2009.06.02
Contest No. 2: Let's rename 'Liberty' U -- to just about anything BUT Liberty (w/ an update, below)
The late Rev. Jerry Falwell, founder of Liberty University
Liberty University yanked funding from revoked the status of its student Democratic club because it supports a national party platform that's in opposition, university administrators say, to almost everything that Liberty University stands for. They also decided, during a review of student organizations that the university may in the future fund, not to fund the Democrats.
Some readers have suggested that, given this ham-handed action, the university change its name to just about anything but "Liberty."
So I'd like to hear your ideas. Let's rechristen that august institution with something more accurate, eh?
Call me or e-mail me with your suggestions, or post them as comments here. And explain why your idea is a good one -- bonus points will be awarded for humor.
The winner, chosen by me, will receive a hardcover copy of "The Big Book of Irony," by Jon Winokur, St. Martin's Press, 2007.
Be sure to include your address and contact information, which will NOT be printed, and your full name and locality, which will. The deadline is Monday, 12:01 a.m.
UPDATE: Author Jon Winokur says he's honored I have chosen his book as the prize, and is donating a signed copy. I'd already ordered it from Amazon.com -- so now we'll have TWO prizes. Top prize gets the autographed version, runner-up will get the unsigned copy.
Here's a link to a review of the book.
Theocracy College. It seems as though they want to advocate ruling by religious dogma and doctrine, so it fits...since Liberty implies a general and profound freedom for choice and acting that is obviously discouraged within the confines of that fine institution.
Comment by Other John — June 2, 2009 @ 11:17 am
Why don't we name it "Limbaughty" University? In reference some the ex-con, drug addict, biggot we know?
Comment by Juan R. — June 2, 2009 @ 11:32 am
When LIBERTY University becomes a place where you're not allowed the freedom to use your entire brain, it becomes.... LOBOTOMY University.
Comment by snapasnort — June 2, 2009 @ 11:36 am
Actually, the name Liberty is well suited. The Democrat agenda of statism, political correctness, christian bashing and redistribution of wealth is an anathma to liberty. I can think of no university that promotes the ideals liberty(ie. individulism, freedom, self reliance) better than the university up the road in Lynchburg.
Comment by terps suck — June 2, 2009 @ 12:07 pm
Expensive Private School That Indoctrinates Youth With Beliefs That A Great Invisible Sky Wizard's Doctrine Determines The Way That All Shall Live And If One Is Not Precisely In Line With That, They're Going To Burn For An Eternity University.
That might be a little long, come to think of it.
Maybe..
No Hugs Longer Than 3-Seconds University
Comment by biglickbaron — June 2, 2009 @ 12:29 pm
Tyranny University is by far and away the most appropriate name for a school that suppresses freedom of speech.
The Founding Fathers would be appalled, as would our veterans whom fought and died protecting our precious rights and values. The whole idea that an institution that enjoys tax free status can decide what is or is not appropriate political speech violates everything our country and its constitution stands for.
Actual extra credit question on a Liberty U Evangelism 101 course final; “Noah’s ark was big enough to accommodate various species of dinosaurs.”
I wonder what class teaches impressionable young minds what caliber handgun they should bring with them into church to murder Doctors.
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 12:44 pm
I read the post above, by Terps Suck, with a certain amount of awe and the strange feeling that he's living in an alternate universe.
The way to fight political correctness on a campus is to clamp down on a bunch of college Democrats? Huh?
Comment by Dan Casey — June 2, 2009 @ 12:48 pm
Dan, that reeks of liberty and freedom there. When I think of a place that promotes freedom and individualism, the first thought I have is of a school that wants everyone to think the same and spread the word to everyone else, to get them all to act individually identical to one another. Yeah, that makes sense. Sounds too much like Regent University...Pat Robertson's pet project to churn out robo-Christian lawyers to 'spread the word' and 'counteract dastardly liberal lawyers' in the system.
Comment by Other John — June 2, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
Terps Suck, your Freedom Fries are getting cold, so waddle your NASCAR lovin' butt back to the trailer and eat up boy!
Comment by Not this again... — June 2, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
Dan
Can you get me a one way ticket to this "alternate universe" where half the population doesn't feel entitled to live off the taxes of the other half,believing in God does not subject you to ridicule, and individual liberty and freedom trumps group rights.
Liberty university promotes these values well and you are having to dig deep to unearth these whining, misguided Democrats who claim to be abused.
Comment by terps suck — June 2, 2009 @ 1:58 pm
Jerry Falwell was a great man with a great love for people. He was a preacher who put his money and his efforts into what he believed. He preached abstenence and against abortion and opened a home for unwed mothers. He preached against being drunk and opened a place for rehabilitation.He preached against the tyrany of sin and it's inslavement and founded one of the greatest ministries in the world. He has helped untold thousands if not millions of people to live full and productive lives. It sickens me when misinformed ignorant people ridicule and slander him. The university has a right to support whatever group it sees fit to. Liberty University is a very appropiate name for a school that is founded on the beleif that only Christ can set people free. It has nothing to do with the relative thinking of our day.
oh buy the way Dan, why would someone who agrees so strongly with an agenda that is so contrary to a universitie's stated purpose want to pay all that money to attend there anyway. There certainly are a lot of other institutions to chose from that promote the politcally correct religion.(oops i'm sorry, dogma)
Comment by will — June 2, 2009 @ 2:09 pm
Terps suck,
I think you have missed a great point that Will touched on in the comment above: The Holy Bible cares little for democracy -- that form of government is not mentioned in the New Testament at all.
Besides that, I should have noted that Will is correct on another point: "The university has a right to support whatever group it sees fit to."
We, on the other had, have the right to call Liberty U whatever we want to. And that is the purpose of this exercise. Let's find something far more fitting.
Already, there are many good suggestions on this board. Keep them coming, folks!
Comment by Dan Casey — June 2, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
Will and Terps suck,
Jerry Falwell was not the great man you say he was. Why don't you research his activities regarding the founding of the institution and the ensuing SEC investigations. Or his remarks about 9/11 and his belief that the gays, lesbians, ACLU and the "seculars" are to blame for the attacks, "I point the finger in their face and say, 'you helped this happen'" he was quoted saying. This man attacked Teletubbies for being homosexuals. Jerry Falwell was a closeminded bigot and his University is a farce. The university's rules alone are laughable, the administration making this decision is the cherry on top of a cake made of lies and hate. I have friends who were essentially forced to attend this joke of an institution and site actually attending as the biggest mistake both of them have made in their lives. How about "Christian Fascist University" or "Feet-on-the-Floor University". "Brainwash University" works too.
Comment by Jeff — June 2, 2009 @ 3:23 pm
New name: Newspeak University.
Or maybe some witty spin on the preference of Liberty for pseudo-science like ID?
Comment by Rob — June 2, 2009 @ 3:26 pm
How about Fair and Balance University? Seems in lock step with that other "fair and balanced" place.
It does bring to mind one question. Are you scared of ideas? If you have the right and moral postion shouldn't that triumph over evil? Why would you ban it? Just expose it to the light of day and if you are the superior argument you would win, correct?
Comment by Mike — June 2, 2009 @ 3:48 pm
Maybe Salem University would be good. I hear they were burning witches with the blessing of the church there. I think they should burn a few of the Democrats at the stake.
How about Inquistion University? Put on the rack or boil them in oil in the name of Christianity and Rightousness.
Did anyone there read the New Testament?
Comment by Mike — June 2, 2009 @ 3:52 pm
University should be removed from the name, it doesn't deserve the status. How about:
The Falwell School for the Purging of Impure (anything not radically right wing or Evangelical Christian) Beliefs, Ideas, Thoughts and Actions
Comment by Jeff — June 2, 2009 @ 3:53 pm
Mike,
Inquisition University is too Catholic. They hate Catholics at Liberty. Racking Democrats or boiling them would be too Catholic and they wouldn't want to be confused with that sort of riff raff. Lynching Democrats would be more appropriate, they are in Lynchburg.
