Guest post: Crime of the century? . . .
Or most ‘out there’ conspiracy theory since JFK’s assassination?
Note from Dan: The essay below is from Smith Mountain Lake-area real estate broker Dave Gresham. The views are his; the subhed above is mine.
By Dave Gresham
There are tens of thousands of steel framed skyscrapers throughout the world. Not once have any of them collapsed without the use of explosives – until Sept. 11, 2001 . . . according to our government.
And on that amazing first time in history, not just one, but three of them crumbled!
In addition, if that is not astounding enough, all three went down as straight as arrows, with zero toppling whatsoever. In other words, they literally collapsed into their own footprints!
Moreover, and this is astonishing to the point of miraculous, all three buildings fell close to, or in actual fact, at the speed of gravity! This means free-falling, with no resistance from the steel structure under them – and no resistance from the steel structure woven into them!
Hmm…
What really happened?
The so-called investigation by our government says it was the result of fires, but the blazes were all quite small. On the other hand, explosives fit the evidence perfectly. Every floor, in every building, shattered one after the other, with precision robotic timing, and then fell with perfect symmetry, without any jagged breakage between the floors as they collapsed. Nor was there any jagged breakage on any of the sides as they crumbled. In the construction business they call such a thing controlled demolition, which is exactly what happened that day – to all three buildings!
At this point I need to digress a moment . . . Here’s a simplistic analogy: If 100 people each own 1% of the 100 largest military-industrial conglomerates, then 100 people own everything. Mainstream media, which the wealthy also own, implies that anyone who questions “official” government explanations is crazy. This intimidates most critics from speaking up and keeps the bulk of the sheeple from actually thinking.
But intelligent people know those “news” outlets are nothing more than the public relations departments of those corporations and their moguls – who in turn control our government. Are you aware that just 400 people own as much as 50% of the world’s population? And these new-age monarchs control virtual armies of sycophants, who work to ensure their benefactor’s continued financial supremacy, and to make sure the masses toil away their lives for the barest minimums, which makes such affluence possible.
The reality is that the super-rich have conquered democracy with mutant capitalism. One look at our Congress is all the evidence needed, for our high officials are dependent on multimillionaire and billionaire sponsors for the cost of their elections, basically purchasing their esteemed positions. The result is that democratic leaders have become mere spokesmodels for the interests of world’s financial elite, while the military enforces their monopolistic designs.
The United States has a long history of falsifying information or provoking other nations in order to justify going to war. (For example, the Gulf of Tonkin incident, which we manufactured in order to start the Vietnam War.) Our government has wanted a say in the business and politics of the Middle East for a long time – and now we have it. This is thanks to manipulating public support for the conquest of those lands, achieved by blaming 9/11 on “terrorists” and then transferring the guilt to an entire region and religion.
In fact, for the first time in history, zealots of the Christian and Jewish religions are in complete agreement, having been herded by wicked shepherds to support attacking any Islamic country. But they are both just as sick as Islam, as all three of them shamefully pretend to speak for god. (Everyone has access to the spirit of God, much better described as the spirit of love and reason, which communicates with all of us at the highest level each of us is able to understand. No intermediaries are necessary.)
I know that many citizens have great difficulty believing our highest government officials and military leaders could have had a hand in something so evil, but we’ve been doing such things for a century, and the evidence of our complicity on 9/11 is overwhelming. The only question is to what degree our involvement extends…
The official story behind the events of that day is impossible!
Consider some of the facts and unanswered questions…
Beforehand
- The skyscrapers were built to withstand airplane crashes;
- The skyscrapers were built to withstand raging infernos;
- New shell companies became WTC tenants in preceding months;
- Abnormal increase of new faces working night shifts;
- Months of private maintenance work in elevator shafts;
- Several complete facility “power downs” in the preceding weeks;
- Osama Bin Laden was a CIA operative;
- Bush and Bin Laden families have been friends for decades;
- Bush’s father, also a President, was former head of the CIA;
- Bush’s brother and cousin were officers of the WTC security company;
- PNAC wanted “New Pearl Harbor” to mobilize nation for imperialism.
