OK, folks, here are 9 of the 24 or so limericks you wrote about that odious 100-percent beef and ammonia meat product known as pink slime, which apparently no longer is mixed into your hamburger patties. Do you miss it?
Vote for your favorite of those below. I’ll announced the winner first thing Friday morning.
(Full disclosure: I am NOT that pink slime-defending Dan Casey, though you probably grasped that already).
#3, from Kristen:
When hungry, ingest some pink slime!
Sad to say, selling it’s no crime.
Your gut – it rebels!
Resulting in smells
Memorable, but far from sublime.
#4, from Miriam:
There once was a cow named Big Black
Who went to be butchered, KA-WHACK!
He went in as a bovine
and came out as pink slime,
And now he’s a yummy Big Mack
#7, from tass
There once was a weak company
That handled its accounts poorly
So as soon as some stress
Began to hit the press
It immediately declared bankruptcy.
#8, from Ed
What can we do with all this scrap meat?
Some might be edible, even a treat.
We will process with toxins and render it safe,
increasing our profits, no matter who’s chafed.
But now they have caught on! what shall we do?
Send it back out labeled as “Pink Goo”?
#10 from Hillary
A patty of pink slime to grill
Makes char-broiled beef such a thrill
When it’s cooked to perfection
Can it cause an infection…
I might as well dine on road-kill.
#12 from Dylan
It’s made of hooves and tails and spleen
Mashed together and ammonia cleaned
A recipe for E.coli
Dogs shun it,as do I
Holy cow, it’s Soylent Green!
#14 by Old Blue
There once was some stuff called pink slime
And though it’s quite easy to rhyme
It was harder to swallow
And events that would follow
Had the company closed in no time.
#16 by Debbie
You’ve filled my burgers with pink goo
My chickens with arsenic, Benadryl and Prozac too
You mess with my bacon
Your life you’ve forsaken
Because this carnivore’s coming after you
#20 from Cold n P
Kibbles and Bits, Kibbles and bits
The corporate made zillions from kibbles and bits
Then one day
Seeking just one extra dime
The corporate gave us all
Some nasty pink slime.