The Gonzo blogger known as Suzie managed to procure some dimethyltriptamine (aka DMT) Friday, and she’s been smoking it all weekend, chasing each hit with a slug of Popov vodka, unchilled.
How else could anyone explain the set of bizarre generalizations that appears below?
DMT, for those of you unfamiliar with hallucinogens, is a super-psychedelic. The “super” is not a subjective judgment on my part; rather, it describe the incredible potency and bizarre, dimension-changing effects of the drug.
DMT is to LSD what the painkiller heroin is to aspirin. You smoke it or inject it and the stuff blasts your mind into space and an alternate reality. But the effects are quite short-lived. 15 to 30 minutes later you are back to reality, slugging down the vodka and putting another dose in the pipe.
Perhaps there are other ways to explain Suzie’s pap, and the errors in fact that she makes below. But I can’t think of any others — it must be the DMT.
Here goes, folks:
From my time on here and from personal experience, I’ve noticed somewhat consistent patterns between Roanoke City people vs. Roanoke Country people. By city folks, I’m talking about those who live in Old Southwest, Raleigh Court, and some areas of South Roanoke (the wannabes). These are the Roanokers Dan writes about. It’s his world. Let’s look at a few very generalized comparisons:
The city resident votes Democrat. Couples, if they have kids give them names like Hunter or Evan who play PC sports like soccer or lacrosse. No football or hoops for these boys. The parents aren’t real big sports fans. These people like to sit on their porches; the men wear loafers with no socks. The wives aren’t big on makeup. Their teenage sons wear plaid shorts from Abercrombie. Lawyers and teachers dominate the professional ranks. The few businessmen sprinkled in run maybe a trendy restaurant or some off-the-wall shop.
For the wealthier city folks, their kids go the North Cross or Governor’s School route. They aren’t excited about their kids rubbing shoulders with the PH riffraff, although they talk a good game. For college, it’s Roanoke College with some UVa thrown in. These kids are into liberal arts, not so much the hard stuff. Not many Hokies out of this group.
City folks dutifully put out their recycling bins, walk their dogs on the greenway, and attend every imaginable outdoor event. These people LIVE for downtown festivals.
The ones who go to church belong to some Unitarian or mainline protestant denomination like Presyterian. Nothing too harsh or demanding. They like a feel-good message, and they don’t want any action judged.
They invariably see themselves as urbane and cultured because they eat downtown fairly often, go to a few outdoor concerts, and force their brood to weather the Taubmann once in a while. Their houses are old, drafty, and in constant need of upkeep and repair, but that’s OK because they have “character”.
Roanoke County people vote Republican. They have the nerve to live in newer houses, many of which resemble each other. They don’t have sidewalks, so they use more fossil fuels and drive more often. Their yards are well-tended, but nothing fancy. These are people whose main focus is their work and families and charitable functions. Lots of volunteer work and contributions. They aren’t really into trying to impress each other; they don’t have time. The adults dress well for work; sneakers and jeans or shorts at home. Again, nothing fancy. While some teens wear designer clothes, many are content with Wal Mart’s brands.
Many county people work for companies. They may have been transferred here; that’s why in many county subdivisions, everybody is from somewhere else. Their kids are Matt and Katie. They play football, volleyball, and like cheerleading. The families go to VT football games, high school sporting events, and Salem Red Sox games. The kids go to Virginia Tech and become engineers, management, or marketing majors. They usually work during the summer.
County people sometimes go to downtown events, but it doesn’t consume them. They eat out as a family at buffet somewhere or at just a plain chain restaurant. They tend to travel out of town more often. They’re more likely to be Catholic or Baptist; churches where you’re asked to be accountable for your actions.
Many take their recyclabes to area bins. Some don’t. No biggie. These people are good stewards of the environment with energy-efficient homes, but as with everything, they don’t talk about it much. They just do it.