Comment by Jeff — June 2, 2009 @ 4:26 pm
Telletubby U?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:33 pm
How about T3 for Treasonous Teabagger Tutorials?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:37 pm
The Benny Hinn/Creflo Dollar/Jerry Falwell/Tammy Fay/Swaggart school for Homophobes, Bigots and Osteens?
Comment by Not this again... — June 2, 2009 @ 4:38 pm
The last refuge of Scoundrels?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
The school for scandalous Sycophants?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:41 pm
Kool-aid College?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:43 pm
Not this again,
I was following you until the Osteens. Had to look that one up! Obviously, you're sharper than I on the subject of televangelists.....
Comment by Dan Casey — June 2, 2009 @ 4:45 pm
The mosque in the mountains?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
The madrasah for mouth breathers?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:49 pm
Institute for hillbilly higher education?
Comment by Steve — June 2, 2009 @ 4:53 pm
"Credits Not Likely To Transfer University"
Comment by Jeff — June 2, 2009 @ 5:29 pm
Didaskaleinophobia U. With Fallwell in charge of Liberty U., I can see why students would be afraid to go there.
Comment by Jim — June 2, 2009 @ 6:29 pm
were the fish in the ark? or did they swim alongside?
Comment by john john — June 2, 2009 @ 7:34 pm
Hi Dan Casey
I enjoy your column very much. I don't always agree with you but I admire the way you express your ideas.
The "Virginia is for Lovers" contest has been great fun. My brother lives in Florida and has been keeping up with the rest area controversy via the paper. The slogan change contest has given him (as well as a lot of Virginians) a good laugh.
I would like to enter my suggestions for a name change for Liberty University.
Liberty has a long history of inflicting rules on their students with the intention of forcing them to embrace the doctrine of "Falwell Perfection". This translates into anything dictated by this school is the perfect answer to all of life's troubles.
For this reason I believe the name "Our Way or No Way U". would be a perfect fit.
Comment by Becky Witt — June 2, 2009 @ 10:58 pm
Oh my goodness!
The pressure is on. There are so many good submissions. Gonna have to put a lot of brain power into this one. Maybe I should ask jerry Falwell's brother! I used to work for him..... Don't think he's a big fan of Liberty University, but do think he is a fan of Liberty!
Comment by deda — June 2, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
Deda, Are you talking about Jerry Sr.'s brother, or Jerry Jr.'s brother?
And what do you know about him that the rest of us don't?
Comment by Dan Casey — June 2, 2009 @ 11:17 pm
Jim,
Thank you for the submission. But you're gonna have to explain "Didaskaleinophobia" to the rest of us (or to me, at least) in another comment.
Comment by Dan Casey — June 2, 2009 @ 11:19 pm
I tried to think of witty and wonderful ways to professionally refer to the backwards thinking that occurs at Liberty and in Lynchburg, without being quite as derogatory as some of the above entries. Hypocrisy U? nah... too biting... Falwell U? Nah, that shows too much pride, and pride is a sin.
After long deliberation, I came up with the following:
University of the Rapture.
Come to delightful University of the Rapture, study very hard, because you never know when The Rapture might occur! You can't get into heaven without your $60-$100,000 education.
The irony of University of the Rapture? When you graduate you'll neither have a complete education, or a rapture experience. Except of course the one that occurred in your wallet when you wrote your tuition checks to the Falwells and Thomas Road Baptist Church!
This does beg the question: do you think Liberty University has an official policy on refunds in case of Rapture and you're left behind? If they believe in fairness, honesty, and their Christian Doctrine they preach, they better have something on the books or there could be a lawsuit. But then again, theoretically, they'd all be sucked up into the magic hole in the sky, and wont have to refund anything and have nothing to worry about.
Comment by scott — June 3, 2009 @ 2:11 am
While I disagree with the way the issue was handled how is this any different then tax payer funded colleges banning religious groups on campus or the left wing liberal education experts in CA banning ROTC groups from HS and colleges because they disagree with them.. Why is it ok for that and not for Liberty to take the action it has.. Its a double standard in my estimation so either Liberty can do what it wishes will organizations it disagrees with or the religious groups (and I might add similar issues with college republicans being abused and such on college campuses in the NE and Far west) needs to stop all together.. If we truly want fairness then it goes both ways.
Comment by DJ — June 3, 2009 @ 3:12 am
Didaskaleinophobia is a phobia of going to school. It is also a type of separation anxiety, which is an inappropriate fear of leaving parents, or home,or a person or place of trust for example...but in the case of Falwell and Liberty University it may be more appropriate than inappropriate.
Comment by Jim — June 3, 2009 @ 6:11 am
I think a fitting name for Liberty would be " God Hates Democrats University" ....aren't these the same hypocrits that claim to be pro- life yet are advocates for the death penalty.....I guess when God delivered the Ten Commandments he left out a line....Thou shalt not kill....unless you are a scumbag! Give me a break....so much for forgiveness and men are created equal!
They need a place on their application next to gender.....NO DEMOCRATS ALLOWED!
Comment by Thomas Brighton — June 3, 2009 @ 6:45 am
RNC - Republican National College
Comment by Sandi Saunders — June 3, 2009 @ 8:17 am
Or you can just call it SSA University! A** backward that is!
Comment by Thomas Brighton — June 3, 2009 @ 8:57 am
The late Reverend Jerry...... His brother is a really great guy! My understanding, at that time, was they did not get along well. Jerry's brother was a volunteer fire & rescue, when I worked for him, and a real stand up guy! Never met Jerry's wife, but she was asked to be on the board of my private high school and agreed. Then she never showed for any of the meetings until they informed her if she did not show at the next meeting she would be removed from the board. She showed.
Everyone who becomes super rich and powerful uses some sort of platform to become so. I have a famous evangelist in my family tree, fortunately not too closely related. It does not thrill me at all. Of course using religion as a platform for this is not new. It seems to me by now we would have curtailed it a bit more.
Whatever happened to 'Do unto others as you would have done unto you'? According to what I know of Christianity, we are not supposed to be the ones to judge, God is. So why does this wealthy University do so? It saddens me. I know a lot of folks from all different walks of life and I have to say just because someone believes in Christianity, it does not mean they behave any better than anyone else.
Comment by deda — June 3, 2009 @ 9:38 am
Let;s put a sign on it what reads: Bigotry school.
Comment by pirateanarchist — June 3, 2009 @ 1:21 pm
Please forgive me if I am repeating others' (brilliant!) submissions - I have a limited time during lunch to comment.
IU (Incredulous University)
CU (Christianist University)
POSU (Piece of S*** University)
CCI (Christianist College for the Insane) (Insipid also works)
Comment by Tom Woolf — June 3, 2009 @ 1:25 pm
Four Horsemen University
Bigotry University
University for Alternatives to Science
Holy War University
In God We Trust University
AIPAC University
Creation University
University for the Illiberal Arts
Christian Jihad University
Virginia Monotheistic Institute
Comment by leek — June 3, 2009 @ 1:43 pm
Loathsome
Indoctrinated
Brotherhood of
Evangelical
Right-wing
Tyrannical
Yahoos
University
Comment by Steve C — June 3, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
While I disagree with the way the issue was handled how is this any different then tax payer funded colleges banning religious groups on campus or the left wing liberal education experts in CA banning ROTC groups from HS and colleges because they disagree with them.. Why is it ok for that and not for Liberty to take the action it has.. Its a double standard in my estimation so either Liberty can do what it wishes will organizations it disagrees with or the religious groups (and I might add similar issues with college republicans being abused and such on college campuses in the NE and Far west) needs to stop all together.. If we truly want fairness then it goes both ways.
Comment by DJ — June 3, 2009 @ 3:12 am
we just disagree with their use of the word "liberty" in their name.
obviously if the community in California does not want a military presence near them, they don't have to have it, but they don't have the name on their sign that reads: "we love the military".
We do want fairness, obviously if you go to a place founded by Falwell, you live in a community of right-wing types.
This contest is about the name being a lie, and isn't lying a sin? sure paints a picture of the true nature of the "moral majority"
I don't want any of that 'morality' I be a pirate!
