Note from Dan: Former Del. Clifton “Chip” Woodrum died Tuesday in Florida, something that shocked people through the Roanoke Valley and beyond, including yours truly. He was an honest and caring lawmaker, a fountain of wisdom who brilliantly represented the Roanoke Valley’s interests for many years in the Virginia General Assembly, a talented lawyer and always a class act. He was also source for some column ideas and an occasional contributor to this blog (as recently as Feb. 5). His intellect and cleverness at turning a phrase rarely failed to shine. As Steve C elegantly wrote here back in September: “Chip obviously has more wit is in his little finger than the rest of us put together. . . He is truly one of the giants in Va politics.”
Below, I’ve compiled some of “Chip’s greatest hits” from his comments here.
2.5.13–On the column suggestion a new Virginia currency, the “Virgin:
Regarding the motto for the “Virgin” or the “Marsh” or whatever is chosen, I am torn.
First I’d try “Stultus quod suus viaticus es nunc secui”. This translates “A fool and his money are soon parted.” The sentiment seems altogether appropriate but it is a tad long.
Next–for brevity’s sake: “Operor non recipero ullus memorosus nickles.” This is roughly “Do not accept any wooden nickles.”
1.14.13–On gun nut James Yeager’s over-the-top pro-gun video
He was “angry” when he made the first (and second) video? Well, he could get “angry” again. I recommend calling 911 if anyone sees that guy near a school.
9.18.12–About a column I wrote about my daughter’s mental health struggles:
Dan and Erin, this is a wonderful story of a family working together to overcome adversity. The Casey family showed us how to do it. Never give up!
9.4.12–About those crazy, RWer chain emails that blame President Obama for everything under the sun:
Those slanderous and false email screeds are amazing. Apparently there are a large number of people who will circulate anything without the least concern for its truth or falsity.
Some of these emails are stunningly stupid. Many of those who circulate this stuff do it constantly. And they aren’t even original;I received that same email calling Obama a “narcissist” by the fake “psychologist” during the 2008 campaign.
Randy could benefit from some mental health treatment. Hopefully he’ll be able to get it under the Affordable Care Act.
7.18.12–About Joseph Farah, publisher of World Net Daily aka wnd.com:
Poor Mr. Farah. I think that his tinfoil hat has slipped.
3.16.12–On why David Bowers should be re-elected mayor:
In the 2008 election, David Bowers was elected mayor on a ticket that lost every race but his. He came onto the Council as a minority of one and every other member of council had opposed his election.
However, over the past 4 years David has reached out to other members of council and now every one of them supports his reelection as mayor. That should tell you something about his ability to reach out to those who had disagreed with him. David bowers has served this city and he deserves reelection.
3.13.12–Correcting a bad headline I wrote about Dave “Mudcat” Saunders appearance on the Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report:
I believe its “South Carolina–too small to be a country, too big to be a mental institution.” Please–no reflection on mental institutions or on small countries, though.
3.7.2012–On a post about the glee a liberal friend of mine took in voting in the GOP presidential primary:
As a strong Democrat, I participate in my party’s nominating process every chance I get. I do not appreciate members of other parties injecting themselves into that process in an effort nominate a weaker candidate. I would never try to enter another party’s nominating procedure to do so. While we have “open primaries” in Virginia, the underlying theory is that each party has the right to nominate the candidates of their choice. I cannot condone going to the polls to vote in a primary for no other reason than to corrupt the result. Interfering with the other party is the type of activity that taken to its ultimate conclusion gives rise to scandals such as Watergate. We should “work our own side of the street.”
3.2.12–Response to a reader comment from another poster bemoaning “frivolous lawsuits:”
The sanctions law for frivolous suits is enforced regularly and with some vigor. Penalties have recently ranged from $2,639 in the Fairfax County Circuit Court VA Lawyers Weekly, March 18, 2010) to over $542,000 in the Circuit Court for the City of Charlottesville (VA Lawyers Weekly, November 9, 2011). Those are just two examples showing a range of penalties; there are a number of additional instances.
3.1.12–Response to a reader comment about “nutty left-wing” judges in Botetourt County:
As far as the comment about “nutty left-wing judges”, I would note that the presiding Circuit Judge in Botetourt County is Malfourd “Bo” Trumbo who, before he was a judge had served as a member of the House of Delegates and the State Senate. He was elected and served as a Republican from an area not known for “left-wing” tendencies.