At That Time
- Air traffic controller alerts were stalled by officials;
- NORAD was told to stand down when planes deviated off course;
- Bush socialized 25 minutes after 2nd plane hit. (Why do nothing?);
- Cheney was in emergency command center when first plane hit;
- Nano-thermite (high-tech explosive) residue was everywhere;
- Witnesses heard explosions on all the floors, even basements;
- Fires in all 3 buildings miniscule compared to construction standards;
- Jet fuel and office fires burn 1,000 degrees cooler than molten steel;
- Hot steel doesn’t shatter, it bends;
- Many of the alleged hijackers are living in the Middle East;
- New insurance policies on World Trade Center paid out billions;
- Airline stocks were ten to one in favor of “put” versus “call” orders;
- Planes made maneuvers that novice pilots could not perform;
- WTC building 7 housed clandestine CIA offices.
Afterwards
- No evidence of attack by any Muslim country;
- The “terrorists” were Saudis but Iraq was declared guilty (the next day);
- Airplane black boxes failed or were not recovered – all 8 of them;
- Government has classified over 3,000 files;
- Government falsified results in its sham investigation;
- Bin Laden’s family members flown out of U.S. on 9/12 w/o questioning;
- President and Vice President refused to testify under oath;
- President and Vice President refused to testify separately;
- President and Vice President refused to testify publically;
- President and Vice President’s testimony is sealed;
- Debris shipped to Asian scrap companies before investigation;
- Molten steel in lower levels, 80 stories below fires and 2 weeks after;
- Millions in airline stock trade profits went uncollected (fear of inquiry);
- Kuwaiti gold missing from vaults under WTC 1 & 2;
- Key people surrounding the events have died suspiciously;
- Wikipedia write-ups are repeatedly ghost edited to be neutered.
The problem so many citizens have is that they simply cannot envision any of their leaders being that wicked – because they would never do such a thing themselves. But do people become billionaires making 200,000 times more per year than some of their employees (equal human beings) because they care about others?
And they are the ones who install our leaders, who are required to do their master’s bidding or they can never reach higher offices in the first place. Same thing goes for high ranking military officials – they either support the status quo at all times or their career advancement stops.
Maintaining and expanding our corporate empire is our military’s primary function. Major General Smedley Butler, the most decorated Marine in history, was right about our wicked leadership and corporate overlords, and that was 70 years ago!
Consider the results of 9/11. . .
- The United States increasingly controls Middle East oil;
- The United States increasingly influences Middle East politics;
- The United States and Israel increasingly alter Middle East culture;
- Radical Zionism has increased its power in Israel;
- CIA conducting covert operations in dozens of Islamic countries;
- Habeas Corpus and parts of our Bill of Rights revoked by Patriot Act;
- Constitution itself essentially revoked by Patriot Act;
- Citizen tracking from cradle to grave, including all computer activity;
- Our government now assassinates citizens without trials, or hearings;
- Life prison sentences without trial or hearing;
- Torture and rendering legalized;
- Police state laws are proliferating.
Most wealthy people are delighted to see these changes, since they view common folks as things to be controlled and used like equipment. Like the royalty of days gone by, these kind of people are expert at taking advantage of others – using brute force when they can get away with it, and when they can’t, their every kindness is weighed against the probability of an excess return.
And sadly, for the first time since the Reformation, they are reversing the gains of the common man in the western nations. The kings and queens of yesterday have been replaced by billionaires, whose dynasties also go on for generations.
This concludes my random thoughts on the crime of 9/11, which the rich and their minions say never happened. There are dozens of other points and unanswered questions, as well, but I skipped them in the interest of brevity, as this article was not intended to be an exhaustive discussion. This is just a quick list of things to consider for those who are unfamiliar with the topic.
Who can say whether or not we will ever know the truth in this lifetime, though I’m sure a higher power will sort out the cosmic arithmetic eventually – in this age or the next. But one thing is certain: We have not been told the truth by our government!
The crime of the century was our own doing, at least in part. Perhaps our top intelligence officials even authored the plan from start to finish. But at a minimum, 9/11 was facilitated and then covered up by the secret services that make our country the world’s defacto ruler.
It is not without reason that we have over 1,000 military bases, installations, and information gathering offices in every corner of the globe, or that we spend over 55% of our annual budget on the military. Would you spend more than half your money on something and never use it?
