From patheos.com

Blue Ridge Christian Academy. Sounds like it could be an institution of the Roanoke Valley, eh?

But it’s not. The parochial school is in Landrum, S.C., which is just south of the North Carolina border, about 20 miles northwest of Spartanburg.

Apparently they teach an interesting brand of  science there. You can get a flavor from the images on the left, a perfect score on a 4th-grade science test administered in March.

(Note: I copied them from patheos.com, which copied them from Reddit; Snopes says this may be a hoax is now rating it as “true;” a creationism blog is the one that identified the school; h/t to reader Scott M).

Pay careful attention to the questions, and the “correct” answers. The school’s website says:

“Science lessons are creation-based, student-centered and hands-on. Topics covered in the elementary grades lay the foundation for the sciences taught in middle and high school. Students are exposed to the natural resources surrounding us as well as the best of other resources and publications.”

Note the photo below, in which the answer “God!!!!” gets four exclamation points, but the answer “Bible!!!” (which is a work of man) gets only three. Both are correct, naturally.

And then answer this question: Read more »

Jeana and Tony Azar, at their kitchen table with court documents related to the troubles they’ve had trying to kick a 9-month-long house guest out of their Roanoke County home. | Photo by Rebecca Barnett | The Roanoke Times

Never before has this column ventured into a landlord-tenant dispute. They’re often messy affairs with little larger significance. But the case of Jeana Azar was hard to resist. She’s a homeowner and the “landlord.”

Back on Valentine’s Day, Azar’s former friend and current “tenant,” Teresa Martin, got Azar kicked out of her own house. Azar is back in it now.

The story behind this curious situation is a cautionary tale of personal friendship and kindheartedness that took a hard turn into bitter animosity, a claimed assault and a court-issued protective order.

It hinges on the surprising difference between a “guest” and a “tenant” under Virginia law.

The two women were in Roanoke County General District Court Wednesday and they’ll be back there March 11. In the meantime, they’re both still living in Azar’s Southwest Roanoke County home — and walking on eggshells. Read more »

Chip Tarbutton and Greg Aldridge

Probably you have never heard of Virginia Green Menace. They’re a group with strong ties to the Roanoke Tea Party, which despite its avowals of independence is affiliated with the Koch Bros.-founded Americans For Prosperity. The VGM propagates every crackpot conspiracy theory out there regarding environmental protection. That’s their singular mission.

The central one, the “Mother Theory,” is that the United Nations is is running a dastardly and Orwellian plot to force home dwellers in Roanoke County off their land and into Motel 6-sized apartments in cluster villages, kind of like in that famously paranoid (and fictional) 1960s TV show, “The Prisoner.” (Bike lanes are part of this conspiracy, too, they believe).

Virginia Green Menace has always been an unintentional laugh riot. Now it looks like they’re going for intentional laughs. Or perhaps they’re simply 5-1/2 months late with an April Fool’s joke. Read more »

© by Jeff Dean | Wikimedia Commons

This came in as a news tip here at the paper Tuesday, and it appears to be true.

On Dec. 8, a cop in Fairfax County pulled over a truckdriver from Maryland and charged him with driving while not speaking English well. His court date is Jan. 26.

You can look it up here (after you enter the correct CAPTCHA code). Go to Fairfax County District Court and lookup the driver’s name: Mauricio Guardado-Miranda

Under “Charge information” it states: Doesn’t speak English well”

Under “Code section” the docket cites: 49CFR391.11

And here is the relevant part of what that the Code of Federal Regulations says about that: Read more »

One of two Obama Chia pets I bought as gifts this year.

It was morning on Christmas Eve, and I was busy. On the “to do” was a short list of tasks: pickup a last-minute present for my wife, some necessities for my mom, and deliver a Christmas gift to my dear friend terps.

His gift is right there on the left, an amazing Obama Chia Pet, produced by Ronco or somebody. A couple weeks earlier, I had hunted down that prize in the garden department of Kmart on Franklin Road.

I had snagged a holiday gift bag from my basement to put it in, but I still needed some tissue paper to wrap it. Preferably red, because terps, of course, is a red-blooded American male Republican.

Dollar General at Cave Spring Corners was out of every color except pink. I bought a pack of that for $1, just in case, then headed into Kroger to pick up a couple of other items for my mom, who was visiting.

And I thought, “well maybe they have red tissue paper here.” So after I picked up mom’s necessities, I wandered into the Christmas decorations aisle. But I didn’t see any tissue paper. I figured it would be near the wrapping paper. But I didn’t see any of that, either.

