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Monday bonus column: No jokes are good jokes for angry atheists

Wikimedia Commons | Enhanced by Dan

Here’s a true story about a small gang of angry atheists, their tin funny bones, and their apparent practice of not bothering to think for themselves.

They first surfaced last October, when I wrote a tongue-in-cheek column about the Giles County School Board and its lawyers from the Liberty Counsel. It lampooned the school board and Liberty Counsel for using gangster-like tactics in court to try to keep the Ten Commandments on the wall at Pearisburg High School.

They were trying to force the “John Doe” student plaintiff to reveal his name publicly, which would expose him to intimidation or worse, as a way to “persuade” him to drop his lawsuit against the hanging commandments. (It didn’t work, thank goodness).

On the other side of that issue was the Freedom From Religion Foundation, a group of nonbelievers based in Wisconsin. Somebody at the FFRF evidently believed the column poked fun at the FFRF, when it was actually aimed at the other side.

Via an email to a lengthy list of atheist adherents, the FFRF issued a figurative fatwah on your truly. It claimed I was a member of the religious right (now that’s a laugh) and that I had impugned them.

The next thing I knew, I got blitzed with nasty messages and comments on my blog, calling me all kinds of names. Read more »

Oh my God: ‘Virginia columnist slanders atheists’

Brett Lider | Wikimedia Commons | Text added by Dan

I love that headline above. It’s on a blog post about yours truly, out there on the interwebs somewhere, where a bunch of humorless crank nonbelievers are highly irritated by last Thursday’s column.

Granted, it wasn’t the greatest column in the world. It was aimed at the Roanoke County Board of Supervisors and all the hand-wringing they’re doing over opening their meetings with sectarian prayer.

The goal was to point out that that all the board is doing, by generating publicity over this, is HELPING an outfit of nonbelievers raise more money and grow in influence. Had the Giles County School Board and Pittsylvania County Board of acceded to reasonable requests to halt sectarian influence in government, the whole issue would have gone away. That’s what Roanoke City Council did years ago.

Instead, the RoCo Board of Supes are acting in a manner to help the Freedom From Religion Foundation raise money. A friend of mine in Roanoke County who is an atheist joined the FFRF after the story broke.

But I came at it from a sideways perspective, which is a risky thing. Humor is a risky thing, too, as Ed Brayton (the ex-stand-up comedian who wrote the blog post) might be able to testify. He quit stand-up because he was tired of explaining his jokes to people who were too dumb to appreciate them. Or so he writes.

I won’t be quitting. But I probably won’t be entering this one in any journalism awards competition (such as for the national award I won in column-writing this year). And I’m not going to lose any sleep over it either.

To me, lacking a sense of humor is a worse character flaw than believing in a deity. And if you want to see examples of the former, just look at some of the emails they’ve sent me after the jump. Ha!

From: pj matzig
Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 3:58:18 PM
To: Dan Casey
Subject: Dumb
Just read your idiotic screed. Have any evidence to back up your fantasies or was that whole imagined conversation just childish wish fulfillment?

—————————————–

From: Susan Fleming
Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 12:11:24 AM
To: Dan Casey
Subject: Don’t you understand separation of church and state?

Mr. Casey,

I take umberage to your column of Thursday, July 26, 2012.  I was reared among strong Judeo-Christian religious teachings.  But I was also reared to understand the need for the separation of church and state.  To have a state controlled governmental marriage among our religious traditions does nothing but evoke mental images of Nazi Germany leading up to and including the atrocities of World War II.

I doubt you would find many persons of any religious persuasion, or even among those lacking such conviction, who would not agree that the morals as placed down in the Ten Commandments are ideals to aspire to.  Of course they are.  Without such mores we would encounter lawlessness of a wholesale degree, of that there can be no doubt.

But one can live these tenets in society without having them posted in governmental buildings or in public schools.  The key here is that these are public institutions and public buildings.

There are very strong reasons for the separation of church and state.  If you do not agree I suggest you read up on The Federalist Papers published in 1787.  Our founding fathers understood the opression that can result from so much co-mingling.  It s time we remind our selves that government is government and church is church and never the twain shall meet.

Susan K Fleming
Matthews, NC

————————————

From: Ruth Walker
Sent: Thursday, July 26, 2012 7:59:09 PM
To: Letters (The Roanoke Times)
Cc: Carole Tarrant; Michael Stowe; Debbie Meade; Dan Casey
Subject: Letter to the Editor
Auto forwarded by a Rule

Perhaps Dan Casey should stick to writing about what he can observe in Roanoke, as it is obvious from the wild speculation in his July 26th column, Atheists likely thrive off Southwest Virginia, that he cannot see Wisconsin from his office.