If your interest is piqued, then please watch a stunning video about 9/11, which was done by AE911Truth.org several years ago and is hosted by Ed Asner. (It runs a short 15 minutes.) They are a group of architects and engineers calling for a genuine investigation of the events of that day. I urge you to invest just a few more minutes to watch this enlightening commentary. Here is the link.





This is what I’m going with. Or most ‘out there’ conspiracy theory since JFK’s assassination?
I have no more time to devote to such utter nonsense.
“out there”? Open your mind, Dan. The evidence is in front of your eyes. And if you believe Oswald killed JFK, I’m really getting disturbed with you.
This would have been a monument effort requiring hundreds if. Nit thousands of co-conspirators and dozens of government agencies. All of whom would have had to keep silent for the last 11 years. It seems unlikely.
I need to get my realtor’s license.
I realize the real estate biz has been brutally slow. I suppose this is a prime example of what can happen if one has way to much free time.
Mr. Gresham, for your next project, I suggest you delve into the theory that Barack Obama used low grade nuclear weapons to create hurricane Sandy so that he could look presidential a week before the election. Or, perhaps you can get a part time job to fill some of those long daytime hours.
Great job, Dave! I just hope, Frank, is sober for this one…
Dave, I appreciate the time, research and thought you put into this missive. However, I have to be honest and say that I think this was a terrorist attack. I think it hurts American egos to consider that this could’ve happened to us. I know you are thinking that I’m just ignoring facts. I think that you are ignoring coincidence and possibility.
We will just agree to disagree about this.
Monumental…if not…need to not post before coffee.
I agree – it’s Bush’s fault!!
Is this the “Dave” who is always on here? Im sorry I totally disagree with this. I’m disappointed. I guess we never landed on the moon. This is total BS..
Scott Whitaker,
There are different regulars on this blog with the name Dave.
There’s little d “dave”
Big D Dave
Dave Hicks
and Dave Gresham.
They’re all different Daves.
I’m with Kristin. I deeply doubt the possibility of such a conspiracy because it would have had to have involved far too many people, and not all them would be able to keep their traps shut. Questions are not evidence, nor are lack of answers to them.
Dave John Gresham aka John Grisham.
Judge Mr Gresham any way you’d like folks. But I urge all of you to look up and watch the documentary produced by Colorado Public Television and aired on August 28th of this year. There are many highly respected, well credentialed experts in their fields that raise a lot of thought provoking questions about that day and the official investigation that followed. Take the 90 minutes to watch it some time and draw your own opinions on it. But I warn you, if you’re one of those Americans that swallowed the entire 9/11 Commission’s report on what “really” happened that day (as I once was), watching that documentary felt like a kick in the gut. I urge you all to have a look.
Wow, Dave has way too much free time on his hands. 9-11 was not a conspiracy by the United States. It was a terrorist attack. For once, I am probably in agreement with Kristen and Dan.
Theses are the Daves I know:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF1chLj1fro
Nice story Gresham! What’s next? Katrina hit N.O. because our government put large wind turbines in the atmosphere to make it turn north towards Louisiana?
Ill have to say, it takes a whole lot more FAITH for Gresham and Justin True to believe in that crap than it does to believe in God! Ill give it to you..you both have more FAITH than I have in a lot of ways.
Where is Kevin Myatt when you need him?
Dave,
You should team up with Michael Moore, or have you already done so?
I can see this as the next blockbuster movie. You’ll become a hero and receive a Nobel Prize and be ranked right up there with Al Gore and Obama!
The possibilities are unlimited in the world today. This is your calling!
Huntersdad, do I think that we know everything there is to be known about what happened that day? No, I don’t. But it’s a mighty huge leap from there to “it was an inside job”. Granted, nature hates a vacuum and the holes in our understanding of 9/11 invite conspiracy theorists to fill them.
I’d also say that 9/11 represents absolute maximum return for relatively little investment. Also something unheard of in the Bush/Cheney era.
The loons on the left have moved beyond wealth redistribution and are now focusing on conspiracy theories. Well this is one of the few places on earth where they are not laughed out of the room.
Kristen, I agree with you and Dan that unanswered questions are not evidence, and I didn’t let that documentary turn me into an all out conspiracy believer either. But after watching it, some of the questions it raised prompted me to call a good friend of mine who I had been laughing at for several years over such beliefs and apologize for calling him a kook for buying into any of it. The documentary did convince me however that the American public was fed a bunch of BS that goes against known science in physics, architecture, engineering and other fields that we bought hook line and sinker. Again though, all questions and no answers.
