The two-hour premier just wrapped up and I have to say, it sure took Simon a while to get mean. It took 45 minutes for Simon to let go of one of his mean-spirited quotes. "Nothing about that was right. You've got zero chance of winning," he told Udgeet "Udi" Sampeet after his rendition of a Barry Manilow song. From that point on, Simon's mean spirit stuck around.
He likened one female competitor to Willem Dafoe as the Joker. Another as "possessed," and a few dudes were just "creepy" and one girl was "identical to a nightmare." Are these insults tamer than usual? Or is it just that we're used to them?
Maybe it's just me, but there was no real "wow" factor here. Perhaps I'm just desensitized to this stuff by the 7th season, but I just didn't feel blown away by anyone -- good or bad.
Twenty-nine contestants from the Philly auditions made it through to Hollywood. For now, let's talk about the obvious head cases who didn't make it first.
1. Alexis, the sparkly pirate: I'd actually love to go have a beer with this girl. Can you imagine the night you'd have? When she wasn't flipping off the cameras, she was "actressing." This girl loved having the camera follow her around. She didn't even need an audition. One minute she wanted to be a singer, the next an actor. (What up, Madonna...) And, Simon didn't even say anything to her but she blasted him on camera anyway. It was a total rip-off. Her audition was so anti-climactic that she had to act like it was the worst experience ever. Anything for the cameras. Maybe she would make a great actress. (If you caught the brief interaction between her and her mom, though, it all became apparent. Mom's a nutbag, too.)
2. Sexy Face: Singing "Mr. The Bee Gees," sexy face, aka Yuka, said he loves American girls and is waiting for the right girl, "from the hair to the nipple." I mean, did anyone really think this guy was going to make it through?
3. James Lewis: He's the guy who sang "Go Down Moses." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Randy and Paula laughed, but it made my stomach hurt. I felt like something was truly wrong with this kid. Maybe I shouldn't clump him in with the head cases.
4. Princess Leia: I did think she had a point about how the judges always say yes to the stereotypical hotties. Then I remembered that, no, they basically just say yes to normal people who can sing. Sorry, Leia. I mean, really. Come on.
The tear-jerkers
1. Temptress: There's always a contestant who's "doing this for my mom." This year's was middle linebacker Temptress. I always feel sad for these folks, don't get me wrong, but did we need the whole Simon-has-a-heart-of-gold-and-will-walk-you-out-the-door theatrics? I don't think so. We expect it from Paula.
2. Angela Martin: I did actually tear up on this one. Much the same way I did when LaKisha auditioned last season. And she became my favorite throughout the entire competition.
The average Joes:
1. Joey Catalano: This kid lost 200 pounds. That's impressive. It's also impressive that he was the first person to try out in Philly. And he made it. That rarely happens. I thought Joey, if he lived in Roanoke, would frequent TGI Friday's out at Valley View Mall.
2. Junot Joyner: He sang an awesome Elton John song. So awesome I don't even remember it. We'll see more of him, though.
3. Jonathon Baines: The 17-year-old had great hair and also sang well. Again, average because I don't remember what he sang. And I didn't even write it down.
4. Beth Stalker: The Scarlett Johansson lookalike made it through, too. She sang "Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered." Simon nixed her, but Randy and Paula gave her a thumbs up.
Tidbits:
Most interesting name: Shekhinah Bathyehuahahahxlpo....
Hottest girl: Kristy Lee Cook from Oregon (It even sounds like an "Idol" winner's name! And, she sold her horse to make the trip to Philly.)
Hottest guy: Chris Watson, who sported a classic seersucker blazer and killer dreads.
Weirdest moment: When Benjamin Haar actually got his chest shaved because Paula asked him to. What an idiot.
Most changed: Randy's facial hair. He has mutton chops now.
Forever the same: "Forever Your Girl" Paula Abdul. She (kinda) spit out three words this entire show. Also, Simon's v-necks.
Tune in Wednesday for auditions from Texas.
Comments
[January 15, 2008 11:48 PM]
JenI'm with you on Kristy Lee Cook. She was definitely the hottest. Hands down.
My personal favorite moment tonight? When the Star Wars chic was going off on her cell phone about stereotypical people being the only ones to make it through. But all the while, the cameras were showing the variety & diversity of the people actually going to Hollywood. Screw you Princess Leia. Go busy yourself with the Force.
[January 16, 2008 10:38 AM]
Lindsay DurangoI'd have to agree, Wendy, that the Wow Factor is gone.
I only caught the last half hour or so of the show, but it felt even more like a side show than usual.
And what was with them airing footage of the creepy stalker guy? Inappropriate! I'm afraid it may mean the show has passed the point that it's at least *mostly* focused on finding talent, and stepped into the lowest lows of reality television, where shows ask "How much money can we make by humiliating people?"
Arguably it's done that for a while, but this is the first time it creeped me out!
[January 16, 2008 4:49 PM]
LuluI agree with you Lindsay. That guy was way creepy and I was surprised they let him sing for as long as he did. AND let him get closer to her.
I thought that was actually rude to Paula.