Put your own words in Mitt Romney’s mouth!
AP Photo | Word balloon by Dan
Give us your best, folks! The one on the left is mine.
September 18, 2012 - 1:48 PM
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September 18, 2012 - 1:48 PM
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Sunday, May 19, 2013
THE ROANOKE TIMES
“I don’t apologize for America and I don’t apologize for myself”!
When I’m the 1% of the 1% it’s clear
I am sacrament..you are excrement.
- Could you guys go easy on me today? My car elevator broke and I’m super bummed about it.
- So if you flip-flop twice, it cancels out, right?
- What tax returns? I deal with the IRS the same way I deal with poor people – ignore ‘em.
“I just suck”
I have no difficulty getting my foot into my mouth!!
As I said in July to the people whose votes I want, I support a two solution between Israel and the Palestinians. And as I said in May to people who paid $50,000 each for dinner with me, I think a two state solution is unthinkable. A two state solution is only right when it’s one state for robber barons and another state for steerage rabble.
” Would you please tell Clint that I beg to differ. For ME that IS physically possible.”
Just when you think this guy could not say anything more off the cuff and off in the deep end and boy he says something like this.
Well the good news is this guy is not winning in Nov. and the star that the GOP attached itself to (the far right)is going over the cliff which at the end of the day is not such a bad thing.
Makes one wonder what comes next? I bet many comedy writers are waiting with pen in hand.
Is that you R2D2? How’s dad?
All those stupid insensitive out of touch statements, those foreign policy gaffes, those foot in mouth moments and flip flops that define my candidacy……I did that myself!!!
if i say as-salamu alaykum, like barry did do you think they will still hate us or do i need to apologize too?
“I was brainwashed by the Koch brothers and that led me to make those statements in the video.”
“Okay, okay. . .I will admit that Ryan is better looking than me, but let’s not forget. . . money can buy looks! It’s called plastic surgery.”
Yom Kippur, Schmom Kippur!! Go atone for yourselves you losers…we sneering plutocrats can do what we please, and besides, as a Mormon I believe God changed his mind about black people in 1978, so who’s to say he hasn’t changed his mind about moneychangers and rich men getting into heaven? I’ll bet ten thousand dollars that he has…
Oh I wish I wasn’t such an arrogant weiner,
That’s what focus groups say not to be.
But ‘though I’m such a lying arrogant weiner,
Hey you losers, you still should vote for me!!
“Now I’m going to lose by THIS much!”
“No matter what I say, Dan Casey will take it out of context and skewer me on his blog”
or
“if 47% are too ignorant to understand the debacle of the past 4 years, I need to worry about getting votes from the intelligent voters”
10. Still Learning, I love it.
7. dave, I like that one too.
Mitt, “Who are the 47%? Well, Christine Romans can explain that far better than I can.”
——–
http://tinyurl.com/9llugjh
**
Who are the 47%?
CNN Newsroom|Added on September 18, 2012CNN’s Christine Romans fact-checks Mitt Romney’s comments about the 47% of Americans who don’t pay federal income taxes.
[video]
**
Your take away gift for paying $50K to be here tonight is a sooper dooper pooper scooper. By the time I’m done talking, you’ll need it!!
1. Corporations are people my friend – but I’m not…
2. I love this state. The trees are the right height, of course I hate 47% of the people here…
it’s about time the lib media began reporting what I actually say! and, it’s about time obama does something on china! and on palestine and the muslim problem! oh, yeah, oops, he hasn’t done anything about that yet, has he? …for those of you want a rich America versus a poor america , I’m your guy!
I support MACACA 100%!
Bill Clinton’s Words are great: It’s the numbers – stupid!
http://roanokeslant.blogspot.com/2012/09/clinton-its-numbers-stupid.html
-
Obama’s Soothing Words are super: Don’t Worry – Be Happy
http://roanokeslant.blogspot.com/2012/08/obama-pied-piper-at-charlottesville-va.html
-
And then there’s Obama’s Insightful Words: I won’t allow the half of Americans who pay no taxes to bear the burden of the other half who aren’t paying their fair share.
http://roanokeslant.blogspot.com/2012/08/romney-ryan-thinking-voters-choice.html
-
“Let them pay taxes”
“Chedderbomb got to go to Hotel Roanoke for dinner and all I got was these lousy poll numbers!”
“Wait a sec; can you please repeat the question again? I couldn’t hear you over L B Hagen’s infantile whining!”
“Yes, I’ll admit it; conservatives tears will be one of the country’s most plentiful natural resources on the morning of November 7th.”
“Women that are going places start at Hollins!”
“After all the polling, the 89.7 million in superpac donations, the primaries where I had to slug it out with those other clowns, and all the shoe leather I’ve had to shovel down my gullet, it turns out that Steve C was right about my campaign chances all along…”
“If only Steve Nelson would have helped me debate in Roanoke I could have been a contender! I could have been somebody!”