#16 Dave’s not here.
Dave, I would hate to think that our government would commit such an egregious act against its citizenry.
On the other hand. We do not have a single news outlet that I know of in the US doing honest investigative, unbiased reporting these days IMO. So you do have a point in my opinion.
In other words, I will take a look at the links you have provided with an open mind and consider the evidence presented to see if it passes my “smell test.”
I watched the towers fall live that day and I was shocked that the towers did fall in what seemed to be a controlled manner. Anyway, you know its a tough crowd in this blog, hang in there John.
Like the lady who was all sorts of bent out of shape after watching “Chasing Ice”, I can see the appeal in believing in things unexplained and hard to digest being a “conspiracy” and the cause of a lot of angst.
http://boingboing.net/2012/11/28/bill-oreilly-watching-climat.html
I freely admit I cannot answer every question I have much less those of others and the conspiracy theories and “more to the story” tales can be convincing to anyone skeptical of the veracity of our investigative forces from the NYPD to the CIA, FBI and Homeland Security. I do not “buy it” but I can certainly see why some people would. There are mysteries involved.
Like the “6 Degrees of Separation” I think you can make a mountain out of a molehill, so why not a conspiracy out of such a tragic and weird event?
I work for one of the airlines that lost two airplanes
that day. And was there on the morning of 9-11.
These 757-s would have had over 10,000 gallons/70,000 lbs of fuel in their tanks.
That fuel slowly burning and scattered out on the upper floors
of the WTC would not have had to melt anything.
The weakening from the impact plus the expansion and softening of
joints and rivets would likely have expanded the structure outward
enough that it lost its ability and integrity to hold the upper concrete floors in place. Once the first few floors collapsed the still semi-rigid skeleton contained the floors and guided their pancake-like collapse to the bottom. No Dave, this conjecture doesnt come close to passing any sort of smell test.
Conspiracy theories are just tools for coping by people who aren’t mentally capable of processing the tragedy and truth of a situation.
The larger the tragedy or inability to believe the truth, the larger the conspiracy.
See 9/11 Conspiracy
followed by Roswell, Landing on the Moon, JFK, etc..
It’s just a form of Mental Illness.
@#14 Huntersdad Thanks for the support from you (and a couple others). I felt the same way the first time I watched the documentary. I watched it around midnight and was so shook I couldn’t fall asleep until after sunrise. It was heartbreaking to realize our beloved country had stooped so low.
Many people here can’t bear to even consider our nation would do such a thing, some even commenting without watching the video (which is the main point of my post).
If I can find the time and energy, maybe I’ll sit down and write about Donald Rumsfeld in Roanoke (last February), which might be an interesting anecdotal story. Scary guy… literally believes it’s our God given right to run the world. And he smiles broadly when he talks of all the Middle Easterners we have killed! (Psychopath, like Cheney.)
#21 Just NOW moving into this conspiracy theory, terps? This stuff has been around for years and years. And hardly anybody on the left believes it.
Look, fellow, I know its tough going through all the embarrassment you’ve suffered lately, plus that big hit on your bank account to take Dan out to lunch, but you don’t have to just make up crap to try to get back at us. Your Repubs are already inventing enough things, pretending that the election was somehow a mandate for their view of things.
Dave, I don’t entertain any fantasies that we don’t have people who might dream of engineering this sort of catastrophe for personal gain. I just don’t think we have enough people with the juice to get it done, or the sense to STFU about it when it was over.
I agree that Rumsfeld and Cheney are psychopaths. I just doubt their ability to round up enough like minded psychopaths to execute 9/11.
terps conveniently forgets that our most prolific conspiracy theorist on here is a RFWnut.
I must admit, I have always wondered why, if on any given day it was not uncommon to have upwards of 100,000 people inside the twin towers building, there were fewer than 20,000 people there on that day and why only 3,000 people died.
Just seems odd.
