Jodie McGrath | Wikimedia Commons

Note from Dan: While I’m on vacation, I’m treating you to some previously published columns. This one ran July 21, 2011. The Roanoke Tea Party is still peddling their paranoid claptrap. The Roanoke County Board of Supervisors may vote on its membership in the International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives Jan. 10.

MEMO

From: The United Nations

To: Our operatives in Western Virginia

Subject: Our plan to take over Roanoke County, Va., hits a snag

Dear Comrades,

It’s come to our attention that some members of the Roanoke Tea Party have sniffed out the secret plot to establish a beachhead for one-world government in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Recently, they successfully persuaded the Roanoke County Board of Supervisors to vote against “urban development areas,” a planning concept embraced by Virginia’s Republican-sponsored 2007 omnibus transportation act.

Somehow the Tea Party figured out it was part of Agenda 21, our sneaky, “UN-sponsored effort to destroy property rights.” That’s what their website says.

As you know, this scheme has been the U.N.’s highest priority for years. We had thought Roanoke County was the perfect dupe from which to launch a nationwide takeover.

Before you shout, “Curses! Foiled again!” we want you to know that many of our other operations in the Roanoke region remain intact. This memo briefly summarizes those and sets forth how we intend to strike back against those Tea Party Dudley Do-Rights.

READ THE REST OF THE COLUMN HERE.