Saucy be His Noodleyness! RAMEN be upon followers of the FSM!
http://www.venganza.org
Comment by pirateanarchist — June 3, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
Federal Union City Kollege University...
Comment by NotOne — June 3, 2009 @ 2:01 pm
jeff, i have researched jerry falwell, have met the man and attended meetings with him. you people are the closed minded bigots in this case, speaking of things you have no knowledge of.if you really want to be open minded(which i highly doubt) read his book "strength for the journey". sometimes when you understand where a person comes from, you can understand their views. he never claimed to be perfect,(Becky) nor preached it. A true Christian does not consider himself perfect, just forgiven. as for some of the other comments, it just illustrates the closed minded and bigoted anti-christian, anti - God mind set of the world we live in. most of you people would rather support the moral views of larry flint. well, that's where this nation and the world is heading so good luck with that.One more thing Deda, while it is not my right or job to judge anyone to salvation or condemnation, it is my obligation to disern for myself what is right or wrong and live accordingly. I also have as much right to influence people toward my point of view as anyone. I know i'm long but one more thing for Thomas. the difference between a person being put to death for a crime and an uunborn baby is obvious. the baby is innocent. Again I think Liberty University is a perfect name.
Comment by will — June 3, 2009 @ 2:29 pm
How about Liberty FU.
Comment by duane — June 3, 2009 @ 3:45 pm
LU should actually be named Falwell University (FU). It would look good on the Great Logo, otherwise known as "The Scab" they put on Chandler's Mountain overlooking Lynchburg. Think of it - FU pretty well defines their attitude towards the city of Lynchburg and anyone who disagrees with them.
Comment by G. Bryan — June 3, 2009 @ 3:51 pm
`Theocratic University of Religious Doctrines' or a nice acronym of "TURD"
This name describes exactly what this great edifice of de-learning is all about. It is the font of total Medieval concepts and ideals shared by fundamentalist Christians through history.
"Theocratic" Obviously, this font of lower learning has its true role in furthering, under the guise of "education," the undying prosthelytization of the religious dogmas, etched since childhood in its students' minds. The theocratic part pertains to the ultimate desire to impose religion as the cornerstone of America's Morals and governance.
"University", a place of higher learning made of "colleges", even this place has a level of "higher" learning, though it may purvey the distorted pretzel logic of religion (Dinosaurs and humans, how they fit all those critters on Noah's ark (and they STILL forget the CENOZOIC animals,(I'm a paleontologist)). Their concept that a zygote has rights as an adult human (could it vote?) and though it is nothing more than a blastocoele, is it superior to sponge larvae?? Interspecies inequality!!!! So it does pose intellectual challenges (BOY does it EVER!!!).
"Religious" This cuts to the quick. Religious is really what this supposed "University" is all about, Creationism, debating whether there is a "Limbo" "Purgatory" or whether Cro-magnon Man had a soul and deserves Heavenly residence. Do they study harp music theory? Is it Ionic, Doric or Pentatonic mode? So they'd have religious music teaching too!! Religon is the Buzzword for this institution (Like MENTAL institution?)
"Doctrines". Clearly pegs exactly WHAT these courses and ideas/agendas will be, absolutes, unwavering, unchanging, based on BLIND faith. Just like religion, Immutable.
Theocratic University of Religious Doctrines'
TURD The Acronym says it all. Rotten, stinking, the absolute total remains of all that man can be capable of, digested down to one lowly accumulation of the remaining reject. Its only usefulness is to be flushed away and treated as biomass in a composing facility. The the allegorical representation, total falseness.
Comment by Jacques — June 3, 2009 @ 4:05 pm
Jacques - chritianity is not about religion it's about a relationship with the true and living God. and as far as all your educated theories that seem so able to put down what you do not understand, I am so glad that my God is not limited to what my puny human brain can understand. the epitamy of human arrogance, to be my own God and limited to my perceptions of the universe. this is a perfect example of why we need places like LIBERTY UNIVERSITY
Comment by will — June 3, 2009 @ 4:46 pm
The obvious choice for the new name of Falwell's University :
F*** U.
Comment by Howie from the Bronx — June 3, 2009 @ 5:18 pm
all theocratic (religious founded) universities should be taxed.
Comment by ken — June 3, 2009 @ 6:58 pm
Will-
That is fine Will. We all affect and influence people whether intentional or not. The point, and no I did not elaborate before, is that if I were to decide a person is impure simply based on my beliefs in God or Buddha or Allah or whoever I believe in religiously that is passing/making judgement. It just is. I do it too. Everyone does. The concern is when does it become detrimental to basic human rights. Liberty is, I think, a private university so they can remove whoever they want without harming them in the most blatant and obvious ways. But for many of us that way might be viewed as harmful for their natural and legal human rights.
Your view on punishment concerning the death penalty greatly concerns me. I am a pacifist. I understand what you mean and recognize it as something you embrace and believe. And yes, if I were being attacked I might fight back to that degree of violence which could kill a person, but your death penalty belief means someone has judged the person and someone else has killed them..... thou shall not kill. We all hope we never have to go through something so closely tragic that we want someone to die for their actions and I do hope this has and will never happen to you. Truly, I do hope you will find more comfort with the anti-death penalty views in the near future.
I see folks are coming down hard on you over your comments. That is not my intention. I do hope you will remember what you wrote.... "sometimes when you understand where a person comes from, you can understand their views" .........as you read those responses. Many blessings to you!
Comment by deda — June 3, 2009 @ 7:36 pm
"Neverland U"
"Hack Factory U"
"Unprepared U"
"Denial U"
"We Hate U"
"JesusLovesMeButHates U"
"WasThatARamOrA U"
or, my favorite, "HolierThan U"
Comment by SteveA — June 3, 2009 @ 8:05 pm
Although Wasthataramora U has a nice ring to it. Did Horsely go to Liberty?
Comment by SteveA — June 3, 2009 @ 8:10 pm
"L"acking "I"ntellect "B"igoted "E"xtremist "R"evisionist "T"otalitarian "Y"ahoos University
Comment by michael — June 3, 2009 @ 9:02 pm
Thanks for the rants, everyone, but let's just tell it like it is:
Conformity University.
We can all get along, as long as you all do it our way. Free thoughts and reasoning are to be sanitized by prayer before discussion. Woe be unto thee that dares to think differently. Blessed Be Conformity!
Comment by James — June 3, 2009 @ 11:35 pm
Lynchburg (State?) Penitentiary
A jail is the only place I know of where there is no freedom as well
RAmen!
Comment by Tristan — June 4, 2009 @ 5:40 am
I also like "Libertine University" that kind of disregard for the norm needs to be flown on a flag.
Comment by Sandi Saunders — June 4, 2009 @ 7:55 am
Will
A great man does not blame the actions of extremists on homosexuals, the ACLU, secularists and basically anyone who didn't agree with him. I had family die in 9/11 and its disgusting that he had the audacity to suggest God was punishing America for allowing homosexuals and logical people from existing and exercising their freedoms in this country. A great man does not considered himself "forgiven" or "saved" simply because he opens up a book written thousands of years ago by individuals with an inferior understanding of the natural world, and preaching it as literal truth and damning all those who do not believe to hell. Falwell himself was an extremist and the fact that you follow his teachings and beliefs, YOU ARE AN EXTREMIST. Either rename Liberty or stop posting on this thread.
Comment by Jeff — June 4, 2009 @ 1:26 pm
deda, thanks for the kind words in yourlast paragraph. i think i was misunderstood in my comment about capital punishment. i am not a strong advocate of the death penalty i do believe it can be a deterant to capital crimes if administered fairly. i do take issue with taxpayer money having to be spent to support criminals who have no regard for the lives of others. but i do not consider myself a strong supporter of the death penalty. i know i would hate to be the judge or the jury that has to determine the fate of another human being. it is a fact though that in places where the death penalty is inforced, the capital murder rate is lower than where it is not.
what i was pointing out to thomas,"the same hypocrits that claim to be pro- life yet are advocates for the death penalty" (his words), is that there is a big difference between an innocent unborn baby and a convicted murderer.