Dan, thanks for the clarification, thought it was small dave. I was disillusioned at first. I just feel sorry for this guy. This conspiracy theory has been debunked many times. And the best answer is Kristen’s. No way our government could coordinate it so well and then keep it quiet for over 10 years…
Kristen,
Ok I see you are not convinced…
Try this:
maybe all those killed on 9-11 were (unwittingly); sent to the towers, and a certain part of the pentagon, and given free tickets on the plane in PA; because “they” were the ones that secretly planted the demolition devices; thereby getting rid of all potential “witnesses” in one fell swoop while Cheney pushed the demo button from a “secure location”.
And…
As we know, “man” can change the climate (think global warming) so Bush/Cheney figured out the precise timing for these events to insure that the “ripple effect” would (years later) send “Katrina” directly into New Orleans (killing black folks of course) and setting up a global effect thereby sending “Sandy” into NY (to kill white folks) and create the opportunity for “rich folks” acquire waterfront property at pennies on the dollar so that the Bush/Cheney legacy’s could (at a time TBD) could finance a complete takeover of the “entire world”.
All this makes sense, particularly when combined with Dan’s link (http://globalpossibilities.org/why-anonymous-claims-about-election-rigging-cant-be-ignored-20-november-2012/) suggesting that all R’s who have won the presidency since 1968 are traitors and “stole” the elections.
The only thing I have yet to figure out, and I should work with “Justin True” on this (as he does fancy himself omniscient) is how a “stupid” Texan could pull off such a meticulously planned operation and not be able to “steal” the Clinton elections, or, the past two elections??? (or, was that all a ruse to an ultimate end?)
Surely we will ultimately find the facts that those great thinkers, like JT and Dave have set our sights toward.
It’s fascinating how some of you are commenting without watching the video! What are you afraid of? Watch it. Our government lied to us.
And it’s nothing new, either. Our government has been killing for corporations for a century. Google the name: “Smedley Butler”. He was the most decorated marine in history in his day. He blew the whistle back in the 30′s and 40′s.
Dave Gresham, you’re welcome. But if I hadn’t stumbled across that PBS documentary earlier this year I would have probably put you in the same category as my buddy I had to apologize too. The documentary also makes a few good points about how hard it is for us as Americans and as human beings to deal with the notion that the leaders of this country at the worst may have had a hand in it from the inside. I am still skeptical of that due to the number of people that would have to be silenced on the matter, but the questions raised in the documentary in the fields of architecture, engineering, metallurgy and demolition made me realize, for one reason or the other, that the US government has not been completely honest with the public on all the facts of 9/11.
No mention of the plane that crashed into the Pentagon or the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania (headed for the Capital oe White House, can’t remember which). Was an attack on major military and political targets part of this conspiracy?
Kristen has it right, I think, as it would be truly monumental for a conspiracy of this depth to stay under the radar. And Joe, thanks for a little reason injected into the engineering of the WTC collapse.
It is very difficult to process a horrific disaster of this magnitude, especially something that is a deliberate act of terror. Such theories don’t help, in my opinion.
Lynda K ..
Its pretty simple..
The first impact was just a few minutes
after 9am…Not everyone had gotten into
the WTC..Those that died were of course mostly
on the floors directly impacted.
There was a good bit of time to evacuate the lower floors
before each tower came down.
I find it interesting to note that some people believe the supposed 1500 Architects who claim WTC7 could not have been brought down by fires according to their expertise, yet no amount of scientists can convince most of these same people that climate change and man’s contribution to it is real…
Forth Mike, Pistol Pete, another Chuck, Terps and Mike O,
While I might not agree with Dave’s post, 95% of what he shares on this blog is eloquent, insightful and well-reasoned. Everyone is entitled to their particular brand of snake oil but I don’t think I’d like the taste of yours, either.
I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Gresham in person and I know for a fact that in addition to being passionate about certain subjects he’s a reasonable and kind hearted guy and a hell of a Dad; his opinion is no less of a fairy tale than the dopey nonsense you clowns collectively post here and at least Dave doesn’t butcher the native tongue like you knuckle heads usually do.
What Steve C said.
Dave Gresham didn’t persuade me with this column. Having said that, it’s well-written, passionate, and I like and respect Dave.
Well said, Steve C. Butchery of the written word often obscures the writer’s true message.
Dave Gresham and Dan Casey,
You must be the pied pipers of the fruitcake brigade.
I will agree it is very well written, cogent and like the videos, there are points to be made and explanations that we can at least see and judge for ourselves. Until that day, I had no earthly idea buildings that seemed so structurally well built could crumble like that without pretty massive and strategically placed demolition explosives. The videos are all over YouTube and they do look like those towers collapsing.
