Why are people so mean?
A still image from the video in question. But we pose a different question: Why can't people disagree without calling each other names?
They say fools rush in where angels fear to tread, so I suppose I know what that makes me, but I find it hard to resist on this one.
Somehow, I’ve found myself on some chain mail going back and forth that has produced some very nasty comments. It makes me wonder: Why are people so mean to one another?
The original chain mail concerns a You Tube video of Michelle Obama at Sept. 11 ceremonies in which she whispers something to the President. There’s a whole rumor-mill out there purporting that an interpreter for the deaf has analyzed her lips and concluded she said “All that for a damn flag.” The fact-checking site PolitiFact debunks that here, giving it a “liar, liar, pants on fire rating.” The Urban Legends site also debunks it here.
But let’s not worry ourselves with what she did or did not say. What got my attention was the tone of this e-mail exchange that I was copied on. First, the original e-mail:
Click here: Michelle Obama’s “All this for a damn flag” shown at three different speeds – YouTube
I love and respect our Old Glory, no respect from this president and the first idiot. What a shame they are in the White House. I just put up a flag in my yard yesterday, I love the flag and all it stands for. May God Bless and Keep America.. In God we Trust
That prompted this response from someone else on the e-mail chain, a fellow named “Chuck” who identified himself as a retired Air Force veteran:
Please do not continue sending me junk regarding political parties. When the other party becomes as bad as the Republican Party, you may commence sending such junk again. I thought we had been through this before. By the way, when did the ‘First Lady’ acquire the title first idiot? You know, if you tear down the office of the president until it is no more than that of a Third World country, you won’t have anything when and if you ever win back the White House.
And that, in turn, produced this counter-response (note, some bad language is edited out here):
Chuck, or may I call you Candd, I have to wonder why I got this a– hole note since I never sent you anything nor ever heard of you. Speaking of idiots, I am surprised you object to ‘First Idiot’ as it usually takes an idiot to recognize another idiot. I find you to be the first military person to support Benedict Hussan Sorento. I spent five years on Army active duty and have a twin brother that spent a lot of time in an F-105 over Vietnam and Cambodia. He retired as a Col. We both think Benedict is a disaster and traitor. Since I have never sent you anything, never heard such stupid and ill informed statements, and fortunately do not know you, I have no intention of contacting you. It just doesn’t seen fair to have an intellectual contact with an un-armed idiot. How did you ever get in the Air Force? I thought they only took people with at least a modicum of intelligence.
All of which makes me wonder: Why are people so mean? It’s fine to disagree, but can’t anyone have a civil conversation anymore without calling someone names?
July 27, 2012 - 1:10 PM
people mean? hah. forget about nationally. lets go local. the tire slashing incident at dale ave. is another example of trashy downtown roanoke. no matter what project to improve it- buildings,restaurants, condos, it still remains an armpit. roanoke will never be anything but dirty roanoke. i hope the tire slashers go to hell. boy, that left a great memory for those volunteers to take home. face it- downtown roanoke sucks.
#1 giles – Perfect response considering this story. Why are you so mean or do you not think you are coming across as being mean?
Hannity, Limbaugh, Malkin, O’Reilly, Savage, Boortz, Drudge, Breitbart, Beck…
People are mean cause its a mean world out there. And nice guys finish last.
Even though it seems people are purposefully mean, I think it is more a matter of no respect. People no longer respect anyone who disagrees with them. Then they feel the need to put the other person down to prop up their own arguments. Maybe nice guys do finish last, but count me in. “…and the last shall be first”.
Most people are just mean with their keyboard. The vast majority of the comments on blogs would never be made face to face.
If you find out the complete answer to this question please let me know so I can solve most of life’s problems.
It’s one reason why I mostly stay away from commenting on blogs like this anymore, because a large portion of people who comment almost always resort to name calling and mean spiritedness if you don’t agree with them.
I suspect a good deal of the answer lies in people either being very unhappy with their own lives and/or also being highly insecure.
Nice guys may finish last but two wrongs don’t make a right.
I feel better about myself in last place than being a mean spirited jerk who always has to be right and treats people like enemies when they don’t agree.
mean? you want to see mean. go to neighborhoodscout.com and look at roanoke crime statistics. you will be surprised, i guess. violent crime especially. if you think downtown is on the move-think again. so- blogger ernie you better go back with bert to sesame street. get real. and keep believing our america is doing just fine.
Wow, what a subject and that video is a perfect example of how far we have fallen. I had a similar conversation today and the consensus was that we have changed from the more community based mentality into everyone for themselves and woe unto others in their path.
Back in our Founding days, people pulled together to survive and learned the benefits of it. During the Depression, same thing, WWI, WWII, and every war effort we engaged in brought people to the military and the rest of us to their backs. It has not been that way since Vietnam. We used to trust our leaders, we now question their very citizenship and right to serve. We used to know and socialize with our neighbors, now we often do not even know them. We used to have tight families that took care of each other, now families are as split, divided and separated as strangers.
Sure the internet and the cover of anonymity give many keyboard commandos the green light to attack, demean and have an insult contest. I agree few would say what they type in a face to face.
There was a time when you could leave your doors unlocked and the keys in your car. People used to respect others beliefs, belongings and space. Now, it is some sort of coup to see how far you can take anything and what you can get off someone who worked for what they have.
Many would like to blame it on the inner city mentality, poverty or lack of education but how does that explain Wall Street? Very well educated, traveled, experienced people believe 9/11 was an “inside job”, the moon landing was “faked”, and anyone who disagrees with them should not be breathing American air.
I have no earthly idea how you fix that. It seems to be getting worse, not better as we supposedly “evolve”. Personally, I think we need to put the “d” in front of it and tell the truth of what we are doing.
