Thursday’s column: Bedtime in Coochville is a nightmare for Virginia
Photo montage by Chris Overstreet
Night is falling on the household of Ken Cuccinelli. Let’s call it bedtime in Coochville, where there’s a bunch of young’uns.
As usual, the Virginia attorney general and his wife split up the chore of getting the kids settled into their slumbers. For
Ken, it’s story night for three pipsqueaks.
Let us imagine some of those scenes.
The attorney general enters his son’s room, and picks up a copy of Dr. Seuss’s “Horton Hatches The Egg.” He turns to the page he’d stopped reading from the night before.
“Very well,” said the elephant, “since you insist
You want a vacation. Go fly off and take it.
I’ll sit on your egg and I’ll try not to break it.
I’ll stay and be faithful. I mean what I say.”
“Toodle-oo!” sang out Mayzie and fluttered away.
There’s a pause, and the little boy says, “read the next page, Daddy.”
“Sure,” Ken says.
“It’s like taking the pill,” the free bird laughed out loud
“No egg will bind me in a nest stuck in branch!
“I’ll do what I want, I might buy a ranch.”
But that made God mad, so Mayzie flew at her peril,
And when she hit ground God made her quite sterile.
The little boy seems confused.
“Daddy,” he says, “why does mommy read it different?”
“I borrowed this edition from Uncle Bobby,” Ken says to his son. “You know — Del. Bob Marshall.”
“Is Uncle Bobby Dr. Seuss?!” the little boy asks in wonder and amazement.
Ken smiles.
“No. He’s much better,” Cuccinelli says. “Night, night.”
READ THE REST OF THIS COLUMN HERE.
March 29, 2012 - 6:00 AM
OMG! Why didn’t you use that picture in the paper? LOL
Pity there wasn’t a fourth child so the environmental premise of “The Lorax” could be twisted beyond recognition…
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We’re off the never never land
Something’s wrong shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren’t of snow whit dreams of war
Dreams of lies
Dreams of dragons fire
And of all things that will bite
Sleep with one eye open
Grippin’ your pillow tight
“Enter Sandman” by Metallica could be Cooch’s new campaign song
LOL, good one Dan. Doubtless the subversive children’s books would all need to be revised in his household. Can you imagine the Santorum version? I can only imagine the great books his children have never read.
“The price good men pay when they ignore public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”
Plato
Why would Cuccinelli share domestic chores with his wife? Childcare is women’s work.
There are several very good and potentiaslly strong Democrats ready to challenge whoever the Repubs nominate to continue their crusade against women’s rights and clean air and water in Va. For the present, it’s a good thing for them to just stand by snd watch Bolling and the Cooch beat each other’s brains out (a la the GOP presidential comedy tour).With Obama now showiung a ten point lead on any of the GOP presidential pretenders in Va. and with the harm the GA and Bob McDonnell have done to the Republican brand with their anti women agenda, they will face an uphill battle in any statewide elections in the near future.
Gosh, Dan, thanks for warning us all about Cucinelli. Imagine, Virgina’s AG thinks the sun revolves around the earth! I was going to vote for him, but no more. Guess I’ll have to vote for a scientifically literate Democrat who believes in evolution: the theory that says princes come from frogs.
“Dave says:
Pity there wasn’t a fourth child so the environmental premise of “The Lorax” could be twisted beyond recognition…
Posted on March 29th, 2012″
Or Cuccinelli could tell the story of the much maligned Yertle the Turtle…..
I like the nips on the breastplate. (I told y’all I’m pro-nip.)
This is a metro piece? What metro?
OP ED all the way. And a poor one at that.
I’ve got to say I was jonesing just a bit that BobH hadn’t chimed in with his familiar refrain.
Ah, relief. . .
BobH, welcome back! Thanks for reading Dan Casey’s Blog!
#11 Aiyeeee!!!
Bob’s not-back again!
Squeeze in bra and thats all he could muster?
That looks just as convincingly that he got the
lads up and tight ,,and do his falsetto piece.
Hatts off to the Mitts….(men in tights n tin)
Greasemanelli? Dan im sure you remember that!