Having lived through Nixon and read about Operation Northwoods, reading “Charlie Wilson’s War” and “Reluctant Spy: My Secret Life in the CIA’s War on Terror” (a book from Dan’s bookshelf!), I can most certainly believe people way on up the power chain will lie, cheat, steal and commit treason in service to an idea.
While I do not swallow this “conspiracy” to their extreme, I know it is not in the government’s interest to admit such an extensive terror conspiracy, nor to covering it up or not uncovering it in the first place.
Billy Graham’s antisemitic remarks and “The Selling of the President” made me know, never say never.
In the days and months and years after 9/11, we struggled to make sense of the unthinkable. As Scott pointed out earlier, we develop theories to explain the carnage as a coping mechanism. The US had been generally immune to foreign sponsored terrorist attacks until that point. We needed someone to blame, someone to hold responsible.
Honestly, I think we felt immune to the kinds of attacks much of the rest of the world experienced with some regularity. I felt then – and still feel today – that 9/11
was not preventable. It was conceived and executed by a relatively small group of zealots. Very bad things
happen sometimes that even the most well-prepared, earnest protector cannot forsee or prevent.
Mike, (Fourth Mike) check your email, please.
Thank you for the kind words Steve C and Dan. Please at least watch the 15 minute video though. You may not reach the conclusions I have, but you will see the government is telling lies about what really happened.
And I’ll say it again: Rumsfeld is scary… he loved running the military and it was easy to see he liked giving orders to kill people. He said it is our right to kill anyone, anywhere, including our own citizens (YES, he said THAT), if they are deemed an threat to our way of life (profit), which he specifically noted included if they are merely encouraging others to fight against us. He also noted how proud he is of our highly skilled assassins and the work they are doing for “freedom”. I sat there and listened to him say these things in person.
And all his underlings – who are still at the Pentagon – feel the same way, or they wouldn’t be able to keep their positions. It’s the culture there now.
Our government murders people.
Dave Gresham, on Donald Rumsfeld, I agree with you completely. He and Cheney were truly a frightening duo, and I have no doubt they regularly lied to the American people. History will rightly judge these men and their transgressions harshly.
In my lifetime, The most prolific liars have been Republican Presidents and their administrations: Nixon and Watergate, Reagan and Iran-Contra, GW Bush and Iraq. GHW Bush was, in my belief, an honorable public servant corrupted by the Reagan
Administration. GHWB was the last true moderate to have any role in the Republican Party. Less prolific but no less distasteful were the lies of the LBJ Administration about Viet Nam and President Clinton about his sex life.
My conclusion? The Republican Party has very little respect for the majority of the citizens in this country. Mitt Romney’s campaign did little to convince me otherwise.
Dave, thanks for spurring your contributions to this blog.
Steve C and Dan (and anyone else interested)… One other brief clip about Pentagon culture and Middle Easterners. General Wesley Clark spills the beans. (It’s stunning!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY2DKzastu8
Sorry. The last line of my post should read, “Dave, thanks for your contributions to this blog.”
After reviewing the links. I withhold judgement. However, In regards to Dans comment: that “Questions are not evidence, nor are lack of answers to them.” I say that there are enough questions that we should be looking for the answers. The commissions report smells real bad. IMO.
Why would hundreds of people need to be involved. Why not 1 covert unit of say a couple of dozen under the operation of 1 person wire up the buildings?
Just saying…
Seriously, if they could train to be pilots, is it so hard to imagine people who strap bombs to themselves would know or be able to find out how to plant explosives in a building? How large is the average building demolition crew?
I never discount that there are people easily influenced into any conspiracy, but there are a lot of professional people in those videos with some excellent observations and questions that have not been answered.
pistol pete:
17.”Nice story Gresham! What’s next? Katrina hit N.O. because our government put large wind turbines in the atmosphere to make it turn north towards Louisiana?”
Hahahaha…. or even better – stop me if you’ve heard it – someone told me this talking snake told a naked chick who was made from her boyfriend’s rib to eat a fruit that got them kicked out of a garden they were living in…..
Weird story.
Beam me up Scotty, quick!
There is an epidemic of the digital crud here and it may be extremely contagious. SAVE ME!