BREAKING NEWS — Texas Tavern calls ceasefire in clash with Casey
The Roanoke Times | File
Chile militia disbanded . . .
Assassination attempts to end . . .
Diner discloses planned expansion to Antarctica . . .
Columnist inducted into ‘Roanoke’s Millionaires Club’. . .
Gift basket bribe broached . . .
Offers Dan lucrative PR consulting post
Hi Dan-
I hope you can understand my trepidation when you called [Wednesday], but after reading your column today I have to say that you have redeemed yourself quite well and your journalistic talents were on full display. I enjoyed the column. In light of this event the Texas Tavern board of directors convened an emergency session this afternoon to proceed with several orders of business.
1. Dan Casey has been voted a member of “Roanoke’s Millionaires Club” effective this day.
2. No further “assassination attempts” (to deliver chile to you) will be made by Spanky (or anyone else for that matter) from this day forth.
3. The chile militia (unorganized) will stand down (effective immediately) over the controversy ignited by last year’s column. Furthermore, it will be made public that Dan Casey should no longer need an armed escort to visit the Texas Tavern.
We also agreed that while “best chile in the western hemisphere” is quite the distinction we hope within a year’s time we will be able to boast that claim in at least 2 more continents (We may go for Antarctica first … you know how cold it is down there and how those scientists need to fill so many weather balloons! I think we will be a gas.) Also, our marketing/PR department may contact you on partnering in chile outreach strategies for the developing world.
Lastly, the Texas Tavern board of directors has voted to send you a Texas Tavern 81st anniversary gift basket. So as an advance notice do not be alarmed when a box from Texas Tavern shows up … no need to check to see if it’s ticking, and it won’t even be a quart with.
Sincerely,
Matt Bullington
Texas Tavern, Inc.
————————————
Note from Dan: Wait until they see what I’ve got planned for birthday No. 82. . .
February 11, 2011 - 8:00 AM
Gotta love the Bullington’s. They do have a great sense of hunor.
I can see now why so many people love Texas Tavern, and I think most of it has to do with the Bullingtons.
Oops, supposed to be humor.
Dan,
Sounds like the Bullington’s have a sense of humor. Just be carefull they don’t offer to send you on a all expense paid hunting trip with Dick Cheney.
the secret or should I say “super secret” militia (not even known by me) will never stand down. They are going “nuclear” Dan and they know where you live. (I am not the original Paul, I have stolen his identity and live in a cave in pintobeanlandia. I know from what I speak – it is a small cave.)
The TT was here long before Casey ever arrived on the scene and will still be here long after he is gone.
Dan, make sure you pay the meals tax to the city on the value of the 81st birthday gift basket you receive from the TT.
I hope you have a fan in your cave Paul.
TT would be the ideal spot for a Gonzo gathering. Good for them for having such a good sense of humor…I guess they know that there isn’t any such thing as bad publicity!
Maybe the Bullington’s sense of humor and fun-sport can become an example for all of those attending the Square Society event, and all of those reading and watching the news about it, that want to put that River whatever Laker whatever fellow into the market square and flog him 100 times for pulling-off what amounted to a prank and joke done in extreme poor taste!
I bet you River could strip in the TT without it winding up as a scandal on Channel 10. . .
I dont care who you are, that was funny!!
Dan’s last post was the best of the year so far from anyone, hands down!!
His stripping in TT would actually dress the place up a little.
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The only problem with River doing his strip dance at the TT is that it
sounds like there might not be room in there for him and his ego at the same time!
I’m eating my lunch from there, now. Everything is 81 cents today. The chile is actually pretty good, and while I would call the burger a slider, due to its size, it’s not bad.
A vegetarian could eat their chile. If all of the barely discernible pieces of ground beef in my bowl were added added together, they might amount to half a teaspoon full. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing….
‘A vegetarian could eat their chile.’
Assuming that the medium for the bits of meat is actually made of vegetables.
The TT uses real beef. I will give them that.
Lame joke on my part, Kristen. They do use real beef, but there are far more beans then beef in the chili. It was tasty and not greasy.
‘I bet you River could strip in the TT without it winding up as a scandal on Channel 10. . .”
Yep,he could settle for an ass whoopin…
Given all the discussion about Texas and chili (or chile), does any place around the Roanoke Valley or NRV serve a bowl of true “Texas Red” — chunks of sirloin (not ground beef) seasoned with a blend of black pepper, jalapeño, ancho and pasilla chiles, onion, lots of cumin & cilantro, etc and no beans?