Comment by will — June 4, 2009 @ 1:34 pm
And Will
Just because the vast majority of the worlds population, leading scientists and theorists don't believe in the Evangelical version of the world, its creation and Christ does not make them anti-God, anti-Christianity. Its LOGIC and REASON and using the most complex mechanism devised by evolution to analyze the natural world and base beliefs and truths on observable phenomenon. Did God come down to you and every other "true Christian" and personally tell you that you were forgiven? NO. Could you be anymore self-righteous than to proclaim that you are saved. Could you be more fanantical and morbid hoping for the the apocalypse? What kind of a lunatic prays for and waits excitedly for the apocalypse to come. If it does come, it won't be because Christ is coming to "save" you, it will be because nuclear weapons will be raining down on all of our heads because of closed minded extremists like you.
Comment by Jeff — June 4, 2009 @ 1:43 pm
Will,
Its fascinating that you admit that your brain is puny. That you are so confounded by the world that you are willing to believe whatever Jerry says. Its wonderful that you have beliefs that comfort you and help you sleep at night like the belief that you will be saved. It must be so comforting. Ignorance is bliss they say. Jerry got rich and you and everyone else who follows his teachings got stupid. Which was his plan. To make people like you into stupid drones that do whatever he says and waste your money on his disgustingly decadent Thomas Road Baptist Church and the POS known as Liberty University. You must have attended Liberty University, sorry, Brainwash University because if you hadn't you wouldn't have such a low opinion of your own brain.
Comment by Jeff — June 4, 2009 @ 2:30 pm
Why not keep it as Liberty University? Given that it's a private institution, it can support or not support whatever cause it wants to. The real liberty comes in the student's choice as to whether they stay there or not. See, the school, right or wrong, is standing behind its principles. If it means that much to the democrats on campus, they can transfer. You know, stand up for their own principles. Then, if this really is as big of a deal as everyone seems to think it is, liberty will continue to play out as future students choose whether or not they want to attend the college. If more and more people exercise their choice not to go there, then the school will have no choice but to close down. At which point, it won't need a name at all will it? Liberty is all about the choice of both parties involved, not just one.
Comment by Dave — June 4, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
Regent University--Lynchburg Campus
Comment by Dave — June 4, 2009 @ 2:49 pm
First off Mr. Casey... why are you feeding into this lie of a story by the lovely media for attention? I cannot think of ANY Liberty sponsored club that has received funding, therefore, the Democrats club isn't really losing anything. They're actually gaining more rights. But instead of being an honest reporter/blogger you're just feeding into the ridiculousness of modern day reporting. As far as renaming this school... Liberty is a private school and can do whatever it pleases - the name defends the school. "Liberty" -- freedom from gov't control, freedom from physical restraint, do you get it? If these students don't want to follow the rules, leave.. it's that simple.
Also for all of you who are giving your best comedic attempts, you too are failing. How about instead of listening to the false hype that the media so loves to garner you ask other students the REAL facts behind the college. The one where some of us are getting educations so we use proper grammar, and can have better jobs than being internet blogging liar. Congrats with your best attempts to become the next Perez Hilton.
Comment by Brittney — June 4, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
Brittney
Do you believe that God placed dinosaur fossils in the soil to test humanity's faith in the creation story?
If so, thats some education your getting.
Comment by Jeff — June 4, 2009 @ 3:51 pm
And your proper grammar is pretty pitiful. "Congrats" "can have better jobs than being internet blogging liar"
It should be "being a internet blogging liar" or "being internet blogging LIARS" since you used the plural "jobs". Some education. Have fun trying to get a job with a degree from Liberty.
Comment by Jeff — June 4, 2009 @ 3:56 pm
Hey folks,
I'd prefer it if we quit calling each other names or criticizing grammar. Arguing over ideas is fine, and call me names, or criticize me -- I'm fair game. But let's lay off slams against other posters, and try to stay more "on topic" with this contest.
Please?
Comment by Dan Casey — June 4, 2009 @ 4:15 pm
My apologies. Liberty is a sore subject.
Comment by Jeff — June 4, 2009 @ 4:20 pm
Dearest Jeff,
My reason for attending Liberty is because I have a full ride to nursing school. I'm pretty sure I can land any job I want to with that degree, I'll let you know in a year. And you can knock my beliefs all you want to, America gives people the right to choose ignorance. Point is the name Liberty is very appropriate, administration does whatever it wants and doesn't have to answer to anyone else. As far as evangelism, Penn a very well known atheist explains Christianities motives quite well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JHS8adO3hM
Comment by Brittney — June 4, 2009 @ 7:01 pm
Brittney,
Thank you for pointing out that the college Dems weren't getting Liberty U money to begin with. I corrected that in a subsequent post.
Cheers, Dan,
Comment by Dan Casey — June 4, 2009 @ 8:49 pm
Why not Taliban University, since they seem to have a similar affinity for liberty?
Comment by Therese — June 5, 2009 @ 9:59 pm
While they're at it, how about changing "Lynchburg" to something less KKK-like?
Comment by Therese — June 5, 2009 @ 10:01 pm
Liberelitely Brainwashing Academy
Only those fully cleansed of thought can attain the heights of elitism: To sit at the right hand of God (Dick Cheney).
Comment by Barry — June 6, 2009 @ 12:48 pm
How about Conformity College? Our motto: “Toe the line, or hit the road.”
I gotta say, some of the comments are amazing. It's astonishing what some people will trick themselves into believing.
Comment by Erle — June 7, 2009 @ 2:28 am
Brainwashing Gulag
Gutteral, ugly, proudly defiant...
In other words, perfect.
Comment by chgo_liz — June 7, 2009 @ 11:07 am
Believe That and I'll Tell You Another One University
Comment by barry — June 7, 2009 @ 11:12 am
Citadel of Ignorance
And the symbol should be two monkeys, one holding his hands over his eyes the other over his ears, from which the institution's slogan is derived: "See no evil-Hear no evil."
A closed mind is wonderful thing.
Comment by Keanus — June 7, 2009 @ 11:13 am
How about 2 Kings 2:24 University.
That's the one with the 42 kids and the bears made hungry by the lord.
Comment by Hughes — June 7, 2009 @ 11:16 am
For those who wish to attend a learning institution like Liberty University, which in some aspects has become another monument to ignorance, like the Creation Museum, then that is their choice. We are free to do what we want in America, hopefully without dictating morals to others.
However, the use of the word university in this case is misleading. Maybe University of Christian Fundamentalism might be more appropriate.
Comment by Robert — June 7, 2009 @ 11:22 am
FFF or Falwell's Funny Farm.
Comment by Otto — June 7, 2009 @ 11:33 am
The Theocracy Trade School.
That covers both lies in "Liberty" "University".
Comment by Ferrous Patella — June 7, 2009 @ 11:35 am
American Neoconservative Anti-Liberty University.
Go ANAL U!
Comment by Ediacaran — June 7, 2009 @ 11:40 am
"Dogma U"
Comment by Facely — June 7, 2009 @ 11:42 am
I think that 'Creotard College' has a nice alliterative ring to it.
Comment by DuckPhup — June 7, 2009 @ 11:47 am
Lack of Liberty University
Comment by bluescat48 — June 7, 2009 @ 11:48 am
I'm going to have to go on record with Church and State Together At Last University. Kinda says it all, yes?
Comment by mysie — June 7, 2009 @ 11:55 am
What about Unseen University?
Comment by Dax — June 7, 2009 @ 11:55 am
Judging by LU supporters, here:
Whiney Epistemologically Asinine Sycophants Lacking Essential Syllabi University
Comment by Ryan F Stello — June 7, 2009 @ 11:56 am
Well first of all it shouldn't be called anything "University". Universities and colleges are halls of nonsense, this is the greatest of God's truths lo these many years. They also produce people who think it's okay to fake the moon landing just to impress the world (this has been PROVEN). I think it should be called something like Jesus Moves Mountains and So Can You, but then the LIBURRAL MEDIA would spin that and make us seem like sectarian fundamentalists and even our great prophet Bill O' Reilly couldn't fix our image. Oh, how about that? Sectarian Fundamentalist School. Magic School. Biberty Buniversity.
