The Roanoke Valley and Salem crime maps are updated again, and we’ve also got a bonus for you crime data junkies – a summary of crime stats from the Salem Fair, which ran July 3 to July 13. It’s courtesy of the Salem Police Department.

You can imagine the fair keeps the police busy.

Take a bunch of people eager for fun, put ‘em in a confined space in the heat of summer, throw in long lines for the Typhoon and the Cliffhanger, and some people are bound to, well, get out of line.

In all, this year, the Salem Police report they arrested 28 people on a total of 38 charges.

“The small number of those charged compared to the huge numbers of people who come through the Fair over 11 days … is great as far as we’re concerned,” said Lt. Mike Green. “I’ve worked all 21 of the Fairs and the last couple of years’ have been mostly ‘non-eventful’ from a police perspective.”

Still, there are lessons to be learned by the less than law-abiding folks among us, and here are a few:

Lesson 1: If you’re vehicle inspection, registration or local property tax decal aren’t up to date, take a bus to get your funnel cake and see the world's smallest woman. Police issued 175 tickets and summonses for expired or missing inspection stickers, registrations and city/county decals. Green said this is mainly the work of bike patrol officers who work in teams on the fair grounds and surrounding neighborhoods. If they see a violation, they will -- obviously -- cite it.

Lesson 2: If you’re already in trouble someplace else, and they just haven’t caught you yet, don’t draw attention to yourself at the fair by causing a ruckus on the midway. Three young men turned up the fair who police were glad to see in attendance – they were served with outstanding warrants for crimes such as grand larceny, receiving stolen property and property damage.

Lesson 3: Leave the dope and rolling papers under your mattress. Four people – including two juveniles age 15 and 16 – were charged with possession of marijuana at the fair. The boost in thrill factor from riding the Zipper while your toasted might be tempting, but is it really worth a felony conviction?

Lesson 4: Likewise, if you’re a minor, leave the Marlboro Reds in the car. Three young geniuses were charged with underage tobacco violations. Way to be discreet, people.

Lesson 5: Finally, the fair sure is a bundle of fun at a good price, and it’s hard to leave it behind. But if you get busted ignoring any of the above lessons, and the cops take you by the arm and tell you it’s time to go, the smart play might be to just go along. Three uncooperative types wound up charged with obstructing justice and resisting arrest, includng a 15-year-old. A fourth fellow was charged with assaulting a police officer. Same goes if an officer tells you to beat it, and stay gone. In all, police issued 47 trespass notices, which are basically a warning not to come back, because if you do, they’ll charge you with trespassing. Do you really need to barf up your deep-fried oreos on the Tilt-A-Whirl that badly?

Here’s the full summary the police provided, with the names of those arrested removed:

TOTAL CRIME REPORTS …………………………………………. 23

- Disorderly Conduct/Fighting 7
- Public Intoxication 3
- Possession of marijuana 3
- Assault & Battery 3
- Warrant Service 2
- Property Damage 1
- DUI 1
- Assault on police 1
- Found property 1
- Police information (fireworks) 1

TOTAL NUMBER OF PERSONS CHARGED…………………….. 28

TOTAL NUMBER OF CRIMINAL CHARGES (ON ABOVE) ….. 38

Disorderly Conduct 13

- 15 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- 14 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- 16 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- Adult – 18 – Roanoke
- 14 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- 16 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- Adult – 23 – Roanoke
- Adult – 20 – Vinton
- Adult –33 -- Vinton
- Adult – 18 – Roanoke
- Adult – 27 – Roanoke
- 16 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- Adult – 28 – Roanoke

Public Intoxication 5

- Adult – 38 - Roanoke Co.
- Adult -- 61- Roanoke
- Adult -- 33- Vinton
- Adult – 27 - Roanoke
- Adult – 21 - Thaxton

Warrant Service 4

- Adult – 18 – Roanoke Co. (Salem Grand larceny warrant)
- Adult – 20 – Roanoke Co ( 2 counts of property damage – Salem)
- Adult – 18 – Roanoke (Bedford Co – receive stolen property warrant)

Possession of Marijuana 4

- 15 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- Adult -- 20- Roanoke Co
- 16 yoa juvenile – Salem
- Adult – 19 – Salem

Assault and Battery 3

- 16 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- 15 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- 11 yoa juvenile – Roanoke

Obstruct Justice/Resist Arrest 3

- 15 yoa juvenile – Roanoke
- Adult – 23 – Roanoke
- Adult – 27 – Roanoke

Tobacco Violation (underage) 3

- 15 yoa juvenile – Salem
- 14 yoa juvenile – Salem
- 15 yoa juvenile- Salem

DUI 1

- Adult – 50 – Roanoke Co

Unreasonable Refusal (per DUI) 1

- Adult – 50 – Roanoke Co

Assault on Police Officer 1

- Adult – 19 – Roanoke

TOTAL NUMBER OF TRESPASS NOTICES SERVED 47

TOTAL NUMBER OF UNIFORM SUMMONSES 19

- No or expired state inspection 8
- Fail to obey highway signs 3
- Reckless driving 3
- Speeding 2
- No or expired registration 1
- Illegal U-turn 1
- Follow too close 1

TOTAL NUMBER OF PARKING CITATIONS 172

- No or expired state inspection 106
- No or expired registration 45
- No or expired City/County decal 15
- Parked in wrong direction 1
- Parked within 20ft of crosswalk 1
- Parked within 15ft fire hydrant 1
- Blocking traffic 1
- No parking zone 1
- Handicapped zone 1

TOTAL TRAFFIC ACCIDENT REPORTS 2

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