Note from Dan: The following guest post is by the notorious ex-librarian River Laker, a bicyclist known for using his helmet in unusual ways.
By River Laker
Regarding congestion and ill-mannered behaviors on Roanoke greenways I propose a simple solution: The immediate banning of lycra on all Roanoke greenways.
It is primarily the lycra-clad bicyclists that are causing the troubles. They come in from the county, fill up the parking spaces with their monstrous sized vehicles, and proceed to treat our Roanoke greenways like race tracks.
To a lesser degree the lycra-clad runners and walkers, also primarily from the county, treat Roanoke greenways in the same way.
And to an even lesser degree, but still in significant numbers, the county lycra clad pet owners do the same thing.
I have carried out informal surveys and the results back this situation up with cold, hard data. Surveys also indicate that city residents rarely use greenways when clad in lycra, they appropriately use Roanoke public roads and sidewalks instead.
You can dismiss this proposal as simplistic, stereotypical, prejudiced and territorial if you wish. But go ahead, install simply worded signs at all Roanoke greenway entrances.
For example, if they said “NO LYCRA PERMITTED BEYOND THIS POINT,” I bet you congestion problems and ill-mannered behaviors will be a thing of the past.