Comment by t-super — June 7, 2009 @ 11:56 am
They should be charged with false advertising and fraud for even having the words 'liberty' and university' in their name.
Comment by Ben — June 7, 2009 @ 12:04 pm
The "Not Really a University" would be accurate.
Comment by Irene — June 7, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
How about:
Liberty Freedom University with the official unofficial nickname of "Freedom For Us".
I feel that whatever the "university" is renamed, there should be some F's in the initials.
bob
Comment by Bob Kowalski — June 7, 2009 @ 12:06 pm
Instead of a new name, how about a series of dry heaves? It's what I do anyway whenever I talk about Liberty University.
Comment by Elliot — June 7, 2009 @ 12:08 pm
Holier than Thou U.
Comment by Robert — June 7, 2009 @ 12:09 pm
Think stadiums! You should be able to get advertising fees for something like "Hungry Man University".
...
"One pound of beef with every degree!"
Comment by Tyler — June 7, 2009 @ 12:11 pm
Hollywood upstairs law school.
Comment by Mark Stevens — June 7, 2009 @ 12:14 pm
Subjugate University or Subjugate U. for short.
"…to bring under the yoke of power or dominion : conquer by force and compel to submit as a subject to the authority of another."
Comment by Buridan — June 7, 2009 @ 12:16 pm
UnthinkingU
Comment by Kompani — June 7, 2009 @ 12:19 pm
How about "LOBOTOMY U"? Only those who have had the rational part of their brain removed need apply.
Comment by Callie — June 7, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
The Pinnacle of Ignorance
Comment by glenn — June 7, 2009 @ 12:25 pm
Ignorance University or rather Ignorance School
...no actual university could be that ignorant about the blatant contradiction between its name and its actions, about the age of fossils and the evidence for evolution.
Comment by Raiko — June 7, 2009 @ 12:26 pm
If it's in Lynchburg, why not call it Lynch University? They get to keep te same initials, and warn about what will happen to those who don't agree with everything that Falwell says.
Comment by Darren — June 7, 2009 @ 12:28 pm
Since stifling all opponents is a staple of Christianity, why not just call it Christian Liberty University? Its actions certainly do reflect the religious right's view of liberty. Its motto could be, 'Where you can fall into a well of superstition'.
Comment by Chakolate — June 7, 2009 @ 12:29 pm
I think the name liberty is perfect. As mentioned previously, it's obvious newspeak. "Liberty" in this context is a joke. Sure, it literally means freedom from [whatever], but in this context it is perverted to mean, Freedom to Delude Ourselves and Others.
Anyway, Liberty U has been in the news quite a bit lately, which is sweet because more employers and grad schools will know what it is right away when they look at applications. A Liberty Degree will forever label grads as as "Deliberately-Ignorant Fundies."
Comment by parallax — June 7, 2009 @ 12:30 pm
Dogma Central - Where superstition trumps reason
Comment by Darkumbra — June 7, 2009 @ 12:37 pm
You're changing the wrong word. But if you insist on swapping out "Liberty" too, just call it the Buried Matchbox Diploma Mill.
Comment by One among the Pharynguhorde — June 7, 2009 @ 12:43 pm
Diploma Mill, Inc.?
Or, Liberty* U, where the asterisk clearly connotes a definition of liberty that excludes sex, dancing, interracial dating, and liking dudes.
Comment by ACG — June 7, 2009 @ 12:45 pm
"Ignoranceis U"
Comment by Triyaka — June 7, 2009 @ 12:53 pm
I think it should be called Post University.
We could call their grads "Dumb as a Post",
And its initials would spell PU.
Comment by Dennis Lynch — June 7, 2009 @ 12:57 pm
I like Fascist Theocracy University. It's direct and says exactly what the school is about.
Comment by Mr. Black — June 7, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
DCU: "doesn't Count U", as a reminder of the value of an LU degree when applying for work that requires an education.
Comment by Typical Employer — June 7, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
Ludicrous University. At least they won't have to change the logo.
Comment by R J — June 7, 2009 @ 1:15 pm
"I Can't Believe It's Not A University"!
Comment by Falwell is in H-E-double-hockey-stick — June 7, 2009 @ 1:21 pm
Indoctrinate U. Where Lernin takes a back seat to luvin us some Jebus
Comment by m_t_sac — June 7, 2009 @ 1:22 pm
God Hates U?
Comment by Lorkas — June 7, 2009 @ 1:23 pm
Misogyny U.
Comment by DUG853 — June 7, 2009 @ 1:23 pm
Dogma College
Comment by Hinse — June 7, 2009 @ 1:24 pm
Bizarro University. Where up is down, black is white, and the longer you stay the dumber you get.
Comment by Beast — June 7, 2009 @ 1:24 pm
I can't believe its not a university university.
Comment by mr-zero — June 7, 2009 @ 1:26 pm
I'd go with Clown College, but I think Barnum might have taken it...
Comment by Slaughter — June 7, 2009 @ 1:29 pm
What about 'Matchless University'. Take from it what you will according to your perspective though with perhaps a nod to Christopher Hitchens.
Comment by Boldra — June 7, 2009 @ 1:33 pm
Evangelical American Patriotic Non-Foreign Christian Biblical Conservative Value And Family Oriented Freedom Patriotism College of Freedom And Guns
I believe this name will be appealing to the broad American public.
Comment by Flywheel — June 7, 2009 @ 1:37 pm
Westboro Human Diode Academy and Abstinence-only Day-care
(home of the Wide-Stance Saddlebackers, their trophy-winning men's wrestling team)
Comment by Burn, bigot, burn — June 7, 2009 @ 1:37 pm
How about Cernell or Harvord just like any other diploma mill
Comment by James — June 7, 2009 @ 1:39 pm
Christaliban College.
Comment by Roboticus — June 7, 2009 @ 1:44 pm
Farewell brain U
Comment by Logicel — June 7, 2009 @ 1:54 pm
Double Wide University. To remind the students of its founder and of home.
Comment by flounder99 — June 7, 2009 @ 1:55 pm
School For People Who Don't Read Good and Don't Think Good
Comment by snappy — June 7, 2009 @ 1:55 pm
Doubleplus Think Right Learning
Comment by Nat J. — June 7, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
(The Late) Jerry Falwell's Big Illiberal Unity of Opiniondom
School motto: "My Way Or The Highway"
RIP Fartwell--you were always such a joker.
Comment by not a gator — June 7, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
The George Orwell School of Theology
(because Liberty is a *perfect* example of doublespeak)
Comment by MikeTheInfidel — June 7, 2009 @ 2:03 pm
Liberty...ish College?
Comment by Matty S — June 7, 2009 @ 2:07 pm
Doublethink University. Where the educraption is doubleplusgood.
Comment by Amused Muse — June 7, 2009 @ 2:09 pm
How about: "It's a University, we swear."
Comment by nutsac — June 7, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
I'll go with Bullwinkle's alma mater: Whatsa Matta U.
Comment by wvtechie — June 7, 2009 @ 2:14 pm
Falwell Remedial Grade School
Comment by AdamK — June 7, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
MAKEITUP 4 U.
Comment by Nicole — June 7, 2009 @ 2:27 pm
Fail-Well U
Comment by QED — June 7, 2009 @ 2:29 pm
Hmmmm... Unemployable U?
UU has kind of a YoYo ring to it.
Comment by red rabbit — June 7, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
PS, as a doctor, Brittney, I aim that one at you.
Comment by red rabbit — June 7, 2009 @ 2:33 pm
Faith Unto Christs Kingdome University
Also known as F * * * U
Comment by Evolouie — June 7, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
I'm for the simple yet accurate Christofascist State.
Comment by GBM — June 7, 2009 @ 2:40 pm
How about Virginia's School of Magic?
I also like We're Smarter Than U. That would be also good.
