Service rules (or does it?)
Those of you who keep a close eye on The New York Times site may have noticed that one particular business blog, “You’re the Boss,” recently racked up more than 1,000 comments in a short period of time – so many comments that they closed the comments after only a couple of days.
The topic? “100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part I).”
It seems this blogger, Bruce Buschel, is in the process of opening a new seafood restaurant and has been blogging about his experiences along the way. He devised a list of 100 service rules for his new staff and posted just half of them on his blog. The result, as I said, was astounding. Most people felt that Buschel had pretty much hit the nail straight on the head.
I’m going to paste the rules below. Please read them and tell me if you agree with them or not. I agree with almost every one, with the exception of a few that I think would make the server seem a bit impersonal and cold. But I think these skills are sadly lacking in lots of local restaurants. Is there a restaurant in all of Southwest Virginia that gets all (or most) of these things right?
From “You’re the Boss”:
1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.
6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.
7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”
19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.
29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.
30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.
35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.
37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.
38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”
39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.
41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.
44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.
45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.
November 3, 2009 - 10:57 AM
RSS feed 
Wow, that’s a lot! I disagree with part of #7 – as I do like an introduction.
I haven’t experienced every situation in the list, but I do know the wait staff at THE ISAACS is amazing – they have obviously have been trained very well on customer service and on their menu.
“Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.”
Indeed. What I would like to know is, why are they not level in the first place? Can somebody tell me why? Is it impossible to manufacturer a restaurant table that is level? Because most of the ones I wind up at are not. What’s with that?
My personal #1- Do NOT give the customer a pen with a prescription medicine name on it to sign the receipt…ESPECIALLY one that says Valtrex on it. No lie…it has happened…two times that I can recall.
Ick…just…Ick.
This is a good list. I do like knowing the server’s name however. It’s nice being able to address them directly or know who to compliment/complain about as the situation allows. I also don’t mind if they mention if a certain special is particularly good. I often wind up with 2 or 3 choices and ask their opinions on what is the best. And honestly, I guess since I am from the south, I do like a little banter and friendliness (nothing over the top, just enough to make it seem like the waiter actually enjoys their job and interacting with the people).
My biggest problem with wait staff in the past has been the premature “bussing” of tables while the diners are still there. Unfortunately, on too many occassions, I have observed them dumping everything from the table, including the ash trays, into and on the glasses and dining plates from the table, and I most definitely don’t want to observe your dumping this sort of thing onto a dish or into a glass which I have used and know will be used again. Obviously, the ash tray thing will not be such a problem anymore due to the new laws (thank goodness), but it would be nice to see more attention paid to when/how the bussing & also, sweeping, etc., around diners/customers still seated at a table is handled. My two cents!
I also strongly disagree with #7. Hospitality 101 is to introduce yourself. We have had the worst service in MOST places we choose to dine. We went to Ruby Tuesday’s last week and I ordered a steak and as the server set the plate down requested steak sauce and she never returned. Finally my husband went searching for some for me, as everyone else was done eating. But hey SHE REFILLED MY WATER as we donned our coats and left!
I take issue with #30. If the wine bottle has been sitting around a while, clean the dang thing before bringing it to the table! If I drank wine (and I don’t, can’t stand it), I would care about the vintage of the wine, not the crud on the outside of the bottle.
Otherwise, most of the points are pretty good, though it seems as if the point is to be very methodical, precise, and rigid. I prefer wait staff with some personality, who we can converse with here and there. If I had a waiter/waitress who followed this set of rules to a perfect T, I’d likely not request them later. Someone who is friendly, personable, responsive, and courteous…I’ll ask for them again.
There is a waiter at the Red Clay in Rocky Mount that we now ask for by name – his name is Carson. I have let the owner know as well, that he is the best server we have found there. What does he do? Just his job. Very simply, he is pleasant and does his job. Doesn’t plop down in the booth next to you to be your new best friend, doesn’t interrupt incessantly every 5 minutes.
Other times we have been there, plates never cleared, waters never refilled, have to wait 15 minutes to try to ask for the check, one time our waitress was having a domestic with her boyfriend the cook and never came back, another time the waitress had scabs and pick marks all over her arms as she placed the food before us. Mmm appetizing!
Be professional, serve what we ordered HOT, be available and SMILE. We are not the enemy – we are the ones paying your bills.
Dan
The feet on the tables are adjustable and some will tend to screw into the leg. That makes the table wobble.
I agree, some of the items listed would make a server feel impersonal or robotic. I totally disagree with #7 though. You should know who your server is and you should be greeted with “Hello, my name is Jane and I will be your server tonight” or something similar. Most of all if a server is courteous, respectful, friendly and does their job well then that’s all that matters to me.
re: No. 49: My husband and I went to Arzu a few weeks ago for our 5-year anniversary. Everything was great till the end, when we handed the server a coupon (which we had showed him when we arrived) and asked for our check and he said, “I’ll be right back with that, but the gratuity is not included. It’s supposed to be 18 percent of the bill before the coupon.” Did he think we wouldn’t look at the tab and figure it up ourselves? Or that we didn’t know you should tip on the full bill? We’ve been there before, we were dressed nicer than anyone else in the place, and we’re not kids.
