In case you were napping over the weekend, there was a cliffhanger Republican primary in the Hollins district for the party’s nomination for Roanoke County Supervisor.
Mike Bailey, the former county GOP chairman, tied with Al Bedrosian, whom the Roanoke Tea Party considers a almost the perfect candidate. Bedrosian ran for public office before and one year almost knocked off Del. Dick Cranwell,D-Roanoke County the then-House Majority Leader.
The Bailey-Bedrosian tally was 389-389, and the party is going to resolve the tie at 9:30 Tuesday morning, at the Roanoke County Administration Building, by drawing lots from “a dark bag.” Whichever name is drawn will get the nomination.
Why “a dark bag?” That’s the mystery. The term conjures many images, not least of which is a tool in a magician’s repertoire of gimmicks and trickery. There also are some black magic implications.
Bedrosian, who apparently believes nonChristian faiths should prohibited in the United States, might be unsettled by that. Why not a coin flip? Is that too simple? Would the candidates squabble over who got heads and who got tails?
Jesus, who cares?
In the newsroom, we wondered aloud about settling it with a game of Jenga. That was the game Mitt Romney played with his sons on election night back in November, before his campaign came tumbling down.
On this blog, one wag suggested resolving the tie with the game Say’n taters. Don’t ask me what that is. It sounds vaguely dirty.
What about a duel, at 30 paces, in Green Hill Park. The founding fathers were in favor of those. And we know guns are allowed there — remember the picnic last summer by Virginia Citizens Defense League? It’s just that firing guns is unlawful in Green Hill Park. Drat! Maybe they could use paintballs as ammo instead.
The funniest suggestion I heard all day Monday came from a colleague in the newsroom. I’d give him credit, but I’m not sure he wants it. It had a few of us almost on the floor, holding our sides.
“They should have a kid-slapping contest!” he exclaimed. I laughed so hard I got dizzy.
That would be unfair, though. Al Bedrosian, the ex-college bodybuilder and Xerox salesman, is far more experienced at that than Mike Bailey, the milquetoast insurance salesman.I can’t wait to see who wins.