Comment by zachary2142 — June 7, 2009 @ 2:46 pm
Whichever name wins, I think the Purple Teletubby should be the mascot. Either that or a pillar of salt.
Comment by Arnold T Pants — June 7, 2009 @ 2:48 pm
"Ship of Fools"? If only it didn't sound so Catholic (and, therefore, not "Christian" to that bunch of yahoos), I'd go with Monty Python's "St. Loony of the Cream-bun and Jam".
Comment by CanonicalKoi — June 7, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
Oops--forgot one. If only they were a state facility--"Delusional State". It has a nice ring, methinks.
Comment by CanonicalKoi — June 7, 2009 @ 2:55 pm
Ministry of Truth University.
Not all that funny, but the reference to a ministry and to 1984 fit "The U" to a T.
Comment by Andrew the Eternal — June 7, 2009 @ 2:55 pm
Mythology University would be a great fit. Know Knothings University (KKU). Or my favorite, Stu Pidass University.
Comment by Toni Clifton, Ph.D. — June 7, 2009 @ 2:55 pm
Madrassa U.?
But only because "Sam Houston Institute of Theology" is probably already in use...
Comment by Woody — June 7, 2009 @ 3:01 pm
How about Insular University "Freedom From Knowledge is a way of life!"
Comment by Joe — June 7, 2009 @ 3:03 pm
I'm thinking of "Conservative Brainwashing U"
Comment by Terry Williams — June 7, 2009 @ 3:25 pm
I like Wassamatter U...
Comment by Mac — June 7, 2009 @ 3:26 pm
Theocratic Delusional Psychotic Fictitional Pseudo-University of BFE Virginia.
Put your hands on the radio. Say, Ahmen.
Comment by Rex — June 7, 2009 @ 3:27 pm
I like Philistine University (P.U. for short).
Comment by Geeble — June 7, 2009 @ 3:35 pm
How about "Boo-Hoo-U". It fits with their whining.
Comment by Enkidu — June 7, 2009 @ 3:36 pm
I vote "Shiny Happy People's Democratic University of Virginia" with apologies to John Stewart, as the number of inherent lies in the name of an institution or country is always directly proportional to the savagery of its oppressiveness.
Comment by Ray — June 7, 2009 @ 3:42 pm
This has probably been suggested before, but here it is anyway:
"Flintstones University"
Fits quite nicely, doesn't it?
Comment by Matt Hone — June 7, 2009 @ 3:50 pm
I like Groupthink University, personally.
Comment by Coralius — June 7, 2009 @ 4:00 pm
How about "Lynchburg Baptist College" for the sake of truth in advertising. Yes, I know they ditched it some time ago but it is never too late to go with truth over falsehood.
Comment by Mike from Ottawa — June 7, 2009 @ 4:03 pm
UNeverSiTy Liberty
Comment by CDHabecker — June 7, 2009 @ 4:03 pm
I'd go for something irredeemably pompous, like:
"The One True Holy Infallible College of Gilead".
Comment by North of 49 — June 7, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
"Liberty Sucks."
That'll get their message across.
Glen Davidson
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592
Comment by Glen Davidson — June 7, 2009 @ 4:10 pm
Dear God in heaven (if you're there?) I damn near laughed my cowboy butt off at Will's comment at #53. He unwittingly came up with the perfect name for a failed curriculum of a false so-called higher education school: "Epitamy Of Chritinaty University" Don't git no better'n 'nat, pod'na!
Comment by Tyndall Wildleek — June 7, 2009 @ 4:17 pm
Don't crack on Will too hard -- he's a decent guy, who has bemoaned the lack of a spellchecker on the comment forms of this board
Comment by Dan Casey — June 7, 2009 @ 4:21 pm
Well, that was suppose to be "Epitamy Of Chritianity University." I should know, I done got my degree from Baylor.
Comment by Tyndall Wildleek — June 7, 2009 @ 4:25 pm
Lie-berty University
U Can't Touch This
Comment by Dan — June 7, 2009 @ 4:26 pm
A number come to mind, some of which are unfit for a family publication:
Lynchburg College of Bronze-Age Studies
University of Medieval Beliefs and Practices
Falwell Institute for Myth-information
Comment by John E. Shuey — June 7, 2009 @ 4:29 pm
Jeff up on #29 kind of stole my thunder with "Credits Not Likely To Transfer University". That "young earth" creationist nonsense certainly puts a crimp in those science credits.
How about DU - Delusional University, since the basis of their world view is little more than a group held delusion.
Comment by paleotn — June 7, 2009 @ 4:34 pm
"Mostly and Provisionally Accredited University"
Comment by snead — June 7, 2009 @ 4:43 pm
How about "Eastern Virginia Ideological Library and University"
EVIL U
Comment by Jonus — June 7, 2009 @ 4:47 pm
Dan, I agree. "Lie-berty U" is a good'un. In all seriousness, though. All joking aside, in keeping with the appearance and specialties of their former leader I think they should rename the school "Hogjawl's Academy For Mammonics" whose motto might be, "The higher the hair, the closer to God."
Comment by Tyndall Wildleek — June 7, 2009 @ 4:53 pm
Stoopid Yewniversi-T
Comment by JKVisFX — June 7, 2009 @ 4:58 pm
University of the Dark Ages
Pre-Literate University
University for the Promulgation of Superstition & Nonsense
PIU - Proudly Ignorant University
Comment by Robert S. — June 7, 2009 @ 5:02 pm
Naughtenactual University
Comment by Jon — June 7, 2009 @ 5:04 pm
Why not leave everybody upset and name it the University of Latter Day Saints?
Comment by Levi Hughes — June 7, 2009 @ 5:10 pm
To not misinform any future employers when they see a graduate's cv, my suggestion would be "The Jesus Academy". It has the oomph and credibility the school deserves.
Comment by Jolly Bobo — June 7, 2009 @ 5:12 pm
MATCHBOX U, What else?
Comment by Duff — June 7, 2009 @ 5:13 pm
Apologies if it has already been suggested, but the head-in-the-sand nature of the people there, insisting that being more conservative and less tolerant is somehow what the world needs, suggests to me "Ostrich University".
Comment by Angela — June 7, 2009 @ 5:21 pm
american taliban U
Comment by ron — June 7, 2009 @ 5:23 pm
John E. Shuey
the "lynchburg college for bronze age studies" is hilarious. If we were at a bar i'd buy you a shot.
Comment by Jeff — June 7, 2009 @ 5:24 pm
FOX University.
Comment by Stan — June 7, 2009 @ 6:01 pm
Moran Bible College
Comment by Horst Wessel — June 7, 2009 @ 6:25 pm
Biblerty U.
Comment by paul01 — June 7, 2009 @ 6:31 pm
"Death Cult"...leave off the word Univerisity or College or anything that associates it with academia.
Comment by norm! — June 7, 2009 @ 6:32 pm
How about Walden, like in Doonesbury? It deserves the same degree of respect.
Comment by Mena — June 7, 2009 @ 6:34 pm
What about LIEberty University?
Comment by john tate — June 7, 2009 @ 6:35 pm
...or FIBerty U.
Comment by john tate — June 7, 2009 @ 6:36 pm
Ted Arthur Haggard Institute of Hypocrisy
Comment by Jeff — June 7, 2009 @ 6:44 pm
Considering Falwell's untimely death (why the hell did he take so long to do that?) we should rename the school in his honor:
Fat Fascist Bastard U.
Comment by Seraphiel — June 7, 2009 @ 6:47 pm
Antiochus IV Epiphanes University
Look up this biblical and historical tyrant, Daniel 8:32-25. His behaviors and intolerant nature are not dissimilar to a certain founder of a certain Christian institution.
Comment by Jeff — June 7, 2009 @ 6:57 pm
How about Mos Eisley University, because "you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." Well, maybe the discotute.
Comment by David — June 7, 2009 @ 7:00 pm
It should be called Matchbox U
Comment by Suzan — June 7, 2009 @ 7:04 pm
"Debauching the Whole Idea of a University"
(with thanks to Richard Dawkins)
Comment by John the Skeptic — June 7, 2009 @ 7:05 pm
How about the University of Bloated Egos driven by Unsubstantiated BullS***?