“Hah! The chances of my wife’s two caddy’s takin’ a trip in an elevator are more likely than I’ll be able to dupe enough idiots to elect me!”
“My chances on winning this thing? I got nothing.”
“Hopes and dream will all fade away one day; magic underwear is eternal.”
Steve C is on a roll!
” I’ve decided to decline the nomination and throw my support to Herman Cain.”
” Mother Jones is the “Bain” of my existence. Heh! Heh!. See I’m human!
I can make a bad joke just like my buddy Clint!”
“Yes, yes its true; white men can’t jump.”
” This has ben a very taxing day. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been taxed this much.”
“Jeez. With 250 million bucks you’d think I could get screwed by somebody besides “Mother Jones”.
Mitt, “I’ve decided to decline the nomination and throw my support to Lulli Akin.”
http://tinyurl.com/9kmjvn9
I told Steve that we should have hired The Tabernacle Choir to sing “America The Beautiful” but he insisted I could do it cheaper.
There once was a candidate named Mitt
Who really was quite a twit
When he opened his mouth
His campaign went south
And the rethugs all pitched quite a fit
Yes, yes its true; white men can’t jump.”
Comment by Steve C — September 18, 2012 @ 9:08 pm
“nor can they dance.”
“Turns out the invisible guy in Clint’s was chair was really my campaign manager.“
“What can I tell you guys; suz is a delusional fool for insisting I’d win in a landslide.”
from the Mittster….
“geeze steve c, does dano pay you piece-work? at least when I got paid piece-work, quality mattered as well. ohhh, now I get it! quality posts don’t matter to libs…it’s volumn which counts”!
“speaking of that 47 percent, I know not too many of’em can figure out how to get to the polls, so heck, they can go eat cake”!
“you know, when I get the other 53%, and we take control of the senate and increase our hold on the house, well, golly, that’ll be a sunny good day for America! Then we slash and burn the tax loop holes, slash and burn those who attack our soverign property and citizens abroad, and slash and burn the energy generation policies of the EPA, and slash and burn the job-killing policies of the OBAMA administration! Great day in the morning, I’m looking forward to ALL of that! and, the only downside to that good day is that the libs will benefit as well, but heck, I think all Americans should prosper, even those that are blinded by government largess and misguided by soothsayers, and support the palestinians”.
I just don’t understand why you freeloqders don’t take control of your lives. Heck, just go borrow somwe money from your parents , buy a house,
and become a vulture capitalist. If I can do it, anybody can.
Suz is a delusional fool on an encyclopedia of topics..
dont feel particularly honored SC..
I say, Lovey, be a dear and help me choose something to read…
Let’s see, “Little Women”, “Valley of the Dollars”, “Diary of Ain’t Frank”, hmmm…
…Or there’s also “Tuesdays With Tory”, “Little House On The Private Island”, “Rich Men Will Own Mars, Women Inconvenience”, “Fifty Trades A Day”, “The Hitchhikers Guide To The Swiss Banking System”, “The Hunger Games”, “Yen and The Art of Foreign Account Maintenance”, “Lying For The Lord Of The Flies”, “The Joy Of Cooking The Books”, “Sophistry’s Choice”…
Or maybe the classic Greek tea party writers Hypocryties and Testicles?
Oh, I know! How about the latest revision of my autobiography, the one written by that blah fellow Santorum recommended that I hire. What was his name? Booka Teaparty Washington, that’s it!…Yes, here it is: “Up From Privilege: the Thurston Howell The Fourth Story”.
Splendid!!!
““Yen and The Art of Foreign Account Maintenance””
You’re killing me here. Very few people know what this is.
Have you seen my sex tape? That’s the one where I screw my campaign.
When I repeal Obamacare, I’m going to replqace it with common sense health care reform. One of our major problems is inadequate health care for men. I will require all private insurers to provide free circumsision
for all men. And for my Jewish brthren, I will guarqntee that funds for free circumsision will be included in my aid package for Israel. (That should sew up the Jewish vote).
“I’ve been called a sneering plutocrat, Thurston Howell the fourth, and so on. And let me tell you, it doesn’t bother me at all. It’s impossible to sneer too hard at shiftless, lazy senior citizens, disabled veterans and working idiots who aren’t paying any federal income taxes because their earnings are too low. They deserve a lot worse than sneers, and let me tell you, when you elect me president, they’re going to get it!
First, I’m going to tax their no-good asses. I’m going to raise federal income taxes to 60 percent of the first $10,000 of income, and there won’t be any tax on incomes over $100,000. You know what that will do? It’ll encourage those slobs to go at and work and earn MORE so they’ll move into those higher untaxed brackets. I call this ‘Mitt’s Tough-Love Approach to Taxation.”
“You people are keeping me from fulfilling my Morman destiny.”
“Good luck putting words in my mouth…it’s already full of my foot”
“You know that big lead Pres. Obama has??” “I built that!!”
Let Rmoney speak for himself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Vr842TpBWE
That’s some nice values you claim to share with Jesus there, Mitt!!!