’s no victory in setting out to make a B-movie and succeeding. But I do not believe that the writer/director, Mr. Sean Klisiewecz, set out to make a bad movie. I believe he set out to make one of the finest films of all time, and if it failed, it is surely a noble failure. Vanguard is not a genre film because it invents a new genre. I will now attempt a plot summary, though I promise not to spoil anything. Vanguard follows an alcoholic maintenance man at an island resort beset by the titular orbiting nuke-equipped satellite, an evil corporation, the cult of the demon god Archon, and a tunnel filled with ghosts. Also, the maintenance man’s best friend is both a serial killer and the comic relief. These are just a few of the parts of the film, but I could not explain to you how these parts fit together or if they do at all. The plot advances like a fever dream, each new scene having seemingly little to do with the scene previous. The script is ornate and complex, a combination of scientific writing and apocalyptic Christianity filtered through exposition that explains nothing. I cannot say I know what Vanguard is about, but I believe it is important.
Much of Vanguard’s appeal stems from its budget, which was, and I quote, “a couple hundred dollars.” The interior of the island resort often bears a striking resemblance to the Meadows of Dan Ruritan Club. The special effects are charmingly home-made. A couple of the actors are very talented. Their characters are killed off as quickly as possible. The remaining actors are not quite ready for prime-time, but fascinating in their own ways. The production may not have had a large budget, but there’s no lack of ambition.
When I presented this film at the Rives Theatre, the audience response was a bit mixed. People didn’t know what to make of it, and I largely blame myself for that, because I didn’t know how to introduce it. And now, two years later, the answer has come to me, so I will leave you with this: do not be afraid to laugh, and do not be afraid to enjoy Vanguard for what I believe it to be: the true best worst movie ever made.
Ladies and gentlemen, I appreciate you coming out tonight, and it is my sincere pleasure to share this film with you. Please enjoy… Vanguard.
Excellent, Ben! Thank you!
I agree. I have to admit that while the director had a vision, the cast of ridiculous actors just couldn’t pull off the material. I’ve watched the film 10 times & still don’t understand it. I think the director has something going here, if only he can simplify the script & find people that can at least act a little bit. Rumor has it that part 2, Demon God, is now in production & scheduled to begin shooting in late July. While this might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life, I can only hope that Mr. Klisiewecz learned from the first film & will provide everyone with a film that people will never forget….. It would be something to see him go from being the director of the worst film ever to being the director of something that everyone would love watching & completely enjoy. I wish him the best of luck. Do me a favor, Mr. Klisiewecz, cut Jerry from your next film. That no talentless clownshoe hack doesn’t belong in a film and couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag!
Sincerely,
Ralph Henderson
I’m afraid I must respectfully disagree, Mr. Ralph Hendersimpson. I believe Vanguard already fulfills the parameters for “a film that people will never forget,” not to mention “something that everyone would love watching & completely enjoy,” parameters which are not mutually exclusive from “worst movie ever made.” Additionally, while I will agree that the actor who portrayed Jerry had a very unique style, a Vanguard without Jerry would scarcely be a Vanguard at all.
Cordially,
Ben R. Williams
I’m afraid I have to cordially disagree with you Ben. I showed this to my friends and a day later this was “a film that people totally forgot” not to mention “this isn’t something that everyone completely enjoyed”. My point was that I think Mr. Klisiewecz had a vision. He just failed to pull it off. Therefore, the movie was by far the worst of the year. I guess he thought by putting Jerry in the film for comic relief, he thought everyone would see through the weak script. He couldn’t have been more wrong. I can only hope he hires good actors for the sequel & doesn’t make the same mistake he made in this film. I honestly believe the sequel will be better. It can’t get much worse. I did enjoy this movie, for the record. But I still don’t understand it….
Respectfully submitted,
Ralph Hendersimpson
He is my teacher at meadowbrook acadamy he hates me though lol.
My failings as both a director, a father, and a husband, fill me with great sadness. I have besmitchered the Klisiewecz name and will never be able to atone for such an act. Therefore, I have no recourse then to anounce “An Occational Hell” Part 3 in the WormWood Saga.
By the way I never hated you Tyler. Just thought you could do better.