By popular demand: The hilarous ‘Post of the Day’
Wikimedia Commons
Note from Dan: This little nugget from Ron May emerged on the Wednesday OPEN thread. It deserves its own.
“As has been my practice for the years I have served here I have a monthly breakfast with some of the retired nuns who live on the grounds of the Ministry Center. This morning I sat next to Sr. Mary who spent her life as a Poor Handmaid teaching in and leading Catholic schools.
Toward the end of her career the school she led was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them; and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally, the principal, Sr. Mary, decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Mary asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
There were no lip prints on the mirror after that.
There are teachers…… And then there are educators!
We need a few more Sr. Mary’s in our schools today.”
February 13, 2013 - 1:08 PM
I already told it to one person, this one is a gem!
I got that joke in an e-mail forward years ago, but not discounting that Dr. May could know the source or that it really happened. Great story and is hilarious!
John,
This one came directly from Sr. Mary this morning. I have not seen the email you mentioned, but perhaps Sr. Mary is the nun referred to in the story. The Sr. Mary I had breakfast with this morning admits being in her “late 80s.” As a Poor Handmaid she would have retired at 75. So, assuming Sr. Mary was telling me the truth, I’m guessing the incident happened in the late 1980s up to the mid 1990s.
In either case, I always enjoy my breakfast with the Poor Handmaids.
As a former Catholic schoolgirl who did the same thing in the 60′s, I wish someone would have taught me that lesson! LMAO!
Catholic schoolgirls . . . and all that repression . . . they always made for exciting dates.
Dan…cue up Billy Joel.
“Catholic schoolgirls . . . and all that repression . . . they always made for exciting dates.”
Dan, the two most “forward” girls I went out with junior high and high school were both Catholic, though they didn’t attend a Catholic school. Heck, one of them wanted us to “go walking in the woods” in 7th grade. And she made it clear that walking wasn’t really what she had in mind. I just wanted to go to a sock hop and dance. She was WAAAY ahead of me at that age.
“Catholic schoolgirls . . . and all that repression . . . they always made for exciting dates.” Still do!
Hi Ron,
That’s a great story, I can’t wait to pass it along!
Hey, here’s one for ya:
…three soldiers (two males, one female), are out on patrol, and the female says, “I sure hope I won’t be too much of a distraction for you men”, …and one of the men responded, “no, we’re cool, and I was thinking of bringing up the distraction topic as well, with you.” “Oh, you were?”, the female soldier replied.
“Yes,” said the OTHER male soldier, “…’cause …we’re married”.
Elena, Dan, & gdad,
You’ve gone in a direction which may require me if Sr. Mary is willing to get you back on the right road.
What is it with hey frank and the gays? Everybody else is talking about Catholic schools girls and suddenly hey frank starts waving his freak flag and diverting the thread to two guys in a foxhole. It’s like all he ever posts about anymore. Give it a rest and stop trying to play grab-ass!
Franks post reminds me of when little kids go through the “make up their own jokes” phase, and when they say stuff like “The dog ate the….eggplant!” , you have to pretend to laugh uproariously.
I don’t know where you heard or read that joke, Frank, but it’s not even remotely funny. Big ol’ fail.
hey steve c,
why do you have to go right to the gay thing, steve c? think about it for just a pin-head minute. it could have just as reasonably been about the woman…but in reality, it’s poking fun at the military’s dilema. I mean, just what do the soldiers have to talk about while they’re on patrol, ya know? it’s called reality in the military. if you think not, please tell me where i’m off-base. do ya get it? “off-base?” now, it’s on-base. Where is what i said above, as humor, not possible in today’s military?
hey steve c, it’s supposedly better than your guy bill clinton’s “don’t ask don’t tell”, policy, except, if girls were in the military, I bet ol’ bill woulda found his way into a fox-hole with one or two of the ladies…ya think?
i hear he like’s his women young, and in uniform!
You drunk, HayFrank?
Debbie @13
Joke ?? I thought that was hay/hey Frank trying to be serious.
“do ya get it?”
Pretty hard to get something that makes no sense at all.
hi kristen,
No, I’m not drunk. Do you not understand what I said?
Ok, let me explain the deal.
I was poking some good-natured fun at our mostly politically correct military. The example I used is plausible, in my opinion, as women and gays can now openly carry weapons on patrol in dangerous combat zones. And, I think it’s pausible for the subjects I mentioned to come up in “small talk”. Don’t you? If not, please explain why not.
