2012.02.14
Caption This! (Would you buy pizza from this AG?)
From the Attorney General's web site | Changes by Dan
You may have read about Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli getting all choked up yesterday, as he described his own efforts to preserve freedom in this country at the Conservative Political Action Conference in D.C., the annual collection of RWers in our nation’s capital.
CPAC gave him the “Defender of the Constitution Award,” for his efforts on behalf of air pollution, and against the uninsured and a former UVa climate scientist.
If that was a heart-wrenching moment, the pic on the left is a lighter one. I snatched off the Attorney General’s web page.
No, “the Cooch” is not about to perform breast-augmentation surgery. It looks like he’s got a lump of pizza dough in his right hand.
Your challenge today is to imagine he’s hawking pizza to the folks assembled at CPAC. How would be do it? What would he say?
The funniest pitch wins the prize.
This contest concludes Wednesday at noon.
“Step right up and get a slice of a nice 3D Pizza (delusion, denial, demented), or as we like to call it “Freedom Pie”.
Comment by Sandi Saunders — February 10, 2012 @ 12:15 pm
Cooch: The secret to good pizza, like political campaigns, is in “the dough”. The more you can raise the better the pie (campaign). My favorite “dough” is what I call “corporate dough” because we get lots of it.
Comment by dave — February 10, 2012 @ 12:20 pm
How about a slice of CPAC pizza? It looks good, but may be difficult to digest.
Comment by Dave — February 10, 2012 @ 12:35 pm
Is there a trademark on his pizza?
http://www.chuchispizza.com/Images/new_logo_for_chuchi's.JPG
Comment by Joe — February 10, 2012 @ 12:39 pm
“Better restrictions. Better conservatives. Papa Ken’s.”
Comment by Polly Tiques — February 10, 2012 @ 1:31 pm
As you can see from this big wad I have in my hand, I have lots of dough!! I’m going to get lots more when I Koch this one.
Comment by Ron — February 10, 2012 @ 1:59 pm
Look at all this dough I got from Bobby Thompson!
Comment by Say What? — February 10, 2012 @ 2:37 pm
My specialty is the U.S. Navy Vets Pizza. That’s the one that gets me
the most “dough”.
Comment by dave — February 10, 2012 @ 2:37 pm
“Why should you buy my pie? First, NONE of the ingredients is organic. The cheese comes from hormone-fed cows! The tomatoes come from fields sprayed with pesticides! The flour comes from GMO wheat! And Roundup has been sprayed in all the gardens from which we get our spices.
Second, we use incandescent bulbs in our shops, so if one breaks, you never have to worry about an unwanted topping, mercury. (It’s in the air you breath, though, thanks to the emissions from the power plants that produce all the electricity we waste in the store).
Third, we use coal-fired pizza ovens, the most polluting kind possible.”
Comment by Dan Casey — February 10, 2012 @ 2:38 pm
I’d make you a climate change pizza but all the ingredients are artificial
and you can only get them in Charlottesville.
Comment by dave — February 10, 2012 @ 2:47 pm
Yes this is actual fat from Dan Caseys gut.
Comment by jeb — February 10, 2012 @ 2:55 pm
“Second, we use incandescent bulbs in our shops, so if one breaks, you never have to worry about an unwanted topping, mercury. (It’s in the air you breath, though, thanks to the emissions from the power plants that produce all the electricity we waste in the store).
Comment by Dan Casey — February 10, 2012 @ 2:38 pm”
how ignorant
Comment by pammala — February 10, 2012 @ 3:25 pm
you too can be rolling in the dough.
Comment by gary — February 10, 2012 @ 5:25 pm
We recently added a ‘new’ item to the menu just for liberals. It’s called man-made global warming pizza. It’s a new food product that we have just invented. It costs 5 times the price of a regular pizza. In reality it isn’t anything new. It’s like the McRib. It’s always been around and just comes back periodically, but the only way we could justify the price was to convince people it was something new. Unfortunately conservatives are’nt buying it so we are really counting on liberals to make this scheme work.
