AP Photo

My, my.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi looks like she just had another grandchild.

House Speaker John Boehner, however, looks like his daughter just gave birth go a 9-pound lizard. (As opposed to when he palled around with con man Bobby Thompson, I mean.)

This was a shot a sharp shutterbug from the Associated Press took of them Thursday after they learned of the Supreme Courts 5-4 ruling upholding the Affordable Care Act, aka “ObamaCare.”

Let’s put some words to those expressions. What is dear Nancy saying right now? And what is dear John thinking.

Put your best guesses in the comments below.

The funniest will win a prize from Dan’s Bookshelf.

The contest ends Wednesday at noon.

(We’ll announce the winner of the Romney-glove-fudge contest Monday).

(h/t to dave, who wins a book for suggesting this shot).

Steve Petteway | Wikimedia Commons | Balloons by Dan

There they are, the 9 people who will shortly rule on the constitutionality if the Affordable Care Act, aka “Obamacare.” Their ruling, which may be the most momentous one in many years,  is expected any day.

Today, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi predicted they would rule 6-3 in favor of the law.

What do you think? That’s the subject of our latest three-part contest. Read more »

AP Photo | Text balloon by Dan

This picture was shot years ago (during the last presidential campaign, I believe).

But now that the Romney campaign is begging the governors of Florida and Ohio to fudge their recently optimistic employment numbers (Romney wishes they were worse) it seems time to haul out this oldie-but-goodie for some Caption This! treatment.

(Besides, a lot of you have been begging to have some fun with this one).

The challenge today is to put some words in the Mittster’s mouth, as he poses in Armani and latex at a coffee shop/fudge store somewhere in America.

The funniest entry wins, but you have to keep your entries suitable for a family newspaper.  You’ll get bonus points for actual quotes in which Romney used with the term “fudge,” and/or if you can relate your fake words to his  current campaign.

The winner gets a book off Dan’s Bookshelf, and the contest ends Wednesday at noon.

Photo by Sam Dean

Mayor David Bowers was re-elected Tuesday with 51.97 percent of the vote over challenger Mark Lucas, which means that belle, who guessed 52.4 percent  wins our Election Day predication contest.

Congrats belle! (And congrats to Mayor Bowers, too). belle, you win a volume from Dan’s Bookshelf. Mayor Bowers wins 4 more years in office at $20,000 per year, plus benefits.

belle, email me your choice, plus your real name and address and I’ll drop your prize in the mail to you.

BTW, nobody was truly close in predicting the number of votes that independent Brandon Bushnell would take in the council race (he took 3,105). Most of you guessed in the three digits. The poster ‘dave’ came closest, with 1,750.

Here are the rankings, from closest to not so close, followed by the percentages each entrant guessed for Hizzoner: Read more »

OK, folks, here we go. Pick the percentages in today’s mayoral race between challenger Mark Lucas and incumbent David Bowers.

You need to make your choices in three digits, such as 49.7.

Just in case there is a tie among contestants, also tell us the total number of votes independent council challenger Brandon Bushnell will take in his election bid.

Your entries should look like this:

Lucas, 50.7

Bowers 49.3

Bushnell, 1,605

Your guesses have to be submitted by 6:30 p.m.

Whoever is closest will win a prize from Dan’s Bookshelf.

Photo by Chris Suspect | Used with permission

That guy holding the red flag at Occupy Roanoke in Elmwood Park goes by the moniker “Commander Zero.” He’s the only avowed Marxist of that bunch, so far as I can tell.

Your challenge today is to tell us what he’s saying, and what the woman on then right is thinking. Your entries should look like this:

Zero: “Better off red than dead!”

Woman: I think he’s got that backwards.

The funniest entry will win a prize from Dan’s Bookshelf.

Thanks to Chris Suspect, for allowing me to use this shot, and to his mother-in-law, Debbie, who suggested it. See more of Chris’ great photography here.

Have fun, everyone!

AP Photo

Miriam, with this dandy limerick:

“There once was a cow named Big Black

Who went to be butchered, KA-WHACK!

He went in as a bovine

and came out as pink slime,

And now he’s a yummy Big Mack.”

Congrats, Miriam! Help yourself to a volume from Dan’s Bookshelf.

Email me your choice and your address an d I’ll drop it in the mail.

Check back at noon today folks, when we’ll have a contest centered around a pic from Occupy Roanoke.

AP Photo

OK, folks, here are 9 of the 24 or so limericks you wrote about that odious 100-percent beef and ammonia meat product known as pink slime, which apparently no longer is mixed into your hamburger patties. Do you miss it?

Vote for your favorite of those below. I’ll announced the winner first thing Friday morning.

(Full disclosure: I am NOT that pink slime-defending Dan Casey, though you probably grasped that already).

#3, from Kristen:
When hungry, ingest some pink slime!
Sad to say, selling it’s no crime.
Your gut – it rebels!
Resulting in smells
Memorable, but far from sublime.

#4, from Miriam:
There once was a cow named Big Black
Who went to be butchered, KA-WHACK!
He went in as a bovine
and came out as pink slime,
And now he’s a yummy Big Mack

#7, from tass
There once was a weak company
That handled its accounts poorly
So as soon as some stress
Began to hit the press
It immediately declared bankruptcy. Read more »

AP Photo

Well, it looks like the big, bad ol’ media has done it again. They have bankrupted a fine American company that was manufacturing freshened-up pet food and sold it as filler for ground beef.

How dare people be told what’s in the food they eat?

This pile of “pink slime” looks to me like the stuff they used to make Ken-L-Ration Burgers for dogs out of. Gag.

Anyway, pink slime strikes me as perfect fodder for a limerick, at which many of you bloggers excel. So limerick away, folks, and come up with something funny.

The best will win a prize from Dan’s Bookshelf.

The contest ends Wednesday at noon.

Photo by Dan | Text by joe

‘joe’ is the winner of the contest to put a message on La’Cove’s empty sign.

Congrats, Joe!

Help yourself to a volume from Dan’s Bookshelf.

Email me your choice, and you snail-mail address, and I’ll drop it in the mail.

We’ll back back next Friday with another contest, folks!