River Laker with an interesting street-cycling rig. Photo by Susan Jamison

Note from Dan: The following guest post is by the notorious ex-librarian River Laker, a bicyclist known for using his helmet in unusual ways.

By River Laker

Regarding congestion and ill-mannered behaviors on Roanoke greenways I propose a simple solution: The immediate banning of lycra on all Roanoke greenways.

It is primarily the lycra-clad bicyclists that are causing the troubles. They come in from the county, fill up the parking spaces with their monstrous sized vehicles, and proceed to treat our Roanoke greenways like race tracks.

To a lesser degree the lycra-clad runners and walkers, also primarily from the county, treat Roanoke greenways in the same way.

And to an even lesser degree, but still in significant numbers, the county lycra clad pet owners do the same thing. Read more »

. . . was about the contest for Roanoke City Sheriff. Could either one of these guys get elected dogcatcher these days?

Photographed, and photoshopped, by Dan

Think this car owner feels entitled? “I could buy your whole family!”

h/t to Zach, who showed this to me.

Saturday Night Live’s take on the gun control measure before the Senate.

AP Photo & FASTILY | Wikimedia Commons

Note from Dan: The following metaphorical verse comes courtesy Allison Cole of Roanoke.

Ken Cuccinelli has taken a stand

Making vanilla flavor of the land

Hey! I do not really think that is fair,

Have you tried the other flavors out there?

Some with walnuts, berries, and caramel ropes

Chocolate, marshmallows and rootbeer floats

Some have sprinkles, showing off the rainbow

Others with brownie bites and cookie dough

Do it with Ben, Jerry, or Blue Bunny Read more »

Check it out. Stewart looks a bit like a young Elvis — or maybe a cross between young Elvis and young Jeff Gordon. Carlin is amazing. Loved the part where he describes what brought his mom around to his brand of comedy. Make sure you hang to the end for an interesting prediction.

(from left) Erin Casey, Jackie Casey and Anna Casey | Shot by Dan

As many of you already know, last weekend we drove to Bowling Green Ohio for my mom’s 80th birthday celebration. She lives there in a senior assisted-living complex just a couple miles from my sister’s house. (My dad died in 2008). Her actual birthday is today.

It was a fun but too-short trip. We’ll be heading out there for a longer one this upcoming summer.

Here’s a shot from a party we had for her at a restaurant outside of Toledo. It was a great time, and mom — who’s had Parkinsons for many years — was in fine form.

Here’s one of the stories I told that night:

When I was nine we moved to Mountain Lakes, N.J. There were about 3,000 people and seven lakes, and it was an old, serious-money town with great schools. We lived in the poor section, which was called “The  Village.” That’s where the town’s servants had lived, back in the 1920s. It was when we lived there that I realized what a pistol Mom was.

Students weren’t bused in Mountain Lakes unless they lived 2 miles from school. The distance to our house was 1.9 miles. (Nobody lived farther away). So Mom would drive us to school in the morning and we would walk home in the afternoon, taking a couple of shortcuts through woods. Read more »

Grafic by Dan

Let’s kick this off with a Catholic priest, now nicknamed “Monsignor Meth” who’s agreed to plead guilty to selling $300,000 worth of the drug in Waterbury, Conn. last year.

Heading south to suburban Pittsburgh, a handgun saved a man from a mugging (by 10-point buck) in a Walmart parking lot.  What did the authorities think about the gunner’s self-defense acumen? Frankly, my deer, they didn’t give a damn. He bagged his prey but got charged — where’s Wayne LaPierre when you need him?

Moving below the Mason-Dixon Line, our next stop is the State Capitol in Nashville, Tenn. The Volunteer State is getting as weird as Florida, eh? Recall, this is the place where the legislature’s No. 1 gun-in-bars advocate was arrested and charged with DUI while packing. This week, a couple of other lawmakers were freaking out about a new, floor-level sink outside the Capitol men’s room. In a self-humiliating manner, they publicly fretted that it was for Muslims to wash their feet prior to prayer. Nope — it was a common mop sink. Read more »

This sublime bit of genius is from cartoonist Chris OBrion who tells me it was inspired by my Thursday column. More from Chris here.

Here’s a link to the full story.