I mean, it’s already embarrassing using a coupon at a nice restaurant, but we would have gone somewhere else if we hadn’t had it, so you’d think he’d be grateful for our business anyway. If the restaurant is going to look down on people who use coupons, why do they offer them? What sent us over the edge is that when he came back with the check, he said it again! “Don’t forget, gratuity is 18 percent ON TOP of this figure.” Our bill — minus the gratuity and the coupon — was nearly $200, so despite the coupon, the place got a pretty penny from us.
We will NOT be back to Arzu.
I absolutely agree with #7 & #17. I know we’re in the South but I’m so tired of being called “Sweetie” and “Honey”. I don’t mind knowing the waiter’s name, however. Nothing irks me more than asking or attempting to take my plate before I am finished. For some reason I always seem to be in the area they want to VACUUM, which is also crazy.
Recently I have had good service at Sal’s in Radford and Alejandro’s in Roanoke (FYI, Alejandro’s is coming to Christiansburg). Although Alejandro’s is casual, they still do a great job with service. They replaced my incorrect order quickly and perfectly…. water glass is always full
I agree with many of the items listed, however, I strongly disagree with No. 7 – Do not announce your name. I prefer the wait staff to offer his/her name at the beginning of service. I find it much more polite to converse with someone calling them by their name and not “hey you”, “waiter/waitress” etc.
Gretchen, I don’t blame you for not going back after that. Simply not acceptable. To that end, another one that bugs me is when they ask if you need change when paying in cash. Obviously, if I do not want my change and for you to keep it, I will say so when you return for the check. It is not your place to ask.
I actually agree with #7. I get tired of my servers acting like we’re going to be big buds for the course of the meal. I’ve been happy with “miss” or “sir” to address my servers for years.
I wish the author would add on #51 “Don’t tell your customers you’re going to take “real good care of them”. It’s hideous.
“How is it tasting to you” is also frightful.
Good one, Gretchen. If a server did that to me, I would be sure to NOT tip them the full 18%. Pam, I can only imagine your suggestion about change will appear in the second 50.
It occurs to me that this list seems geared toward high-end, big city restaurants, although all restaurants should have high standards for service. Do you all think these same rules should apply at a roadside diner?
Your comments are also making me wonder if we just feel a little differently about things in SW Virginia – is it because we are used to Southern hospitality that we don’t mind hearing the server’s name or having a little friendly chit-chat?
I get all riled up again just thinking about it. How did he think it was ok to order us to give him an 18 percent tip? The tip is supposed to be 15-20 percent, depending on how much we liked the service. We never tip below 15 percent anyway. We’re the people who linger at the table after the meal if we’re with people we know tip badly, so that we can add onto their tip.
Personally, I don’t see a need for specific universal rules of restaurant service. I agree that they make the server seem robotic and awkwardly formal. Different diners have difference preferences for service–some may want a more personal touch (e.g. offering suggestions), while others may prefer their servers to keep more distance. The same is true for interrupting conversations: I think it’s usually pretty apparent when this is appropriate and when this isn’t!
That being said, I’m a college student and used to terrible service when I’m out with a group of my peers, even when we go to formal, urban restaurants.
Do the servers at Outback still sit at your booth if there is an empty setting? I always found that a bit disturbing…
Meze, a tapas restaurant in the former Trio’s down on the market in Roanoke is supposed to open Monday 11/9 – A waiter named Ryan is excellent! I got to go to a soft opening last week- The food and wait staff were really good.
I agree with most of the rules. I love #23 and as for #41, have no problem with “No problem”
We generally tip very well for our service, especially if we stay at the place longer than our meal, because we know that we’re taking a table away from the server for that time. If the server is a good sport and stays up with checking on us, filling drinks, asking about desserts, clearing empty plates, and the like, we have tipped upwards of 50% depending on the total bill. My take on it is if we order a typical $30 dinner for two, and we stay for the length of time they could have served 2 tables, we’ll tip higher to make up for it and for the good service.
Now, when we get poor service, we make sure to grab a manager and speak to the side about it. We’ve only had to do that a couple times, but it was because our server played Houdini and dissapeared after delivering our fod. No courtesy check to make sure things were good, no drink re-fills (we actually had another server help us, and we gave her the tip instead). But for the most part, we have had good service almost all of the time, and we’re quite thankful for it.
Great list…my biggest peeve is #17. I am a slow eater and I hate, hate, hate when the server tries to take away the other plates while I’m still eating. It’s quite rude! I can’t tell you how many times my husband has told the server not to take his plate away while I’m still eating and gotten weird looks from them when they try.
I disagree with #7 also. I like it better when they introduce themselves. #49 can “do you want change” relate to that one? I will leave a tip but that one ticks me off. I hope the second half has a rule for keeping drink in the glass no mater what it is. I hate when I run dry. I too have asked for steak sauce and they don’t return. Worse of all is when you dine by your self and get ignored because a bigger crowed comes in. More than once I have been seated before them and get my drink after (and sometimes my order) after they do.