Comment by BlueIndependent — June 7, 2009 @ 7:07 pm
Fox U.
Just seems appropriate on so many levels.
Comment by Goldenmane — June 7, 2009 @ 7:10 pm
No Liberty for U.
Plays on the you/u thing and is also something the Liberty Nazi might say.
Comment by Joshua Fisher — June 7, 2009 @ 7:13 pm
Idiot School
Comment by MadScientist — June 7, 2009 @ 7:17 pm
If you don't get my connections between the Antiochus and Falwell, I'll make a list
-Anti-semitism: Falwell at a conference about the Apocalypse stated that the Antichrist was probably alive on earth, and certainly a Jewish male. Antiochus slaughtered countless thousands of Jews when his armies sacked Jerusalem and was known for his persecution of Jews.
-Intolerance: Falwell persecuted everyone from gays/lesbians to Telletubbies. Antiochus outlawed Judaism.
-God-Complex: Falwell's is evident. Antiochus is mentioned in Daniel 8:32-25 and likened to the Anti-Christ for the destruction of the Jewish temple and his demands to be worshiped as a God.
Comment by Jeff — June 7, 2009 @ 7:18 pm
hmmm....ok
Mental Slavery University
Not A University
Diploma Mill Universiy
White Anglo Saxon Protestant University (WASPU)
Alternative to Reality University
Sky God Universiy
Pseudo Science Technical School
Comment by Jimmy — June 7, 2009 @ 7:19 pm
Freedom from Thought University
Comment by Evan — June 7, 2009 @ 7:26 pm
The only thing I want anybody to call Liberty University is "Closed"
Comment by phreack — June 7, 2009 @ 7:29 pm
Restrain U
Comment by reverendjohn — June 7, 2009 @ 7:30 pm
Slave To Falwell University
The refrain from the alma mater could be:
No hug, no kiss, no cuss, no chat,
No other point of view,
No praising of a Democrat,
Just STFU!
Comment by Imback — June 7, 2009 @ 7:36 pm
Jebus Crap U
Comment by Cedric Katesby — June 7, 2009 @ 8:03 pm
I was going to try to be clever, but I can't compete with snapasnort. I vote for "Lobotomy University?.
Comment by Mark — June 7, 2009 @ 8:04 pm
How about WOO U. Thats what they teach and what they want to do to the public.
Comment by lewis thomason — June 7, 2009 @ 8:05 pm
They should just be honest and call it the "Thought-Free Looniversity"
Mike B.
Toronto, ON, Canada
Comment by Mike B. — June 7, 2009 @ 8:24 pm
Liberty chicks are a well kept secret. It's like they were living with a bunch of eunuchs. Great place for lots of hot action.
Comment by bob — June 7, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
How about: Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry BFE campus. Because they teach that the world is run by magic and thinking is not allowed.
Happy Monkey,
Ray
Comment by Ray — June 7, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
How about BSU. We all know what that stands for..
Comment by Chris Wood — June 7, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
Parochial Seminary
Comment by Quidam — June 7, 2009 @ 8:42 pm
Indecent Liberties College, "Making the most of small minds"
Comment by Ma Ma Yo — June 7, 2009 @ 8:46 pm
POOP UNIVERSITY
Comment by Bill — June 7, 2009 @ 8:53 pm
LIBER(al whippersnappers, get off my proper)TY UNIVERSITY
Comment by Levi in NY — June 7, 2009 @ 9:05 pm
MMHMU - Me Me and Humble (li' ol') Me University. (apologies to cat lovers)
Comment by LeeLeeOne — June 7, 2009 @ 9:10 pm
How about Gestapo Kindergarten
Comment by NewEnglandBob — June 7, 2009 @ 9:28 pm
Orwell U
Comment by gregp — June 7, 2009 @ 9:48 pm
Well I think "Tyranny University" has it, to be honest. Short, the same meter as the original, and to the point.
Anyway, here's mine:
"Tragic Irony University."
Comment by Christopher Petroni — June 7, 2009 @ 9:57 pm
How about. Reserve Bank of Falwell U
Comment by Dax — June 7, 2009 @ 10:01 pm
Pencils-from-a-Cup State?
Comment by Required — June 7, 2009 @ 10:05 pm
I favor Matchbox University. For those who don't know, when Falwell bid farewell to this world, Christoper Hitchens commented that if the good reverend had been given an enema, what was left over could have been buried in a matchbox.
Comment by Brian — June 7, 2009 @ 10:14 pm
How about St. Jerry's Clown College?
Comment by Kurt — June 7, 2009 @ 10:26 pm
Deluded - U
Comment by neilD — June 7, 2009 @ 10:30 pm
I would suggest Liturgy U, except that this might make people think they were fond of the catholic tradition.
Lysurgy U has an acid feel to it.
Lackey U no longer applies as Falwell is dead.
So I'm going to have to go with Lacunary U - the university that has gaps in what it teaches.
Comment by John S. Wilkins — June 7, 2009 @ 10:37 pm
What Would Jesus U.
Comment by Dan — June 7, 2009 @ 10:40 pm
I suggest College for Understanding the New Testament. The top student could graduate Zero Sum Laude.
Comment by R. Kelly — June 7, 2009 @ 10:42 pm
Spreading the hate in the name of my imaginary sky God University? Name fits, no?
Comment by hello there — June 7, 2009 @ 10:48 pm
MATCHBOX UNIVERSITY
Comment by Phillip — June 7, 2009 @ 11:03 pm
McDonald's Corp. Eastern Training Facility is my name suggestion.
Comment by nick — June 7, 2009 @ 11:04 pm
Dan Casey, I'd like to suggest you also consider for the contest winners the very good book THE UNLIKELY DISCIPLE - A SINNER'S SEMESTER AT AMERICA'S HOLIEST UNIVERSITY by Kevin Roose. I've just finished it and it's very good and amazingly even handed.
What I get from the book is there is a LOT of homophobia, very attractive women seeking their MRS degree, a lot of virgins, a cult of personality built around Jerry and a lot of people breaking the rules. They seem like nice, although indoctrinated, kids trying to find their way in the world. Apparently they classify people into two distinct varieties, the Saved and the Unsaved. They consider themselves Saved. If one wants to be very fair, it should be called SAVED "UNIVERSITY". I had to put university in quotes though.
If one wants to be unfair, you could try:
LOL "university"
PWNED "university"
Talibaptist "university"
Libertarian U.
Leech U.
Labyrinth U. (every tried to find your way out of one of these?? Your view is blocked, it's filled with dead ends, and escape is purposely hampered. Not a bad analogy.)
Lag U. (lag noun - comparative slowness or retardation. verb - to fall behind)
Illiberal U.
Lily-White U.
Limited U.
Loathsome U.
Lampoon U.
Landfill U.
Languorous U. (Got my dictionary out! Can you tell??)
Lapsed U.
Laputan U. (Laputan n. an inhabitant of a flying island in Swift's Gulliver's Travels characterized by a neglect of useful occupations and a devotion to visionary projects)
Liability U.
Liar U.
Lucre U.
Limitative U.
Limiting U.
Lingam U.
Lip Service U.
Listeriosis U. (Look this one up!)
Litany U.
Literal U.
Comment by Scott M. — June 7, 2009 @ 11:07 pm
Whatever the new name should be, it should contain neither the word liberty nor university.
Comment by Aaron — June 7, 2009 @ 11:25 pm
The University of Stupid.
Indoctrinate U.
Craphole State University
Jesus State Penitentiary
Comment by Roger — June 7, 2009 @ 11:27 pm
I think Liberty should stay in the name, personally:
Liberty from Education University
Comment by Jason Dick — June 7, 2009 @ 11:32 pm
How about "College of Republican Theology". They specialize in wartime and post-invasion business management methods, torture justification (offered as part of their School of Law) and tax cuts for the wealthy, all just the way Jesus would have wanted.
