Caption This! photo from Occupy Roanoke
Photo by Chris Suspect | Used with permission
That guy holding the red flag at Occupy Roanoke in Elmwood Park goes by the moniker “Commander Zero.” He’s the only avowed Marxist of that bunch, so far as I can tell.
Your challenge today is to tell us what he’s saying, and what the woman on then right is thinking. Your entries should look like this:
Zero: “Better off red than dead!”
Woman: I think he’s got that backwards.
The funniest entry will win a prize from Dan’s Bookshelf.
Thanks to Chris Suspect, for allowing me to use this shot, and to his mother-in-law, Debbie, who suggested it. See more of Chris’ great photography here.
Have fun, everyone!
April 20, 2012 - 12:00 PM
Zero: “Toro aqui!”
Debbie: Man I’m gettin’ out of here. I think that bull means business!
ZERO: “HELP! My thumb is stuck in my ear!”
WOMAN: “Well, at least YOU have arms…”
New Roanoke City Ordinance – “All Certifiable Idiots must be marked with a Red Flag, and hold their Right Hand Up” (This excludes all elected officials).
Woman: “No hammer and sickle? In MY day we were PROUD to be Commies…oh well, at least they are practicing the bread lines”
Che wannabe: “I swear, when I stick my thumb in my ear like this, I sound like a white Van Jones. Let me say something for you…’PRAVDA!’…Do you hear it?”
Dan, I am not back…just passing through.
Zero: “Once more into the breach, dear friends
Or close up the walls with English dead!”
Woman: “I’d rather close it up with you instead.”
Abject apologies to William Shakespeare
CZ: We should take the money from the ultra-rich and give it to the people!
Woman: What people?
CZ: (raises hand) Us people.
FYI That’s not me in the pic.
Zero: just be honest, we are all here because we are commies
Woman: hey dumbass, you missed the talking points lecture. Stick with the 99% vs.1% mantra and the guvmunt will be sending us more checks than you can count.
Zero: Man that was great, I just took a crap in the bushes over there.
terps disguised as woman: You’re driving my family away with all your littering and fornicating and sleeping in the park.
Zero: Zeich!
Woman: Heil!
Zero: Zeich!
Woman: Heil!
Zero: “But Suzie, you said Virginia was going Red”
Suzie: “Dang MSM and their map. Everyone I know knows that we should be Blue and the Democrats Red.”
Wow, even Dave Hicks is playing!
Commander Zero: “Red state, red flag!”
Woman: This dude must be colorblind. November’s election will prove Virginia’s blue.
Maloof, I think you mean “Sieg”.
CZ: “Ma,am, I can’t hear you when my thumb is in my ear unless you speak directly into the flag-o-phone.”
Commander Zero: Hey Don’t you work for the newspaper?
Dan: Yes, I am award-winning journalist Dan Casey and…
Commander Zero: Do you do the Style Street section?
Dan: No but I….
Commander Zero: Do you know the person who does Style Street? Can you call them and tell them to come over here to take my picture?
Dan: I…
Commander Zero: You can use my iPhone.
CZ: Are you admiring my chic military style outfit? It does give me a presence as I command my group here in the park…
Woman: No, I was looking at your child bearing hips and T-Rex like arms, and wondering how you get your keys out of your pocket.
Zero: “Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!”
Woma: “Hmmm…I think someone else said that.”
Commander Zero: Actually, my name is Steve. And I’m just playing a role to try to get you all to think more about sharing. No one should be earning 200,000 times more per year than the homeless woman who is watching me.
Homeless Woman: These Occupiers are the only people who haven’t treated me like crap since I lost my home and moved into the Rescue Mission. I hope some clueless jackass won’t make rude jokes about this guy trying to make the world a better place and about my heartbreaking homelessness as I enter my twilight years.
(Not funny? Maybe because it’s true folks.)
Commander Zero: Wir müssen gewinnen sie diesen Kampf gegen die 1% mit die Macht der Überredung, keine Gewalt, keine Kanonen.
Smart Woman: Kameraden, die rote Fahne hat keine Stars und Bars. Das ist Virginia. Sie besten bereit sein für ein paar gute alte boy Waffen und Gewalt, wenn sie fortfahren, sich wie ein verlockendes Ziel.
Good one #20. (I ran it thru Google translator.) This is what Dan had in mind, rather the hateful personal insult that #17 was.
Woman: Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to wear a brown belt with black pants?
And no #19 that is not me dressed as the chic intimidator.
Zero: It is I Don Quixote the Man of La Mancha!!
Woman: That’s all we need. Some flake spouting nonsense!! That will do us a lot of good!
Zero: Wer war es beschwerde über hijacking diskussion behaupten Waffen?
Woman: Es ist ein wasserkocher nicht einen topf beobachtung.
.
Or more apropos:
0: кто является его жалобы по поводу захвата обсуждения для отстаивания оружия?
женщины: это чайник не pot наблюдения.
I vote for Dave Gresham’s caption.
Capt. Zero:
“We’re in a mess folks, we’re in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can’t send help, send two more women!”
Woman:
Make that three more women. I’m outta here!
(With apologies to the Marx Brothers and ‘Duck Soup’.)
It is true I come from the Red Planet
..They are talking to me now..you need to be quiet
while I adjust the frequency on my hand.
lady: “You know if you just quit talking not only could
you hear home..but your flag would be limp
guy: “I’m Dan Casey, march with me and we can get you all jobs!!!”
woman: “Idiot, we don’t want jobs, we want money.”
Capt. Zero: WHAT?! WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY?!
Woman: No, I will not kiss your Angry Bird flag.
Zero: Will work for Prozac!
Woman: Uh Oh. The dude’s off his meds again. Soon he’ll be sounding like Suzie.
Zero: “Red Flag at night, sailors delight!”
Woman: No hookers downtown these days…no sailors either.
Zero: “Viva La Revolución!”
Woman: I don’t think he speaks English.
Zero: “It is better than a sign, at least people ask questions”
Woman: Yeah, like have you lost your mind.
Zero: Alright! Who’s up for a nice game of Capture the Flag? Here are the rules: 1. No guns allowed.
Woman: Uh oh! Wayne Lapierre and the good ole boys ain’t gonna like that one!