Also, I’m at least half-right on ol’ bill’s preferences, as we KNOW he likes young intern-aged women, and goodness knows it’s not a huge leap of faith to think he’d like a young, uniformed woman or two in a fox hole…with him.
Is it?
hey frank at 9:49,
Try it again in English; I’m not fluent in hey-seedese. But from what little I was able to understand from your virtual diarrhea, your dopey little screed is just more evidence that you have no clue what you’re talking about.
I honorably discharged in 1987. Believe it or not, I served with plenty of gay people. Neither I nor anyone else I served with had a problem with gays. The military is less homophobic than the rest of society. The only “dilemma” is with clue-hounds like you who naturally assume that everyone in the military is an uneducated white redneck or some other farce that people like you can relate to. hey frank, the sad little truth that you can’t wrap your pathetically stunted mind around is that the majority of society would rather have a gay couple as a neighbor than an intellectually stunted half-wit homophobe.
“why do you have to go right to the gay thing, steve c?” hey frank, I refer you back to #9 at 7:42 where everyone else was talking about Catholic schools girls. hey frank, there are bowling balls, ball peen hammers and bags of football bats that don’t abuse common sense and rational thought like you do. Do you ever even read what you posted previously or do you enjoy doing a spot-on imitation of a fool who can’t remember what he posted the earlier in the same day? Take a minute and think about it, hey frank; intimate objects rate higher on the food chain than you do. If you really cared about conservative causes you’d stop droning on like an illiterate half-wit and draining the water out of the republican DNA kiddy pool.
hiya steve c,
Holy cow!
Did you mean, “inanimate” objects, or “intimate” objects, “rank higher in the food chain” than me? Or, did my mention of bill clinton and fox-holes get you thinking of intimate, inanimate objects?
I hope you feel better.
#18 I notice that troll suzie didn’t bother showing up to compliment Frank on this one. Even suzie has its standards.
“…the majority of society would rather have a gay couple as a neighbor than an intellectually stunted half-wit homophobe.”
Yep, Steve C. The gay couple next door to us are perfect neighbors and have upgraded their property tremendously.
Yes, with a nice gay couple, as opposed to a Frank, you can be reasonably sure you won’t end up with a couch on the front porch next door. Or 3 cars in the yard up on blocks.
Looks like I need to get Sr. Mary on the case of several folks on this thread.
No Hey Frank, you are not “poking some good-natured fun”, you are being a boor as always and your brand of humor is the kind that is no longer welcome in polite society. For a very good reason.
And you making fun on anyone else’s typo or spelling errors is just too rich. Your barely coherent and sometimes even hard to decipher posts are full of both.
Grow up Frank. We are not laughing with you.
Ron, that is a great idea!! Get Sr. Mary on here. Anyone that could come up with such creative, effective solutions to discipline for Catholic school girls would add value to this blog!
This “joke” as Frankiepoo calls it has been all over Facebook for weeks now. He probably stumbled upon it when he was at his favorite strip club the other night.
but sandi,
steve c has an mba, he says. sheesh.
haha! this is wonderful!
all i was doing was imagining a plausible conversation in today’s military, vs. one that coulda taken place last year, and you libs are going ballistic!
haha! and, since you can’t attack the “plausible canversation”, you attack me!” Are you serious?
you libs just don’t like the truth, do ya?
“All I was doing was imagining a plausible conversation in today’s military.”
–Frank
Frank, give it a rest. You made a dumb joke, let it go, pal. You’re making it worse now by trying to claim it’s “plausible.” That’s a total crock and you know it. But it doesn’t matter, because you’re not accountable for anything you right here. You’re merely the anonymous Frank on this blog.
Your “conversation” isn’t plausible at all, Frank. It’s just flat out stupid.
I read heyFrank’s joke 3 times before I realized that the male soldiers were supposed to be married to each other. I think. It’s still not funny.
But here’s a riddle heyFrank probably won’t get:
A father and son are in a car wreck. The father dies at the scene. The son is rushed to the hospital for life-saving surgery. The surgeon enters the OR, looks at the patient, and says, “I can’t operate on this patient. He’s my son.”
How can this be?
“A father and son are in a car wreck. The father dies at the scene. The son is rushed to the hospital for life-saving surgery. The surgeon enters the OR, looks at the patient, and says, “I can’t operate on this patient. He’s my son.”