Comment by Chuck — February 10, 2012 @ 6:38 pm
Looks like dough, right? Well, it is. 50k worth right here tightly wrapped and lightly powdered. And I ain’t giving it back til they catch the SOB that gave it too me. Due process you know…
Comment by Cold n P — February 10, 2012 @ 10:21 pm
Chef Boyardee here. Watch me single handedly bake this pizza dough with my own hot air. No oven needed. No federal funding required. Take that Solyndra!
Comment by Ernie — February 10, 2012 @ 10:43 pm
Welcome to Cooch’s Pizza and Politics Palace. All the demagoguery you can eat. Admission requirements: 1. Only Real Americans admitted. 2. Long form birth certificate required. 3. Latest financial statement confirming
net worth of over $1 million required. 4. Minimum cashier’s check of $10000 made out to Cooch for Governor superpac. 5. Sign pledge that you do not now and have never believed in climate change, global warming,
or universal health care.
Comment by dave — February 11, 2012 @ 10:05 am
As you all know, I will go anywhere, do anything, anytime, as long as I can get my hands on the “dough”
Comment by dave — February 11, 2012 @ 10:12 am
Guys, you have to try my pizza. This is what I was really born to do and I’m a hell of a lot better pizza maker than I am a lawyer. As a matter of fact, I wonder if Herman will hire me after I get my butt kicked in next year’s race for Governor.
Comment by dave — February 12, 2012 @ 1:59 am
Buy it by the pie or by the wedge issue…Cuccinellis, now that’s Italian!
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 5:52 pm
“Let our professional staff help you with your next office party. But remember, we only cater to the top 1%.”
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 7:13 pm
“Try our new Double Standard Pizza with 20% more cheese than a Morgan Griffith campaign ad!”
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 7:15 pm
“All our restaurants meet the minimum EPA standards for nocturnal emissions.”
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 7:16 pm
“Our sauces are made only of the freshest tomatoes, harvested at peak ripeness by non-union migrant farm workers.”
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 7:18 pm
“With our guaranteed ultra-fast delivery, you’ll have your steaming pile of…uh, I mean steaming, hot pizza faster than you can say “uranium kickback.”
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 7:27 pm
“Try our pizza…it’s Tea Partilicious!”
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 7:31 pm
“CPAC–not just for sinus infections anymore.”
Comment by Morris Fleischer — February 13, 2012 @ 7:38 pm
The sauce and the toppings are unimportant. It’s the “dough” that counts. Remember, extremism in the defense of campaign contributions is no vice.
Comment by dave — February 14, 2012 @ 1:12 am
Squeezing these dough balls is kind of erotic (blush)! They kind of remind me of those things I had covered up with armor on the State Seal.
Comment by dave — February 14, 2012 @ 1:16 am
It’s rich guy pizza. Not much taste, but a whole lot of dough.
Comment by Old Blue — February 14, 2012 @ 1:44 pm
I’m gonna take’a this pizza dough’a and toss it around like it’s a’Dan Casey and see what I get.
Comment by Rick H. — February 14, 2012 @ 2:08 pm
It’s a cabbage, doofusses….you can see the stalk in the 3o’clock position. Plus, you can tell by his fingers that it is rigid. LMAO
Comment by Phil Chitwood — February 14, 2012 @ 6:45 pm
Ok….this thread has been up for 6 hrs…..let’s pretend it is something else for the next 6 hrs.
Comment by Phil Chitwood — February 14, 2012 @ 7:06 pm
Hi! I’m Ken the pizza baker doll. My significant other and I have just opened the Ken and Barbie’s GOP Pizza Barn. Try one of our specialty pizzas. We have the Rick Santorum Pizza which uses six different kinds of nuts for toppings. There’s also the Mitt Romney Pizza. It chasnges its toppings every day so each day is a new surprise. Then there’s the Newt Gingrich pizza. It’s crust rises or falls each day according to how the Newtster is doing in the polls. And last but not least is the “Coochie” Pizza. It’s condemned by the EPA but is a big seller to the Climate change research labs as a delivery item. You can buy all 4 and help me repay my campaign fund for the money I had to give back. A bargain for just $55500!
Comment by dave — February 15, 2012 @ 2:34 am
The politically blind are also literally blind! Who knew??
Comment by Phil Chitwood — February 15, 2012 @ 10:28 am