Suddenly the entire aisle was seized with an overpowering odor of cheap perfume. “Oh my God,” I thought. “Where’s that coming from?” Nobody was within 30 feet of me except for a young male Kroger worker — and it wasn’t coming coming from him. Read more »

More on this movie:

“Once upon a time, Santa went nuts…You better watch out … literally, because Slaughter Claus and his Bi-Polar elf are coming to town. Your town! And they’re up to no good.”

More on Charles E. Cullen here.

River Laker

A state Alcoholic Beverage Control hearing officer has ruled 202 Market was guilty of allowing River Laker’s striptease act during a bachelor/bachelorette auction back in February.

The penalty: a 10-day license suspension or a $1,000 fine.

The verdict can be appealed to the full ABC Board, and then to Circuit Court if the owners of 202 Market desire.

I’ve made my thoughts about this clear in the past.

Give us yours, folks.

Sometimes you hear something so ridiculous it’s beyond belief. That’s common fare in Mad Magazine, and on TV’s Fox News. Such as Friday, when the Foxers went off their gourds on a story positing that space aliens might attack Earth because of global warming. “True story!” one host trumpeted it. “I am not making this up,” Fox host Megyn Kelly said.  (Later she took that back.)

It was all a small part of a larger study written by some scientists (one of whom apparently works at NASA) and some bloggers who probably have a dry sense of humor. But Fox New treated it as so real that you’ve really got to wonder about those folks.

They even did an unscientific viewer poll on the question. The results: 3 percent of respondents said we need to curb greenhouse emissions. 19 percent said we need to fight space aliens. And 79 percent or so said scientists should “stop their research and create jobs.” No kidding.

Rick Perry will probably be talkin’ ’bout this on the campaign trail soon. . .

Steyr M1912 fully automatic machine pistol

Sometime we country bumpkins have fun taking shots at Northern Virginia.

The people who live there are not really part of the Old Dominion, we like to imagine.

Most of the place is paved with shopping centers.  Northern Virginia is so crowded you can’t really hunt deer.

A house in Prince William County easily costs three to four times what you would pay in Vinton. And once you stupidly paid that much, you couldn’t drive anywhere, because the traffic jams are unreal.

If you’re lucky enough to live within walking distance of the Metro, it means you paid 6 times as much a place in Vinton.

Now there‘s a new reason for us to look down our noses at NoVa. There are some hideously stupid people up there.

As evidence, I offer state Del. Jackson Miller, R-Manassas. He’s an ex-police officer and real estate agent who proudly sponsored the most ridiculous law in the Virginia General Assembly this year.

It’s almost as dumb as the 1971 resolution in the Texas legislature honoring Albert DeSalvo for his unconventional efforts at population control. (He was the Boston Strangler. That resolution was an April Fool’s prank. The dimwits in the Texas House passed it unanimously.)

Miller’s effort has become known as the concealed-carry-of-machine guns bill. It would expand the list of weapons that may be concealed by any Virginia permit holder from handguns to “any lawful weapon.”

If you have a federal license, machine guns are lawful. Thus, you could carry one concealed if you had a concealed weapons permit, which in certain respects is easier to get than a Virginia driver’s license.

Because of the General Assembly’s action last year, under Miller’s bill you could even carry your concealed machine gun into bars. It would be the ultimate personal security device in a roomful of angry drunks. Read more »

Ondrej Lipar from Prague | Wikimedia Commons

Plainclothes cops in Britian routinely slept with members of activist groups they infiltrated, a former officer has charged in a titillating story that is bound to give new meaning to the term “undercover investigation.”

From The Guardian:

The former undercover policeman claims that sexual relationships with activists were sanctioned for both men and women officers infiltrating anarchist, leftwing and environmental groups.

Sex was a tool to help officers blend in, the officer claimed, and was widely used as a technique to glean intelligence. His comments contradict claims last week from the Association of Chief Police Officers that operatives were absolutely forbidden to sleep with activists.

The one stipulation, according to the officer from the Special Demonstration Squad (SDS), a secret unit formed to prevent violent disorder on the streets of London, was that falling in love was considered highly unprofessional because it might compromise an investigation.

He said undercover officers, particularly those infiltrating environmental and leftwing groups, viewed having sex with a large number of partners “as part of the job”.

Update: Sex infiltration of some right-wingers.

(h/t to Debbie; VVarlock, eat your heart out)