Tuesday’s column: Eating disorders can take a toll on any family
Erin Casey, 22 | From Facebook
Usually when this column mentions my family, it’s in a wisecracking context. But we all know family life isn’t always a laugh riot. Much of the past stress-filled two years in the Casey household makes for a good example.
Our daughter Erin, the second-oldest of four, developed some serious mental health issues. She has a type of bipolar disorder.
Not too many months ago, she was calling me and my wife, Donna, multiple times a day, despairing that she wanted to die. Words can’t describe how helpless that leaves you feeling as a parent.
Three times Erin, now 22, was hospitalized so she wouldn’t take her own life. She also has an eating disorder, and for that she spent three weeks in a psychiatric program in Arizona last summer.
The good news is Erin is now being treated by a psychiatrist at Carilion Clinic, Dr. David Hartman. He’s been able to help her in ways other psychiatrists could not. She’s back in school full time as a senior at James Madison University, where she’s thriving.
Erin’s also taking what she’s learned through this ordeal and is trying to help others. And that’s the short story behind an event she’s organizing here in the Roanoke Valley next month. It’s a program called “Where I Stand” on Oct.27 at Andrew Lewis Middle School in Salem.
READ THE REST OF THIS COLUMN HERE.
September 18, 2012 - 6:00 AM
My heart goes out to you and your family, Dan. I have seen other families experience this.
We should not overlook the power of prayer in dealing with agonizing situations such as these. I will include Erin in mine.
Dan, you must be very proud of Erin.
What a nice way to start my day. Thanks for sharing.
We have some experience with Dr. Hartman as well, apparently the only PDoc in town worth his salt. The mental health system in this country is a cruel joke. Nice that you were able to afford 3 weeks of inpatient treatment out of state, that’s unattainable for most people. Best wishes to your daughter.
Oh Dan, I know it is of little comfort to your family or Erin, but millions of families are in your shoes. You are so lucky to have found a good doctor that Erin can connect with. So many are not so lucky. I have been through a diagnosis of Bi-Polar with a family member and it is hell on earth sometimes. We call it our “Twilight Zone” because it feels like another dimension.
Best of Luck to Erin and to your family. You know the expression, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”. I agree, but it is a lesson I would give anything not to have had.
On the bright side, once you know what you are dealing with and have a good doctor, the prognosis can be very good and a wonderful life is very, very possible. You all hang in there and tell Erin she is brave to share her story and I know she will help others!
Beautiful picture and a beautiful girl!
Sweet brave girl. This must have been incredibly difficult for you and Donna, Dan. Best wishes for her continued health and well-being.
I know Dr. Hartman’s wife and she is a dynamo (She participated in the Voices of the Valleys when the paper carried that forum), brilliant and a wonderful woman in her own right. They are a great couple.
Then quit stuffing your fat face, Casey! How such an idiot can be paid to post this blog is beyond me. Do you use a pencil to type? If your hands as obese as your face, you’d have to. Not to worry, Burger King has a great big ol hb and greasy fries waiting for you, enjoy, Larda**!
You all know that Dan is a great writer. Now you get a glimpse into what a great father he is.(and Donna is a great mother)
Hard to fathom how such a great guy wound up becoming a liberal. But I’m not giving up trying to lead him out of the “progressive” darkness into the light of conservatism.
Dan
Thanks for sharing this personal story. My obervations over many years, including in my own family, convince me that mental health issues including bipolar disorder and depression are the most crippling, difficult to deal with, and devastating issues families can face. And there are far more families facing and dealing with those problems than
most people realize or are willing to admit. The”stigma”that has long been attached to people with mental disorders has often led to an unwillingness to admit or face the problems, which then often go untreqted with tragic consequences. Good for you and your wife for sticking with your daughter and good for her for turning the corner and creating a positive out of a bad situation.
Very proud of your daughter for putting that together Dan. People who don’t deal with mental illness or haven’t had to deal with it don’t understand just how life changing it can be for the whole family.
Dan (and also Erin),
Thanks for your openness and willingness to share a piece of your lives. This is an area that still carries much stigma and it is only by being open with others that the stigma can be put to rest once and for all.
Mental Health is a vital issue for public discussion. As a Mental Health nurse with Carilion Clinic and as someone who works daily to manage my own Bipolar disorder, I commend you for having the courage to be open about this in such a public way.
I would like to very seriously and honestly extend my hand to you both. If there is anyway that I can help in your goal of public education and awareness, please do not hesitate to contact me. I would gladly make myself available to you to assist in any way that I can. This is an area that is very near to my heart as a person with mental health issues and also as a nurse.
Sincerely,
Bill Potter
Dan, please tell Erin thank you for sharing her story. I wish your daughter and your family the best and hope that Erin continues to triumph!
Best wishes Dan for you and yours. I also read the blogspot site referenced above in the flyer and commend her on her faith in God and religious outlook on the situation.
May God be with you both.
Dan, having just come from the doctor’s office with my daughter due to an eating disorder (our first appointment was last week), and facing this issues (in part) ourselves…the timing of this is nothing short of miraculous for me. I appreciate your candor, I’m so happy for your daughter (and your family) and I think the event sounds amazing. (Weirdly enough, my daughter is also a dancer/singer) The great news today is that we’re on the right path, my daughter gained 4 pounds over the course of the week and her blood pressure is now normal again.
But I understand much of what you’re going through as I am in a very similar situation. My very best wishes for Erin’s continued recovery and self-redefinition. And I hope your heart is healing up because I know it’s been broken just as mine has been.
Best wishes to Erin, and how wonderful that she wants to help others. So glad she found a Dr. who’s able to help her.
Terps – you’re right my dad is a great dad but you can pretty much give up on trying to get him to become conservative… Never gonna happen.
