2009.11.03
Terrific Tuesday: Funerals
It's Terrific Tuesday again! How's everything in your neck of the woods?
I buried my beloved cousin Debby Reynolds today who died from complications of the flu, though now we aren't talking about that. I accepted the awesome responsibility of writing something about her to deliver at the funeral.
Hug those you love tonight. Call someone you have been meaning to call. Go visit a friend or relative you haven't seen in awhile. Check-up on those folks who are sick by phone and often.
Cousin Debby:
Debby was my first cousin. Her mom and my dad were siblings and her baby brother Johnny Boy and I were less than a year apart in age. To me, Debby and her sister Sherry and cousins Susan and Diane were like stars on the horizon when I was a child. If I ever had regret in my life it is that I never had a sister like Debby, not that it hasn't been interesting having a brother, but just not the same. What they shared was incredibly special. I only hope my own two daughters will be as close as they have been.
I recently read "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom. It's number one on the best seller list non fiction right now. Albom spent eight years preparing to write a eulogy for his childhood Rabbi, "The Reb," he called him. He writes of faith, what keeps us looking up and that one day we will all be together again. To be forgotten, the second death is what we fear, that which takes away our existence on this Earth is for no one to remember we were here.
I ask you today to remember Debby Reynolds and what she meant to each of you. I have tried to faithfully remind my own family of those who have gone before me. What an impact the departed leave on those they loved. Who each of us is today, is in great part due to those who have raised us, have been family or befriended us and that is why we honor them for the gifts like Debby left to us like love, happiness, laughter, comfort, kindness, friendship. The list goes on.
That is why God granted us, His greatest creation, made in His own image, the blessing of memory. Oh the sweet memories we carry of Debby Reynolds. November 1 is All Saints Day on the Christian calendar, and every year since I married into Petra Ewen's family, it is also the day I celebrate Day of the Dead or Dia de los Muertos. I make a list of ten things I loved about the people I lost during the year and say them in a prayer thanking the Lord that I have these beautiful memories.
Though it broke my heart to acknowledge that indeed Cousin Debby had died. Here is the memory list I made for her on Sunday.
1) Debby had a beautiful smile. It was the first thing you noticed about her. I discovered in the drawings and writings by the students of Mountain View Elementary in the visitation room last night that her smile was something most of them wrote about. I will always remember her smile and I believe they will, too.
2) Debby loved her son. Seth Helms Reynolds was one of the most loved children on the face of this Earth from before the first moment she held him. What a joy and blessing he has been to her and Johnny Reynolds and the whole family. I know she would want Seth to remember the thousands of good things they had together and not the way her life finished.
3) Debby Reynolds loved her sister. Sherry will have many hard days, but she is the bridge between the past and the future for Seth and Johnny now and for future children we all hope Seth will have. What a loving pair of sisters they have been for the past 58 years. The lake house is a symbol of their parents, but even more of sisterly devotion.
4) Debby was a great family member. Family was everything. Sabra, Johnny, Sherry, Debby and Johnny Boy were the All American Family. 35 years ago she added Johnny Reynolds to that family. God bless him as the days go on. When I think of our family, The Thomas family Christmas tree cut comes to mind and it went on at our farm from the late 60s until the mid 90s. Debby often started the carols as we rode along on the hay wagon looking for Christmas trees. After we got back, she'd play carols on our old piano and we'd stand around and sing--sometimes off key and sometimes on key. Those were the best of times.
5) Debby was a comforter. When my husband Bobby Benson died in a car crash and left me a widow with two small children, she stayed right by me. I hope she always knew how much I loved her for that. When the dust settled and every one wondered why I wasn't over my grief in three months, Debby kept loving and caring.
6) Debby collected beautiful, interesting and often fun art and décor. P. Buckley Moss, Cats Meow, Snowmen, Longaberger baskets, Boyd's Bears, and cookbooks are among the many items. Walking into her house, you can feel her in the rooms because you know she had an eye for things that reflected her heart and they were all beautiful. She was an excellent cook and used her cookbooks. My husband George Ewen loved her fudge-"the best ever" he has always said. Her chicken salad was a step above any other I have eaten. Whatever she made for our parties and picnics was always extra special because she made it with love.
7) Debby loved children and her job. Everyone should be so lucky to love what they do as a profession as much as Debby Reynolds loved her job as librarian at Mountain View Elementary School. One night a few years ago we were eating at Golden Corral and some soccer kids came up to her and said, "Mrs. Reynolds we just loved the book you read today about the duck." They hugged her leg and bounced off with their parents. Debby beamed at me and said, ‘That just always makes my day."
Debby had the most beautiful handwriting. It was nigh on to perfect. It breaks my heart to imagine that I will never get a card addressed in her printed hand ever again. She took time to make the things she did for others to be carefully done and to her best ability even if it was addressing a card or writing a note. It made you feel special to get mail from her.
9) Debby had a great laugh which often followed that winning smile. She laughed like her mother Sabra and it was a laugh that caused others to follow suit. It will be one of those things that we will miss the most because no matter what type of gloom might surround the event, her laughter swept it away!
10) Debby loved Christmas. Her home was full of the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas and much of it, like her favorite snowmen, were year round. The great Gift of Christmas is love-Jesus was the Great Gift of Love sent by the Father for us. Debby embodied the spirit of love. It is appropriate to say of Debby a paraphrase from "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, " And it can always be said of her, that she knew how to keep Christmas well...."God blessed us with Debby Reynolds. Though heaven's gain is our loss, may we fondly remember her all the days of our lives. Debby is now what Albom writes in ‘Have a Little Faith,' "You are a star in His sky, a warm feeling in our hearts...we believe that you are with your forefathers, your family, and at peace." Amen.







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You write a beautiful story even on one of your saddest days. Thank you.. So many people pass on, and nothing is ever written about them. This brings tears to my eyes, and joy to my heart, that we can remember Debby, as you do.
Comment by Rena — November 3, 2009 @ 10:55 pm
Dear Cathy,
What a wonderful tribute to your cousin, Debby. Thank you so much for sharing your sweet memories. My deepest sympathy to you, her son, husband and the rest of your family.
Comment by Martha Alphin — November 4, 2009 @ 12:34 am
I was at Mtn View from '85 to '90. I remember Mrs Reynolds very well. She was always so positive and she always made me feel special. I'm so sorry to hear this news. In sympathy, Sarah
Comment by Sarah — November 4, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
Very well done,I'm sure she will be missed.
Comment by terry austin — November 6, 2009 @ 4:52 pm