Good lord Gretchen how awkward. If a restaurant is going to issue coupons, it’s up to them to let their staff know A) those coupons are out there and B) take the coupon with a polite smile and no further comment.
I find Arzus oddly dark and a little creepy…I know lots of people love it there, so that’s probably just my own issue.
Like virtually everyone else, I disagree with #7. If for no other reason, you want to be able to say – ‘Our waiter’s name is Jason and he STILL hasn’t refilled our tea. Can you help us, please?’
#2 is a big one for me, as I often dine alone. Not so much what was listed above, but the fact that a lone diner will get the worst table in the house every time. You know the one – right next to the kitchen entry, or the refill station, or the restrooms. I have actually had hostesses tell me “Well you’re alone so we need you to take this table.’ My normal response is something to the effect of – ‘Treat me like a human and seat me with everyone else’, or more typically, I just leave after telling them why I refuse to eat there.
#18 & 19 to me are signs of a waitperson taking their job seriously. I always like to see that.
#20 is an indicator of the restaurant’s overall attitude towards customers. Don’t chisel me about a 75 cent difference in fries and mashed potatoes, because that inflexibility just cost you $2 in tip money. It’s not like I’m ‘going off the menu’ and ordering something you don’t already have prepared in the kitchen, and we both know it.
#30 should read – wipe down EVERY bottle of wine you present at a table. End of story.
#33 – accidents happen. I’m okay with that. Just apologize and move on.
Working in food service is normally a thankless job, and if someone does it and shows enthusiasm about doing it, they should be recognized for that. For me, the more friendly my waitperson is – without getting cozy – the more I tip. If I’ve got a bubbly waitress who is obviously new and makes some mistakes, but tries hard, she’s getting 25+% from me. If I’ve got an attitude case, they’re getting 15%, unless they screw up and don’t try to correct it, then the tip goes down further. The vast majority of the time, people show their effort, and are to be commended for that.
The first sentence of #7 is debatable, some like to know their waiter’s name and some could care less. The second sentence is valid, in my opinion. Also, don’t chew gum while you’re waiting tables. And, Dan, I have to wonder if you had reservations to all those places that gave you wobbly tables.
Disagree with #31 – I’m often a light eater, and I get very tired of being put on the spot about whats left on my plate. If there is a problem, I will mention it, but don’t make me feel awkward for not eating the whole oversized portion please.
You all continue to leave great comments.
I agree that cleaning the wine bottles makes more sense than what is stated in #30. What could possibly be the reason for leaving dust on a bottle? To show how long it’s been sitting around in the cellar, aging? Frankly, I would not be surprised to find someone who likes seeing that.
Yet Another John, I am torn on #31. What if the wait person very politely asked, “was there anything wrong with your dish?” and you just said, “No” if that was the case? I’ve been in both positions, where the food was bad and where I felt ill and could not eat. I guess my personality is to complain about it if it’s bad
I am noticing some trends here, though – most of you completely disagree with #7 and don’t mind a little banter so long as it isn’t over the top.
Are there any waiters and waitresses out there reading this? Restaurant owners? What say you??
Oh, usually an “was everything alright?” is fine, but often the issue is pressed a bit too much for comfort – I try to head it off with some kind of “i’m stuffed, great meal” comment
I think I read #7 differently than the rest of you. I guess it’s just semantics, but I think ‘announce’ and ‘tell’ are two different things. I thought he was just saying, don’t make a big production out of introducing yourself. Either way, doesn’t matter to me. I shamefully admit to not usually catching the name anyway.
I’m not a waiter but I’ve worked customer service and cashiering operations and often a small bit of light conversation can help the customers feel more appreciated than simply trated like cattled being run through the checkouts. Plus, sometimes it can help the customer remember something else they needed, which saves them a frustrated trip at a later time. Granted, retail is a bit different than dining, but there are some commonalities. When people feel respected and treated well, and treated like an individual with some focus on them as a person, they will remember that and become more loyal to shopping/dining in that store/restaurant. If they have a bad experience or feel like they were just a number or a receipt, they will not only not return, but they will pass the word along to friends, family, and anyone willing to hear of it…often resulting in a drop in the potential customer base. Bottom line: if you’re a service employee do your job well, treat the customers with respect, quickly and courteously correct any problems, and help the customer have a good experience they will remember so they come back. You don’t need a list of 50 rules to do it either, just some common sense.
While some of these items fly in the face of good Southern hospitality, many are great advice for the many servers who are just getting by. Great service can make an average experience better and be the icing on the cake to a great meal.
In ref. to today’s print article, my wife and I went to Alexander’s for the first time the other evening after our primary location was closed for a private event – and boy are we glad they were closed! Alexander’s was AWESOME!! Great food and excellent service with those little touches that separate them from the herd, like room temperature butter and (for reservation tables) putting water glasses on the table before the guests arrive. Our server (we didn’t get her name because she didn’t tell us (see Rule 7 – although I don’t necessarily agree with it) was clearly a professional and it showed at every point. The training plan outlined in the article is a great idea and probably helps explain how they have been in business for thirty years, and one that others would be wise to emulate.