Thanks for the encouragement and support everyone!
Dan and Erin,
I admire your courage and your openness. Thank you both for sharing your stories.
I was thrilled to read your column, NOT because I get a kick out of pain and suffering, but because it’s a subject not often discussed in private, much less in a public forum. I feel your pain as a parent. My son, yes my son, has battled an eating disorder for six years now. It’s been a living hell for him and his family, as it affects everyone around him. He’s an intelligent, loving, caring young man (soon to be 21) with so many gifts to give, but his eating disorder has become larger than his life and is literally robbing him of joy and a future. He is so lost in the darkness of it all. Like your daughter, he’s been in and out of counseling, hospitalization, medicated, etc. It’s a different world when dealing with eating disorders and males. Most in-patient facilities are set up to treat females, not males, and certainly not adult males. And, mental health providers who specialize in eating disorders is practically nil in the Valley, then complicate that with one that treats males. And, the cost of any type of in-patient treatment is unreal, but what price tag do you put on the lives of the ones we love. There isn’t a price. You do what it takes, regardless. My daughters (his older sisters) and I will be at the Where I Stand program. I’m so very proud of your beautiful Erin for overcoming this disease and taking something bad and making it good for others! Over the years, I’ve connected with a wonderful young man who battled an eating disorder and did what Erin’s doing and that is doing good for others. Patrick Bergstrom is his name. His organization, I Choose To Live, is fantastic. Facebook “I Choose To Live.” It’s filled with such encouragement for all who battled this disease. Way to go, Erin!!! I will continue to cheer for you, for your continued recovery and progress! Blessings to you all!
Linda K – I’ve exchanged emails with Patrick Bergstrom. I love “I choose to Live” It was my freshman year of college I think. A really good friend of mine lost her brother to an eating disorder in 2009. She talked a lot about the lack of help available to men. Mental Health treatment in general is more difficult for men because of societal pressures and stigma, especially so with Eating Disorders. I do know that John Hopkins inpatient takes adult males, if you are looking – and I know people who have had success with their program. I’m thrilled you are coming to Where I Stand:)
For those who didn’t see Katie couric’s show last Thursday.
http://www.katiecouric.com/on-the-show/2012/09/13/daring-greatly/
This thread has restored my faith in our collective humanity. I am sure if we looked into the life of each of the posters on Dan’s blog, we would find many trials and tribulations and the courage that was necessary in overcoming them. Heartache does not care if you are a Democrat or Republican, right, left or in between.
It is inspiring to see that even with those we disagree – we can still come together to admire Dan’s and his family’s strength during what was certainly an overwhelmingly stressful situation. Erin is my hero – not only because of her courage in battling the roller coaster called bi-polar, but in the bravery it takes to speak out.
I wish nothing but the best for the Casey family as they move forward – as well as the rest of the posters who have shared their stories.
Dan and Erin, this is a wonderful story of a family working together to overcome adversity. The Casey family showed us how to do it. Never give up!
Terrific story and I feel certain it wasn’t necessarily an easy one to write. Bravo to your daughter for acknowledging that she needed help and, most of all, to you and your wife for being there for her. Wouldn’t it be great if all kids had parents with such strength and commitment!
Great article and so glad you were able to share with the community. If you can get a copy of “White Coat, White Cane,” the story of Dr. Hartman’s young life and the trying times he has faced, it’s certainly worth the read. You were very fortunate to have found someone who could give assistance to you and your family when it was needed.
Erin – thank you for your response! Yes, Patrick has been a wealth of information and inspiration to me. Patrick has offered to come to Roanoke to meet with my son and just talk to him. My son checks out his facebook page but has yet to agree to any type of meeting. Patrick is in Baltimore so I’m hoping that my son will agree to go with me up there to visit the area and meet Patrick. It’s so heartbreaking to me to sit by, what seems to me “idly by” and just watch this slowly consume him. It comes and goes but never goes totally. It’s a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs but mostly downs. I talked to his counselor yesterday and suggested making contact with Dr. Hartman. She said she thought that would be fine. Now, I must approach my son to see if he’s willing. Prayers and fingers crossed that he will. I will try to introduce myself to you on the 27th and give you a “motherly” hug! Take care and keep on keeping on!
#26 Good to hear from you, Linda. I’ll be hoping for the best for you and your son.
Good Luck to you and your son as well Linda K! It is a hard road, but it can be done and you can come out the other side closer and happier. Godspeed!
My friends without kids cringe at the thought of diaper changing, potty training, and midnight feedings. It’s tough to explain to them that that’s the easiest it gets.
And, Erin, I sent your dad a private email that he’s welcome to share with you, but keep it up! I know that being public about something intensely personal can be difficult but it can have its rewards. Congrats!
Erin please know that by coming forward you are helping so many people and families that do not have the ability to do so, who are thinking they are alone and no one understands. You are shedding light and spreading information, ALWAYS a good thing. Be proud that you are helping others as you heal yourself. It is true that we often come back stronger in the broken places!
Dan, my heart aches for you, my friend. There is nothing harder on the soul than worrying about a child. 25 years ago my brother decided he didn’t want to live anymore and took his own life. The hardest part of it all was watching the hearts of my mother and father totally and completely break. Parents are not suppose to outlive their children.
I am happy that your family has avoided catastrophe and are getting the help she needs. Keep her close and be thankful for her every day.
There is a lot of healing in helping other people and it sounds like she wants to do both.
Linda – I Look forward to your hug!
And many thanks to everyone who has shared encouraging words. Recovery is the hardest thing I’ve ever done (and still is). But reaching out, speaking out and sharing with others is tremendously healing. I look forward to telling my story in my words as the open to Where I Stand Roanoke, and I hope to see you all there!
Erin, You GO girl!