Mike Bailey (left) and Al Bedrosian

In case you were napping over the weekend, there was a cliffhanger Republican primary in the Hollins district for the party’s nomination for Roanoke County Supervisor.

Mike Bailey, the former county GOP chairman, tied with Al Bedrosian, whom the Roanoke Tea Party considers a almost the perfect candidate. Bedrosian ran for public office before and one year almost knocked off Del. Dick Cranwell,D-Roanoke County the then-House Majority Leader.

The Bailey-Bedrosian tally was 389-389, and the party is going to resolve the tie at 9:30 Tuesday morning, at the Roanoke County Administration Building, by drawing lots from “a dark bag.” Whichever name is drawn will get the nomination.

Why “a dark bag?” That’s the mystery. The term conjures many images, not least of which is a tool in a magician’s repertoire of gimmicks and trickery. There also are some black magic implications.

Bedrosian, who apparently believes nonChristian faiths should prohibited in the United States, might be unsettled by that. Why not a coin flip? Is that too simple? Would the candidates squabble over who got heads and who got tails?

Jesus, who cares?

Why not a game of rock/paper/scissors? They could video that, which would be a hoot. Or a contest of mumblety peg?  Or maybe an arm wrestling match — or mud wrestling!

In the newsroom, we wondered aloud about settling it with a game of Jenga. That was the game Mitt Romney played with his sons on election night back in November, before his campaign came tumbling down.

On this blog, one wag suggested resolving the tie with the game Say’n taters. Don’t ask me what that is. It sounds vaguely dirty.

What about a duel, at 30 paces, in Green Hill Park. The founding fathers were in favor of those. And we know guns are allowed there — remember the picnic last summer by Virginia Citizens Defense League? It’s just that firing guns is unlawful in Green Hill Park. Drat! Maybe they could use paintballs as ammo instead.

The funniest suggestion I heard all day Monday came from a colleague in the newsroom. I’d give him credit, but I’m not sure he wants it. It had a few of us almost on the floor, holding our sides.

“They should have a kid-slapping contest!” he exclaimed. I laughed so hard I got dizzy.

That would be unfair, though. Al Bedrosian, the ex-college bodybuilder and Xerox salesman, is far more experienced at that than Mike Bailey, the milquetoast insurance salesman.I can’t wait to see who wins.

Gov. Bob McDonnell | AP Photo

What do you think his chances are?

Mitt Romney passed over Gov. Bob McDonnell as his running mate in the 2012 election, in favor of the Rep. Paul Ryan, a congressman who has a bit more stature than McDonnell in more ways than one.

Then CPAC snubbed the governor by not inviting him to their annual conference of right-wing wackos.

But none of that has dimmed speculation that McDonnell would himself make a run for the top of the GOP ticket in 2016.

Today, more fuel got poured on that fire, when McDonnell’s Opportunity Virginia PAC sent out this email:

“Dear Friend,

Last night The Washington Post released a new Virginia poll. Read more »

AP Photo from CBS News

Gov. Bob McDonnell has come under all kinds of questioning lately about his relationship to Jonnie Williams, CEO of Star Scientific, a company that makes some kind of nutritional supplement from tobacco. Much of it focuses on the $15,000 in catering Williams covered for the governor’s daughter’s wedding, and the the nettlesome fact that McDonnell initially failed to disclose the gift.

This morning on a Richmond radio station, McDonnell explained why. It was a gift to his daughter — not him! Of course! Why didn’t we realize that before now?

From Roanoke.com:

Gov. Bob McDonnell says he always viewed a $15,000 check from a political backer to pay for catering at his daughter’s wedding to be a gift to his daughter, not to him, and felt no need under the law to report it.

I’m sure the FBI, which is investigating the case, will find this interesting. No doubt they will carefully scrutinize the payee line on that check. While the probe drags on, there’s an important lesson for us all to keep in mind: Invite Jonnie Williams to your daughter’s wedding! You might want to enclose the catering contract with the invitation.

(BTW McDonnell isn’t the only pol facing questions over “gifts” from Jonnie Williams.)

I wonder what Miss Manners would say?

Robertstown, Ga. | Wikimedia Commons

Your daily Letter to the Columnist — April 29, 2013

Dan,

I read your article about the Tea Party forum with interest. I also spoke just last night with Joe McNamara about the candidate forum with the Tea Party.

