(By popular demand) Caption This! photo of Mitt Romney and fudge
AP Photo | Text balloon by Dan
This picture was shot years ago (during the last presidential campaign, I believe).
But now that the Romney campaign is begging the governors of Florida and Ohio to fudge their recently optimistic employment numbers (Romney wishes they were worse) it seems time to haul out this oldie-but-goodie for some Caption This! treatment.
(Besides, a lot of you have been begging to have some fun with this one).
The challenge today is to put some words in the Mittster’s mouth, as he poses in Armani and latex at a coffee shop/fudge store somewhere in America.
The funniest entry wins, but you have to keep your entries suitable for a family newspaper. You’ll get bonus points for actual quotes in which Romney used with the term “fudge,” and/or if you can relate your fake words to his current campaign.
The winner gets a book off Dan’s Bookshelf, and the contest ends Wednesday at noon.
June 22, 2012 - 12:00 PM
Now – who needs that DRE? [digital rectal exam]
I’m willing to do anything to be president.
“It will only hurt for the rest of your life!”
“If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.”
“I’m too sexy for my glove, too sexy for my glove….”
Dan Casey is not a great speller!
Dan, don’t you ever get tired of peddling this transparent, partisan trash for your liberal handlers?
It must get really old.
BobH,
Thank you for the correction, and the continued patronage.
“Now that I have these hermetically sealed gloves on, It’s time to Pack some Fudge! What Matt? I shouldn’t say it like that? Why? I’m just trying to pack these wonderful constituents’ fudge so they have something to enjoy tonight after dinner!”
(Matt refers to Matt Rhoades, his campaign manager)
” Bend over Newt. It’s time to check your fudge level.”
“I just left The Mint Restaurant and Ultra Lounge Champaign Bathroom Lounge after having a great lunch. Now I’m off to my secret proctology practice.”
This is my special glove. It’s the one I use on all the blue states.
(Green Bay, Wisconsin) Mitt misses the mark in trying to woo the Green Bay Packer fans.
I’m going to need these to clean up the mess Obama left for me.
Sorry Dan, this is not an entry. I am interested in reading more about your assertion that Romney wants Ohio and Florida to fudge their numbers though. Do you have a link to that? News please, not some biased opinion piece.
It matches my “magic underwear”!
Chuck,
Just google Romney and Kasich and what’s his name in Florida and “jobs.”
It’s all over the Web. Those governors are going around their states saying “we’re recovering!” And it’s hurting Romney’s message that “things are bad and only I can make them better” meme in those swing states.
“I’m here to demonstrate my vision for the United States: BOHICA, using this glove made in China.”
Here’s one Chuck:
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06-21/romney-campaign-said-to-ask-scott-to-downplay-job-gains.html
The denials came pretty quickly too:
http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/06/22/romney-hasnt-told-kasich-not-to-tout-ohio-job-gains.html
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57458089-503544/mitt-romney-and-rick-scott-camps-shoot-down-reports-of-muzzling-talk-of-improving-economy/
You mean like this:
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entries/governor-kasich-spox-romney-never-asked-us-to
Or is it this one from Bloomberg that quotes those famous, anonymous, sources?
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06-21/romney-campaign-said-to-ask-scott-to-downplay-job-gains.html
So we are to ignore the fact that both Governor’s released official statements denying that such a request was ever made and believe the anonymous allegations made by those with a clear political agenda.
Sorry bub, I can’t see any reason to give this any more credence than I could the whole birther thing. Like Sandi is so fond of pointing out, it’s easy to say anything when you are anonymous.
First, Uncle Sam. Then, Lady Liberty. (Yes, this evil smile is REAL)
“Bend over, America; here I come!”
“Don’t mind the glove….this is what I wear to shake hands with the poor people.”
“Now I can take part in hijinks and pranks without leaving any fingerprints.”
“Damn dog pooped all over the car again.”
Ah yes! These will work just fine when I have to clean up all the BS Obama left behind come next January.
“Like a lot of things in life, when you put the gloves on, it’s better to give than to receive.”
(With apologies to Sugar Ray Leonard.)
“Well, it’s not a velvet glove, but it’ll have to do.”
“NEXT!”
“It’s usually the Kochs wearing these things.”
“Dan, don’t you ever get tired of peddling this transparent, partisan trash for your liberal handlers?”
you’re a good writer with a great sense of humor dan. there are so many things you could be informing us about and entertaining us with besides your politics
When I’m not impersonating cops I do a real good TSA impression. Everybody laughs when I pull this one at “The Club”
Well. How did you think we kept the horse drugged?
http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/showthread.php?p=870372
Kristen, that’s a good one.
Steve C and Contra, ROTFLMAO!
“I can’t wait to get in there and clean up 0bama’s mess”
Romney: “I was told that I can’t pack your fudge without a glove…..
…..what’s so funny?”
This was my first thought when the pic appeared on the other thread, but I resisted posting it.
Romney whispering to aide: “Tell me again how photo op helps us make up ground in San Francisco???”