While true that Dan took digs at others as well, the outrageous dollar amounts must not be ignored.  I have read reader comments below news articles suggesting that atheists are only in it for the money, so some of his readers would probably believe the mischaracterization (since FFRF never makes money on lawsuits, at best breaking even and often have un-recouped expenses).

Many of us believe that work to uphold the Constitution of the United States is very important.  Please consider publishing what their staff attorney wrote while speculating right back on Dan.  ffrf.org/news/blog/let-your-imagination-run-wild

From: Ruth Walker
CEDAR FALLS, IOWA

——————————————-
From: Ed Brayton

Sent: Thursday, July 26, 2012 1:49:01 PM
To: Dan Casey
Subject: The FFRFMr. Casey –
In reference to your column:I wonder if you have any evidence at all that the FFRF has made a million and a half dollars on their lawsuit against the Giles County schools over the Ten Commandments? Or any money whatsoever, for that matter?
The case was recently settled and the FFRF didn’t get a dime to reimburse them for their legal work; the ACLU will receive a whopping $6500 for legal fees that went on for 18 months, a tiny fraction of the actual expenses. Do you think the case helped them raise $1.5 million in funds? Do you have any evidence for this? Or do you just think that
fantasizing about such huge numbers is a reasonable way to discredit the organization?By the way, reimbursement for legal fees is open to anyone who sues a government agency, under federal law. If you sue the government over a constitutional violation and win, you can make a motion to have the government pay your legal fees. The reason is obvious: A citizen should not have to pay large amounts of money to keep the government from
violating the law.
When Christian legal groups sue the government and win, they get exactly the same thing. And they also use those cases to raise funds. So can we expect a column imagining such conversations taking place in the offices of Liberty Counsel, the American Center for Law and Justice or the Thomas More Law Center sometime soon?Ed Brayton
—————————————–
From: Guy Alan
Sent: Thursday, July 26, 2012 11:51:28 AM
To: Dan Casey
Subject: Atheists Likely Thrive off Southwest Virginia
Mr. Casey,
I’d like to give you some information to better educate you regarding your article, “Atheists Likely Thrive off Southwest Virginia.”
The Freedom From Religion Foundation is a 501(c)3 educational charity. Something to understand about charities is that they exist to raise money; it’s no surprise that FFRF would do the same. Yet, you seem to criticize them for doing so. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt—though your article doesn’t say it explicitly, let’s assume your contention is that the money is used unethically or that the foundation is poorly run. This concern can be easily addressed by visiting the Charity Navigator website where you will find a four star rating for FFRF and all of the particulars regarding expenses.
Also, you seem to be confused about the nature of atheism. The beginning of your fanciful story includes (what I can only assume was meant to be) a joke where Luke is accidentally referred to as “Lucifer.” Lucifer is a Christian god. Atheists do not believe in Lucifer—or any other god, as it happens. That is what makes them atheists.
I’d like to invite you to write another article on this topic once you’ve done some research on the Freedom From Religion Foundation and atheism in general.
Sincerely,
Guy Dagata
—————————
From: Jim Peters[SMTP:JIM@TAZWADE.COM]
Sent: Thursday, July 26, 2012 7:42:26 AM
To: Dan Casey
Subject: Atheist story
Auto forwarded by a RuleDan, you can get a free FFRF newsletter just by asking.  In it, you will see that FFRF does church-and-state separation cases all over the country, and the court cases here are just a couple of relatively forgettable ones of many others.  Also, they are a non-profit and publish their balance sheets, so you can get those anytime you want, just by asking.
I think the number you suggest in your story as being raised from California as a result of the issues in Roanoke is
probably more than their entire annual budget, but please feel free to do three minutes of fact-checking to find out.  It would probably only take a phone call or a glance at ffrf.org.  They’ll talk to you when you call.  They answer their phones.I think a better explanation as to why there are two FFRF issues ongoing in this area is that when the Giles County case hit the news here, someone in Roanoke who had been quietly enduring the prayers at board meetings became aware of an organization that provides relief (and cover) for church-and-state separation issues in communities
such as ours.  Oftentimes board members themselves are sick of hearing a dominant board personality’s own personal religious beliefs at the beginning of every meeting, but it takes an outside “threat” (letter) to “force” (provide cover for) the board members to feign reluctance to follow the US Constitution.  That way, they get to get rid of the prayer that they don’t want to hear, and also get to keep their seats on the board.  They could never do that by resolution.Jim

—————————

From: Jim Peterson
Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 6:47:12 PM
To: Dan Casey
Cc: Michael Stowe
Subject: Atheist article

Mr. Casey,

I read your article Not a bit of satire against the board as you told Mr. Braylon. If there was, you would have mentioned how much money they had to cough up. Sorry, try another excuse for being an ignorant jerk.