As far as the question of whether or not I know what I’m saying, I suggest the lady read Section 8.01-271.1 of the Code of Virginia or get someone to read it to her.
2.17.12–Caption contest for a pic of then-presidential candidate Newt Gingrich with some people in cow costumes:
I need to put this bull on staff. He’s supplied some of the best stuff I’ve used in my campaign.
2.14.12–Response to reader comment that Rick Santorum was in the GOP presidential primary lead:
Santorum has a “slight lead”? Chuckle…That doesn’t surprise me. The “slight lead” in that curious selection process has changed so many times and in such strange ways that I wouldn’t be surprised to see Sleepy or Dopey take a “slight lead” at some not too distant point.
2.5.12–Caption contest for a pic of Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer with her finger in President Obama’s face:
Brewer: “This is what I think of you!”
Obama: (Wrong finger, M’am).
1.28.12–Caption Contest for pic of radio personality Greg Roberts and his pet rabbit, Puggy:
Roberts: Huhhh…I’m gonna stwangle this wascally wabbit!
Puggy: Doc…I know Elmer Fudd and you’re no Elmer Fudd!
1.6.12–About Richard Cordray, the new chief of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, and his first day on the job:
It is good to see Cordray going after payday lenders who have had little or no federal oversight and are only a step above “loan sharks”…well…make that about a half step.
6.3.11 –About the possibility of removing then-Franklin County Sheriff Ewell Hunt from office:
Removal from office through the court proceedings as established in the Virginia Code is a long, expensive and potentially laborious process. It could take up to a year.
The election will be in November. Hunt has less than 7 months left in his term of office. Why not spend the time, effort and money electing a better, more competent sheriff?
Taking him out in the election is faster, cheaper (to the public purse) and will leave less of a bad feeling about the process of his removal. Let the people do it–that’s always the best.
6.3.11–Response to a reader comment about former Sen. William Wampler:
While I often disagreed with William Wampler on politics and policy, I always found him to be a gentleman and someone who was willing to consider other points of view and work to achieve consensus. He has served Virginia well.
5.30.11–Responding to a letter by Patrick County Circuit Court Judge (and novelist) Martin Clark, who wrote me about former Del. Barnie Day’s new novel:
@The Honorable Martin Clark….Er…Your Worship, I am a great fan of your writing and jurisprudence as well as a great fan of Barnie Day’s. My admiration for Mr. Day is so great,in fact, that I would suggest we emphasize his undergraduate education which took place at the first state chartered university in the United States. I refer,of course,to that jewel in the crown of higher education,the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill.
Mr. Day pursued some “trade school” education (the MBA) at a Methodist school close to Chapel Hill (enabling that school to bask in the reflected glory of UNC).
5.14.11–A crack about the always difficult-to-ignore Donald Trump:
Trump Investments–”Hair today; gone tomorrow.”
4.23.11–Caption contest to write a limerick to Roanoke Nazi Bill White commemorating Hitler’s birthday:
Little Bill White was finally freed
Despite his treacherous nazi screed
To mommy he’ll run
She’ll not find it fun
And kick him out with deliberate speed
Billy White’s a proper nazi
Sprung from jail-he’s no patsy
Won’t see him here though-more’s the”pity”
He’s done run from our fair city!
2.10.11–About my column declaring the Texas Tavern’s chile (not to be confused with ‘chili’) the greatest in the Western Hemisphere:
Dan-I’m glad to see that your rehabilitation is progressing. In a few more years and your parole can be extended to include that block of Church Avenue. As for that insurance policy–don’t worry–my second grade classmate, “Jimbo” Bullington, does not need the money!
1.25.11–About former Gov. George Allen’s vow to Republicans, aimed at Democrats, to “Let’s enjoy knocking their soft teeth down their whiny throats.”
I think that was around 1994 that he made that memorable threat, Dan. If I might borrow from Shakespeare:
“…It’s a tale told by an idiot
Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing…”
He was not able to carry that threat through. I served another decade in the House of Delegates and retired with my teeth intact
Chip, you will be missed.