Mark Around the World — Oct. 23, 2013
Note from Dan: My old buddy Mark recently shared a story that cracked me up. I asked him to massage it into an essay. It’s posted below. Enjoy.
Remember last year when I posted an essay about the pub crawl and the absinthe bar in Old Town Prague? There is a sequel. Believe it or not, we still haven’t finalized this beast of a contract but we are getting very close. In the meantime both sides are investing a lot of money in the project with the good faith understanding that we will sign (that is my job mostly).
Anyway, we went on another Old Town crawl 10 days ago with the same people, augmented by a couple of new actors. Coincidentally, it was awfully close to the one-year anniversary of the pub crawl I memorialized here.
One new actor was from the Czech side; he is a guru regarding some of the technology integration strategies we’ve been stuck on for months. His name is Lukas, but I nicknamed him “The Big Prince” because he always wears a scarf like The Little Prince in the French classic.
Our group was feeling pretty happy by the time we ended up in a Churrascaria, one of those all-you-can eat Brazilian restaurants where waiters walk by tables with enormous hunks of meat from various animals, and if you wish they will slice off a piece directly onto your plate with a very sharp knife.
At some point in our carnivorous orgy, The Big Prince lets out a scream as a waiter shaved meat from a lamb haunch onto his plate. Within moments blood was pouring down his hand, shirt and onto his plate. Somehow, the waiter sliced Lukas’ finger, along with the lamb haunch.
As the only American at the table, I found what happened next even more stunning. The waiter pulled out a well used cloth table wipe from his apron and told Lukas to wrap it around his finger to stop the bleeding. Then he called another waitress, a pretty girl, who brought a first aid kit. With a delicate lady’s touch she dabbed iodine onto Big Prince’s finger, put some gauze on it, and taped it real tightly to cut off the bleeding.
Then, she told Lukas that he can now enjoy the rest of his dinner, smiled, and disappeared. Lukas beamed with happiness and contentment, although he complained that his finger was turning blue and cold because it was taped so tightly. The party resumed.
Apparently I was the only one who couldn’t stop thinking about the accident. Especially so, because I was sitting across from Lukas and I knew that some of the stains on the table cloth weren’t from the rare filet mignon that was periodically carved at our table.
I asked Lukas if he had any idea how much money he could make suing the restaurant if this happened in the United States.
Without skipping a beat, Lukas, aka The Big Prince, deadpanned that his handling of the incident is probably more pathetic than I suspect. It turns out that he is in his third year of law school and expects to pass the Czech bar exam next year. His colleagues confirmed that this is no joke.
With a deep sigh and a roll of his eyes, Lukas rhetorically asked “Where is my killer instinct? Do I have a future in international law?”
(Note from Dan: He needs to call Daniel Crandall!)
Click on the following link to read another hilarious MarkJ tale, “How to register a car in Poland — the hard way.”