“Yes these will do. I’ve got to go shake hands with those (shudder) Latinos tomorrow!”
” Come on Bob. Let’s go show ‘em how easy that transvaginal ultrasound
is.”
” The EPA makes us wear these when we’re baptizing dead people.”
“Chris says:
I’m going to need these to clean up the mess Obama left for me.
Posted on June 22nd, 2012″
——-
“Suzie says:
“I can’t wait to get in there and clean up 0bama’s mess”
Posted on June 22nd, 2012″
——-
Well, well, well, looky, looky. Screwzie has walked out yet another personality. There’s no other explanation for two posts being so very similar.
” Anne’s anniversary present..
..She gets a little sparkle in her eye , snaps
them , then she puts hers on “
I vote for dave’s baptism comment! Hahaha!
“Theres plenty of intimacy in Willards
house..dont worry about that!
“I’ve always wanted to pack fudge. Can I say that?”
“America rejoice..
I salute you all ..one finger
at a time.”
“Actually, I’ve decided to go back to Bain Capital and I need these gloves to do what I did while I was there before.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/23/us/politics/companies-ills-did-not-harm-romneys-firm.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&hpw
Unreal..Only the Times (I’m not surprised) would post a picture such as this with the condescension that it implies. It’s designed to solicit deriding comments about Mr. Romney. So many things that the Obama purported as “Gospel”..he has completely done the opposite of…The list is endless….I challenge the Times to post a picture of Obama in the same way as this Romney picture has been posted..otherwise..the Times?? Left wing Moonbat Liberal Kool-aid drinkers is all you must be taken for.
“I’m going to visit Suzie Q next week and needed to have the proper gloves on.”
http://www.roanoke.com/news/breaking/wb/310577
Dave West,
That picture has been all over, seriously. Not in just the Roanoke Times. I mean this sincerely.
If you have a picture of Obama putting on a rubber glove at a fudge factory, send it to me.
“Heeeere Lemmiwinks…”
#48 Real photo. Been run in other places. Quit whining, Dave West.
48.”Unreal..Only the Times (I’m not surprised) would post a picture such as this with the condescension that it implies.”
That picture would be funny no matter what public figure it was. As for a picture of Obama in a factory putting on a glove… Are you kidding me? That’s too much like work for him.
Lot’s of RW’s on this blog. Just none with a sense of humor or appreciation for the bizarre. No matter if they’re from the east or
“West”. Romney has a great talent for posing for photo ops that make him
look silly. He tries so hard to look like one of the guys when the only place he’ll ever be one of ‘the guys” is in some rich dude’s privatr box,
at the yacht club, or attending the “dressage” finals. He needs to stop pretending to be what he’s not. I think people would respond to him much better if he’d just be Romney.
When Anne and I let out hair
down we’re pretty much like
like any Willard and Anne.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/wally_wabbit/3363644486/
I don’t know what he said, but I can see what he was thinking. I’ll imagine it was humorous to him. Country club humor might whoosh over my head.
As John Wilburn pointed out indirectly, it’s a contradiction of apparel. The ‘suit’ says I don’t do jack. Anything that happens after that is more of the silly game. Now he can pretend to do something for Jack or Jill.
“Now for my next trick…watch as I surgically remove Dave West’s sense of humor using only my gloved hand!”
“What are the chances? Exactly three years since Michael Jackson passed away and I find his other glove!”
“Let me show you this little trick I use to loosen up the purse strings of my biggest donors!”
“It’s as easy as loading a horse with painkillers so you can sell it to unsuspecting dupes. Now watch this technique…”
Alright, Can I get you to bend over now? ( a little practice for what I’ll be doing to the American public)
Romney says, “If elected I will repeal Obamacare and we will need to do our own prostate exams. I will demonstrate the correct procedure on myself.”
I go to Sam’s for my giant tub of Crisco.
“But it’s the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let’ do the Time Warp again
Let’s do the Time Warp again”
“If elected, I promise it will feel like a catcher’s glove. They don’t call me “Mitt” Romney for nothing.”
(Note: I don’t like Obama much better than this spoiled billionaire man-child. There is an excellent article on Common Dreams today http://www.commondreams.org by ex-President Jimmy Carter about Obama’s shameful continuation (and expansion!) of Bush’s un-constitutional, criminal, and murderous military programs…. Lottery elections are the only answer I see to solve the endless cavalcade of military/industrial corporate mouthpieces getting elected.)
Let me put on my magic glove. With its power, I bet I can buy this chain store group, strip it down, make a quick 25 million, shut it down, and send the jobs to Pakistan in less than 18 months!
So this is latex! I’ve never worn any before. Is it supposed to stop the spread of diseases or something?
Fudge store employee:
“Mr. Romney, you must put these on to pack our fudge”
Mitt:
“…really? I was taught since I was a child that all Mormons are allergic to latex, will get a disease, and die!”
So you want to make fun of me be calling me “Mittens”?
I’ll slow you mittens