How can this be?”
–Contrsuzie
Oh come on! Surely you aren’t suggesting there are women surgeons, are you? I mean, heck, we don’t even have women in battle infantries yet. How could we possibly have women surgeons?
/snark off
I remember that riddle from an All In The Family episode.
Frank,
Plausible does not equal funny.
One good story deserves another….
My wonderful grandmother, Thelma Frye, has been gone for two decades now. She lived to be 88 years old and her mind was sharp right to the end.
Her body, not so much. During the last few months of her life she became bedridden. She still entertained friends though, and so it was that the minister of her church found his way to visit the bedside of the oldest member of his congregation.
They sat, talked, and caught up with church matters for some time, and every once and while the minister would reach over and grab a few peanuts from the bowl that grama kept next to the bed.
After a wonderful and lengthily discussion, the minister said, “Mrs. Frye, I think I had better leave. If I don’t, I’ll eat every one your peanuts.”
Grama replied “Oh please stay a bit longer. Eat all the peanuts you want. Ever since my teeth got bad I can only suck the chocolate off of’m anyway.”
That’s a good one, Mike Scott!
Your’s was funny! I thought mine was as well. The best whoppers have a sliver of truth…
Please tell me that your Grama also had an large, overly-friendly, and very happy dog… that drank water from Grama’s toilet!
hiya dano,
don’t take it so hard, man. btw, please explain how what i said above IS “plausible”, …isn’t “plausible”.
“don’t take it so hard, man. btw, please explain how what i said above IS “plausible”, …isn’t “plausible”.
–Frank
Because the military doesn’t send soldiers married to each other out out patrol together.
Yours wasn’t funny, HeyFrank. I didn’t even realize it was supposed to be a joke.
yeah, i kinda thought that as well, but went with it anyway.
well, dano, maybe they are not legally married. maybe they are just a “couple”, …and the situation remains the same.
bottom line, it’s plausible, and wouldn’t have been except for the relentlessness march of political correctness.
Mike Scott…lmao
hi Contra,
Good riddle! Too bad ol’ dano just had to swoop on in, within three minutes of posting, and answer the riddle, after using those three minutes to google the answer!
Debbie, that’s one of my grandmother’s favorite jokes and she very well may have gotten it from AITF, as that is one of her favorite shows. She says the joke’s not as fun to tell now as it was then, for obvious reasons. Still a good one, though!
Some favorite dialogue, Edith was cutting Archie’s hair and noticed his bald spot was getting bigger.
Archie: Anyways, (a bald spot) is a sign of brains. You know the old saying, “Grass don’t grow on a busy street”?
Edith: And it don’t grow in cement, neither.
Frank, your “conversation” sounds like lines from a really bad movie or a really bad book.
Frankie, maybe Dan could have waited a few more minutes for the answer but just because you had to google it doesn’t mean Dan did. I’ve heard that riddle since elementary school.
gdad, I wonder if Frank’s head is still spinning at the idea that women are allowed to be surgeons. I mean, Andy of Mayberry never had to come to grips with such a thing, you know?
Frank, please tell me that you don’t seriously believe that someome would have to google the answer to that riddle. It’s the 21st century, Frank!
hey gdad,
i bet you still dream about the Catholic girls from elementary school, too, dontcha gdad? Those were the days for you, eh?
Dan,
Now wait just the darn minute! What are you saying? Are you saying that women can be surgeons now? Huh?
How can they do stuff like that while they’re barefoot and pregnant? Can they do that while chewing gum? What about while talking, huh? Who irons the shirts? Who’s gonna red up the operating rooms? Sheesh!
Good one, Dan.
I think the patients blood will, red up the operating rooms. Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Nah, Frank, I don’t remember being aware of who was and wasn’t Catholic in elementary school so it would be pretty difficult to dream about them. And the girl who wanted to go “walking” in junior high school wasn”t in my elementary school. But she does in fact still live in Roanoke (with her husband) and I talk to her every now and then. TALK.
The “days” for me would be my 33 years with my wife (and the time before while dating her). Something tells me you can’t make a similar claim about any woman you’ve ever met. They probably run away screaming.
haha! that was a good effort, debbie! but, i figured they’d have the porters clean it up!
hi debbie, one more thing! actually, the porters would “red-up” the operating rooms…kinda like cleaning up the kitchen after a woman makes a cherry cheese cake, or spaghetti.