What you may not know is that the current extremist conservative group that controls the Roanoke County Republican Party will not allow ex-members of the Executive Committee back into the party if they believe that they are not conservative enough. The current chairman is professional political staffer who works for Ralph Smith. He is firmly behind this extremist group and their passion and ability to turn out volunteers. Read more »

What the heck has happened to politics in Roanoke County?

For evidence of its depressing state, you need look no further than the Roanoke Tea Party’s forum Thursday night for Republican candidates for the Board of Supervisors.

Tea Party hijinks have more or less driven Republican supervisors Richard Flora and Mike Altizer into announcing their retirements. Now, unfortunately, the Tea Party has hijacked the GOP issues agenda. The result was lots of hot air wasted on things that are part mundane, part insane.

One was the county’s membership in an environmental organization, ICLEI — Local Governments for Sustainability, which has long been thorn with the Tea Party.

Another was whether the county should have wasted taxpayer dollars fighting for unfettered prayer at board meetings. A third was whether restrictions on backyard chickens violated the constitution.

Loony-bin issues are bad enough. But the Roanoke County Democrats seem in even worse shape. Their problem is loony-bin infighting.

A bitter leadership struggle between former party chairman Richard Evans and Brian Lang, the current chairman, has hamstrung the party and dragged it into both civil and criminal court.

READ THE REST OF THIS COLUMN HERE.

Grafic by Dan

Guest Post — April 26, 2013

Note from Dan: Some of you will remember the video below, from March 2012, when police in Richmond mistreated women who marched on Capitol Square to protest Virginia Republicans’ “War on Women.” Well, it’s happening again tomorrow, and below, Sally Foster Mullikin tells us a little about it. She’s a Franklin County native who now lives in Richmond, where she’s active in a number of causes.

By Sally Foster Mullikin

Roanoke’s demographics have been forced into the spotlight of Virginia politics. Last year, starting in February, women throughout the State of Virginia and beyond descended on our State Capitol in response to Del. Chris Head’s (R-Roanpoke) co-sponsorship of the Transvaginal Ultrasound bill (along with Lynchburg’s Kathy Byron who drafted and sponsored it).

The women of Virginia were furious over this as well as a personhood bill and many other attempts by the General Assembly to force government into our uteruses. February began with a protest called “Speak Loudly with Silence” where nearly 1500 or more women, men, and children lined the streets of the Capitol from the administration buildings to the house chambers.

My fondest memory was Senator Donald McEachin with tears in his eyes walking the gauntlet of silent protestors saying, “thank you for standing up for your civil rights, God bless you.” After that initial rally, women’s rights supporters picketed the Governors Mansion and ultimately were arrested sitting on the steps of the State Capitol. (The essay continues below the video)
. Read more »

. . . was about the contest for Roanoke City Sheriff. Could either one of these guys get elected dogcatcher these days?

Photographed, and photoshopped, by Dan

The National Rifle Association is doing high-fives today. Using lies and midirection, they’ve defeated federal legislation that would tighten the requirements for background checks on people purchasing firearms. President Obama is angry. Watch:

Here’s a summary of his major points, from Think Progress:

1) “I’m going to speak plainly and honestly about what’s happened here because the American people are trying to figure out how can something have 90 percent support and yet not happen.”

2) “This legislation, in fact, outlawed any registry. Plain and simple, right there in the text. But that didn’t matter. And unfortunately, this pattern of spreading untruths about this legislation served a purpose, because those lies upset an intense minority of gun owners, and that in turn intimidated a lot of senators.” Read more »

Quote block formatted by Dan

The Post of the Day — April 17, 2013

Note from Dan: The following is by regular poster J.M. White. It was written on this thread as a response to another poster who complained about RWers derisively calling President Obama a liberal messiah.

“Most of my personal research into the matter reveals that the messiah meme originated when his own cheerleaders in ’08 called him “the one.” Of course, this was meant in reference to the real possibility of him breaking through the “good ol’ white boy” barrier to the presidency and not in any religious vein.

Naturally, the fundies got up in arms about it (as they do every new presidency) in their ever-persistent desire to bring about the Apocalypse. Seriously, when has some group not considered a new POTUS the Antichrist? They did it with Reagan. They did it with both Bushes. They did it with Clinton. They don’t want a Republican or a Democrat and they really don’t care about affiliation at all. They just want Jesus to come back; they don’t care how it’s catalyzed. Read more »

Saturday Night Live’s take on the gun control measure before the Senate.