FWIW, I fully realize that hate has always been with us. Prejudice, bigotry and hate have always had a place, it just used to be in hiding and unacceptable to bring it out no matter how many people agreed with you.
I don’t LIKE this explanation, but I must agree it makes sense: We did not choose to end slavery, it was forced. We did not choose to end Jim Crow, it was forced. We did not choose to allow abortion, it was forced. We have not chosen gay marriage and when it too is forced, it will meet the same hatred and refusal. Maybe too many people simply cannot accept a big change that is not of their choosing?
I agree that the vandalism to the volunteer vehicles was low. So is stealing pensions from companies you “invest” in.
I can’t watch the video here, but I will. I will read her lips for myself. As for being mean, Art Hill is an example. He called out every conservative talk show host and website he could think of. Yet nowhere did he call out the many liberal pundits that act as bad or perhaps worse. So he makes an assertion that it is all because of the conservative.
To me, this conservative/liberal seesaw is a ludicrous thing. It is hard to take seriously, except for us all being headed somewhere in a handbasket.
My set of values says this: In order for government to give something to someone, it MUST take it from someone else.
I am not talking of Roads and Armies.
I am talking of welfare, bailouts, anything like that. Now we have this system. I did benefit from it. A pell grant help me some of the way through college. Let me be the first to say – If you pay more in in taxes than you get back, Thank You!! You had no choice in the matter. The government gun was pointed at you when you paid in. You did not pay for my benefit. Yet still, I thank you. If the tuition had not jumped 400% over time, I may have been able to pay for myself.
So is it hypocrisy for me to complain about big government….maybe so. Yet, I think things would be better if it were smaller.
The fact is that our government has slipped the leash, turned rabid, and is consuming us all. Wealth is not a static quantity, but consider this. I have a quantity of water representing all the wealth in the country. That water is apportioned in a government glass and a private sector glass. As the government class gets more of the water the private sector’s water in it’s glass must be less. In a shrinking economy this is even more so. I do feel that if you are anti-capitalist, you are immoral. That is an absolute value of mine.
Just some things that made America great – Capitalism, Individualism, Small Government that put the individual and the individual’s rights first. Freedom of religion, of expression. Freedom to bear arms. Freedon from unreasonable searches and seizures. I could go on and on. The only terrible thing in the genesis of our country was slavery.
Lincoln got rid of slavery. He did not do it for the slave. He did it to criple the south’s economy. Until hostilities, the north benefited from slavery every bit as much as the south. (It enjoyed the fruits…) Regardless, Slavery was gone. Unfortunately, Great damage was done to power of the individual state. The constitution was entered into voluntarily by soveriegn states. When the southern states left the union, they had every right to do so. They voluntarily joined, why couldn’t they leave? Moving on, this erosion of state power was furthered when the popular election of federal senators was made law in an amendment to the constitution. At that point, the state governing body lost any impact on federal proceedings.
Moving on to today, we have a federal government that has ambitions to directly rule all citizens. It would do away with state governments if it could.
So why is everyone mean? When the moral ways to live are made out to be ugly, the ugly things are held as moral instead, it is very difficult for people to remain good. Do you realize that many laws are written with the expectation that they will be violated? The violation of such laws is a money making machine.
I dont think there is any real conspiracy. I think many factors are converging to show us the ugliness of the credo: From each according to his ability, To each according to his need. After all, isn’t it this credo that is at the heart of welfare? Isn’t it at the heart of the Healthcare Bill? Isn’t it at the heart of any socialist and most liberal agendas?
I was immersed in this sewer the same as we all were, but I am trying to climb out. I am trying to get to the point where I can practice this credo: I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
A little late for that party David in Salem.
And, you left one of the “hearts” out. “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more” is at the heart of the morality taught in the Bible. Was Jesus into “welfare”? Was Jesus into the Health Care of others? Was Jesus a Socialist? Did Jesus have a “liberal agenda”?
“No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend’s were.
Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.”
~John Donne
Blame the government that we elected. Not my fault. Blah, blah, blah. If the citizens of this country could ever objectively look in the mirror they should puke. But they can’t and they won’t.
The need for a national common conversation has never been more acute. The signs are all around us. The profusion of fractious talk radio and bias disguised as cable news, costume parties that provide great televised spectacle, but reflect a poor understanding of our country’s history. And national leaders spouting violent metaphors instead of well-reasoned dissent.
The danger in all of this is great: More heat than light, more bite than right.
President Gordon Gee, OSU 5/4/10
There is lots of negativism out there. The candidates run negative advertising that crticizes and attempts to define the other candidate and his opr her philosophy. Some of it is fair game. Some of it is not. Some of it is totally dishonest, including the slasdhing out of a single sentence and totally distorting its meaning when it is shown in context.
But that particular email is very typical of any number of trash emaiols that have been circulated by the extreme right tearing down President Obama and attacking the First Lady. Democrats run negative ads, but in the past four years I have never received an email that attacks Republicans, Republican candidates, former President Bush, Dick Cheney, or any other Republican politician in such derogatory, hateful, and vile terms. Lots of criticism of policies, lies poointed out, etc., but nothing as personal, bigoted, and hate filled as ghe ones attacking the President and the First Lady. They are a sad commentary on the intelligence and hate filled personalities pf the people who design and send them.
@14 Well…Look at the pot calling the kettle black..
People typically go mean when they have no valid argument, are on the wrong side of logic, or lack the intelligence to convey their point effectively. On a side note I don’t know how this article spurred paragraph after paragraph of attempting to blur the lines between being a tight knit community and socialism but that seems to be constant on these blogs regardless of the topic.
JohnBrown, the news of the demise of the “Red Threat” hasn’t reached some.