Roanoke editor: I know this article wasn’t in your paper. It does show a definite lack of journalistic integrity which reflects upon your paper. If he is able to make up tripe like this, what is to keep him from doing the same on your paper?

Jim Peterson

——————————

From: Frances
Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 12:21:30 PM
To: Dan Casey
Subject: You are a pig

And probably an evil catholic

——————————-

 

 

Thursday’s column: The atheists are laughing, all the way to the bank

Aeryn | Wikimedia Commons

Generic board meeting | Aeryn | Wikimedia Commons

Somewhere in an office building in Madison, Wis., the directors of the Freedom From Religion Foundation hold strategy meetings.

Let’s imagine some of the discussions they’ve been having in the last few years about religion and public life in Southwest Virginia.

“Next we’ll hear from the atheist in charge of  the Blue Ridge mountains area. Lucifer — er, I meant Luke — can you give us a status report?

“Happy to, madam chairwoman,” says Luke.

“As you know, we’ve been in a fierce court battle with the Giles County School Board over the hanging of the Ten Commandments in their high school. That’s been going on for about 18 months now.

“First the local churches got everyone riled up to keep the commandments. So we sued, and the board tried to ‘out’ the unnamed student  plaintiff in the case. But a federal judge ruled the student could remain anonymous , so he wouldn’t get or teased or beat up or have his house egged. Read more »

Thou shalt remove the Ten Commandments from Narrows High School

www.godhearme.org

www.godhearme.org

The Giles County school board today voted to remove the Ten Commandments from a school wall in Narrows High School.

The decision comes in the face of an almost certain federal court ruling against the board and costly plaintiffs’ attorneys fees they could have to pay if they had lost the case.

My colleague Laurence Hammack has that story here.

What do you think? Did the board do the right thing? Why or why not?

Put your comments below.

 

 

Cut the 10 Commandments down to 6?

A truck trailer with a Ten Commandments message parked in a private field on the edge of the Town of Pearisburg in Giles County. | By Matt Gentry | The Roanoke Times

One of the stranger legal rulings I’ve ever seen come out of federal court came down today, when U.S. District Judge Michael Urbanski ordered the two sides in the the Giles County Schools 10 Commandments case into mediation.

The judge seemed to be bending over backwards and protecting the Giles County School Board from an enormous loser-pays bill that would be due if the school board lost the case, which they probably would.

More here from my colleague Laurence Hammack.

Recall, the board through its attorneys (Liberty Counsel) already has unsuccessfully tried to “out” the anonymous student at Narrows High School protesting the posting of the commandments on a school wall with other secular documents such as the Magna Carta and the Declaration of Independence. He is being represented by the ACLU.

So what do you think? Urbanski’s action is almost Solomonic, wouldn’t you say? Except rather than split the baby down the middle, he sounds willing to lean to the defendants 60-40.

Do you think they’ll go for that? I can’t imaging they would.

 

 

Your daily Letter to the Columnist — Oct. 20, 2011

Boise, Idaho | Kewncf0618 | Wikimedia Commons

He liked the column about the Giles County School Board’s Mafia-like tactics in the 10 Commandments case

Ha! Great article Dan.  They won’t get it, but they rarely do.

If only there was somewhere they could go to worship….

Anyway, it’s good to know there are people in the media willing to make an attempt to explain this kind of problem to these somewhat scary people.

Thank you,

Steve Southern
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA

Tuesday’s column: Plaintiff intimidation, mobster-style

Isabelle Vautier | Wikimedia Commons

Note: I had a strange dream in which the Mafia was advising the Giles County School Board in the lawsuit over the 10 Commandments brought by a student and parent who wish to remain anonymous.

MEMO

From: Your goodfellas

To: The Giles County School Board

Subject: Da rat fink student who hauled your butts into court

Yo, Giles School Board members,

These pencil-necked schmucks at the ACLU, we got’em by the you-know-whats this time.

If them bozos think they can haul us into court, trying to get the Ten Commandments removed from our schools, they gottanutha thing coming.

So we all understand how we got here, here’s a little background. Because it’s easy to fuggedaboudit.

Back in 2010, when them nuts in the Freedom from Religion Foundation first began acting up about the First Amendment, youse school board members threw in the towel and took down the commandments.

We’re not bustin’ your you-know-whats or anything. That’s just facts. Youse folded faster than a tent revival preacher caught with a spinster schoolmarm. En flagrante delicto, they say in the old country.

Next, the churches and preachers got all up in arms, and the parents, too. They hammered the board to bring back the commandments.

The board did that, with the ruse that the commandments were a historical document important to the foundations of this country. Along with a bunch of other musty old papers like the Magna Carta.

So it’s history, see. Whaddaya know?

Then, we all crossed our fingers and hoped the ACLU and the Freedom from Religion Foundation would fall for da scam.

Well, you know what? Didn’t happen. They’re smarter than that. Now we’re in federal court. Before Judge Chewbanski, whatever. He’s younger and greener, see? Not like them other old geezer judges.

Problem is, we ain’t gotta case. The Supreme Court rulings on the First Amendment are pretty clear. They’ve already pretty much deep-sixed any argument we could make. Chewbanski’s no dummy.

Youse see, if the schools hadda just not axed the commandments to begin with, and just shut up and changed the displays to include other historical documents, everything probably woulda been copacetic.

That kinda thing is defensible. There’s rulings and all that support it. Capiche?

But now, the cat’s outta the bag. Everybody and their dead grandma knows the other historical documents were a smokescreen to get the commandments back up.

And the courts, they don’t like that kind of funny stuff. They’ve dumped other cases like that.

But don’t you worry ’bout this, because we got one more trick up our sleeve.

See, these plaintiffs, they’re anonymous – John Doe, Jane Doe. Whoever, whatever.

And they wanna stay anonymous. Mom and pop don’t want young junior Doe to get the you-know-what kicked out of him by the other students, if they knew he was da bum who sued. .

So what we do is, we force the court to reveal their names. It’s the most beauty-full strategy in the world.

And you know why?

Because we don’t have to put our loser of a case on trial.

See, the kid will get scared. Mom and pop, too. They don’t want their names out there, or junior gets tuned up at school, or mocked, or made fun of, day after day.

What mudda would subject her kid to such ridicule, scorn, and harassment?

So they drop the case rather than have their names get out.

And then, all our problems are over.

The commandments stay up in schools. The kid who sued clams up. The media goes away. The ACLU mouthpiece heads back to Richmond. Those kooks in the Freedom from Religion Foundation leave, too.

The whole thing blows over quicker than ice cream melts on a hunerd-degree day in Brooklyn. And you board members don’t have to pay no attorney fees to the ACLU because it was the plaintiffs who chickened out.

Problem solved. Everyone’s happy. A beauty-full thing, right?

We call this “The Soprano Strategy.” But instead of witness intimidation, it’s plaintiff intimidation.

Intimidation, schmintimidation. Who cares? We win. That’s what’s important.

Tony Soprano, hah, what a guy.

Bada bing!


Post of the day: Educated in Giles County Schools

Note from Dan: A poster by the name of FormerStudent put this one on this thread.

“I grew up in Giles and went to school there K-12. I love that place, but they need to move on.

I just wish the school board would have spent as much time on issues while I was in school. When I was there in the 90′s at least three of my classmates were sexually involved with teachers.

The school board knew about it (there were more than 6). The sheriff’s office knew about it. And the school superintendent knew about it. What happened??? Well the teachers quietly resigned and it was swept under the rug (two of the board members are still on the board).

Don’t believe me? Check the minutes on the supervisors meetings. Also, some of them got married. I just wished they cared as much about other important issues.

I blame the news media as well. Why in the world didn’t they every cover that one?”

Friday, May 24, 2013

Weather Journal

Chilly holiday weekend AMs

Fri, 24 May 2013 04:12:55 +0000

About this blog

    Metro Columnist Dan Casey knows a little bit about a lot of things but not a heck of a lot about most things. That doesn't keep him from writing about them, however. So keep him honest!

    He welcomes your rants, raves and considered opinions, so long as the language is civil (i.e. no four-letter words). He'll read all your posts and may or may not respond.

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