Comment by Dennis Brown — June 7, 2009 @ 11:44 pm
Ignorance U.
Comment by Daniel — June 7, 2009 @ 11:45 pm
Brigham Young and Male University
Comment by God-fearing/Hard-working Man — June 7, 2009 @ 11:49 pm
"GodHatesFags U" To show the parallels between them and the Westboro Baptist Church.
Comment by Ralph — June 7, 2009 @ 11:55 pm
Flintstone University
Comment by Skepacabra — June 7, 2009 @ 11:55 pm
Also, "Failwell University"
Comment by Ralph — June 7, 2009 @ 11:56 pm
Peek'a boo U - Due to when there god (cherry picking raptureor) comes back we will see them, then we wont. A day we can only dream for.
Comment by John — June 8, 2009 @ 12:02 am
She Turned Me Into A Newt University.
Comment by sinned34 — June 8, 2009 @ 12:14 am
ASS HAT University
-made by ass hats, for ass hats
Comment by kryth69 — June 8, 2009 @ 12:18 am
YHVH Institute of Science and Technology
Comment by Michael — June 8, 2009 @ 12:29 am
The Jeezus fer Dummies Skool of Hate
The skool song could be:
"hate, hate for Jeezus; close yer minds up tight.
don't bother thinkin', cuz Falwell knew what's right.
be humble sheeple, always do like Jerry said.
hate "different" people and pray God strikes 'em dead.
sing hate, hate for Jeezus, and teach yer family,
to kill, kill for Jeezus, til all of us are free.
Comment by Tom Paine — June 8, 2009 @ 12:47 am
Libiot University- our graduates aren't your run-of-the-mill idiots, they're Libiots!
Comment by crazyJEEG — June 8, 2009 @ 12:58 am
FRAUDWELL College
Comment by Michael Gray — June 8, 2009 @ 12:59 am
Fantasy Island.
Comment by EH — June 8, 2009 @ 1:09 am
Falwell University
So that everyone can say FU for short! Eh, eh...
Comment by Arthur — June 8, 2009 @ 1:17 am
How about BODNQ U?
Believe! Obey! Do NOT question! University.
Nah - too much punctuation.
Comment by 60613 — June 8, 2009 @ 1:21 am
Wither He Falwell University (WTF U)
Comment by rascal me — June 8, 2009 @ 1:32 am
License Conservatory?
Comment by Azkyroth — June 8, 2009 @ 1:46 am
American Taliban University. #1 in training of domestic terrorists.
Comment by Mick — June 8, 2009 @ 1:56 am
Talibaptist U
Comment by Ichthys Piscean — June 8, 2009 @ 1:56 am
Not a Proper U
Back to the Bronze Age U
Comment by bastion of sass — June 8, 2009 @ 2:32 am
White Christian Childrens' University
Unaccredited University
No Sex For You University
Komisar Monica Goodling Memorial University
Comment by cdx — June 8, 2009 @ 3:08 am
LOL Hm... here's a couple:
St. Brian University
Born-Again School for Adults
Comment by quintessence of dust — June 8, 2009 @ 3:43 am
Flanders University.
Comment by Orion77 — June 8, 2009 @ 3:52 am
Seems it's time for Godwin's Law to surface, and as no-one else has done so, I propose: The Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler Memorial U. for an institution clearly bent on keeping the spirit of Fascism alive in the world.
Comment by Anon. — June 8, 2009 @ 3:59 am
Those of us familiar with the concept of apophenia, and who had to suffer through the nonsense of the Bible Code, I thought it would be fun to plug 'Liberty University' into the anagram-o-matic and see what popped out. Here are some of the better ones:
Visibly Nuttier Rye
Try Bile University
Ivy Tit Bile Nursery
Evil Buyers Trinity
Evil Briny Yurt Site
Ye Linty Virus Biter
But here is my favorite, and I think it is the most appropriate:
Tryin Virtue By Lies
Comment by Burn, bigot, burn — June 8, 2009 @ 4:26 am
CrapuLike has a certain ring to it as does Taking Liberties.
Comment by Mike — June 8, 2009 @ 5:24 am
How about Falwell's College for Learning Difficulties
Comment by Roger Stanyard — June 8, 2009 @ 5:53 am
The Madrasa of Jesus and Jerry
Comment by 938 Mev — June 8, 2009 @ 6:25 am
Deluversityon, catches the mess quite appropriately! Someone suggested Delusional University...
Comment by puseaus — June 8, 2009 @ 6:49 am
How about the "George Orwell School of Liberty".
May be ham-handed, but a university full of southern baptists aren't going to object to any sort of ham.
Comment by Stacy M. — June 8, 2009 @ 6:54 am
The Lunatic Asylum?
Comment by kris — June 8, 2009 @ 6:54 am
Reactionary University for the Intellectually Impaired.
Comment by patrick tinkham — June 8, 2009 @ 7:03 am
Fourth Century U, where we're luddites living in a reactionary universe until we need some piece of technology to help us with our politico-religionist agenda to turn the Constitution into an instrument of oppression.
Comment by John Strong — June 8, 2009 @ 7:15 am
'Lagado University' from Gulliver's Travels - the one where they learn how to extract sunbeams from cucumbers...
Comment by stoat100 — June 8, 2009 @ 7:25 am
'Liberty' does not belong in there but it was Falwell's creation and his legacy so give it his name. Falwell University. Or FU for short.
Comment by sammywol — June 8, 2009 @ 7:28 am
"Close Cover Before Striking College of Universal Knowledge"
Comment by Don Martin — June 8, 2009 @ 8:05 am
The College of Useless Knowledge.
Falwell has a despicable legacy. When AIDS became known in the US, Falwell convinced President Reagan that since it only affected gays, we should do nothing about it and the problem would take care of itself.
Comment by Davey — June 8, 2009 @ 8:24 am
"Would You Like Fries With That? College", as most of its graduates will only be qualified to work in the Fast Food industry.
Comment by Rodney Anonymous — June 8, 2009 @ 8:36 am
University of Fat Dead Pricks
Comment by lefsahead — June 8, 2009 @ 8:43 am
Mindless U. Team name: The Zombies
Motto: Knowledge is Bad
Comment by cervantes — June 8, 2009 @ 8:46 am
Hogwarts?
Comment by Jelle — June 8, 2009 @ 8:54 am
They have that beautiful LU on the hillside. Maybe they can squeeze in a VC:
Limited view of Christ University.
Comment by rightsaid — June 8, 2009 @ 9:09 am
"The 'Left Behind' Roleplayers and Fanfiction Authors Training Center"? (Not that I mean to unfairly cast aspersions on fanficcers and RPers.) Their motto can be "We reject consensus reality and substitute our own, no matter how badly it fits".
On that note, "University of Rejecting Consensus Reality and Substituting Our Own".
Comment by Satan's Onion — June 8, 2009 @ 9:10 am
Thinkpol Academy would be appropriate, among the other Orwell references mentioned above.
Comment by WW — June 8, 2009 @ 9:17 am
Totalitarian University?
Comment by Victor — June 8, 2009 @ 9:30 am
Saddleback U. Because that's how they do it there.
Comment by Dread Pirate Robert #37469 — June 8, 2009 @ 9:34 am
How 'bout,
Jerry's fairy crap trap?
Comment by X-man — June 8, 2009 @ 9:47 am
Janitor Training.
Comment by Jim — June 8, 2009 @ 9:54 am
The only thing I can come up with is: "Whassamatta U."
doov
Comment by Duvenoy — June 8, 2009 @ 10:05 am
How about "Liberty University, NOT!" ... no liberty, and not really a university either.
Comment by dsblank — June 8, 2009 @ 10:07 am
The Institution for Confirmation Bias
Comment by Namey McNamerson — June 8, 2009 @ 10:08 am
Ignoram U.
Pronounced: Ignoramus
Motto: We'll turn your brain into cheese.
Comment by Kaddath — June 8, 2009 @ 10:20 am
keep it simple- Drumbass U
Comment by drewbacca — June 8, 2009 @ 10:21 am
Dogma Bible College
Comment by Derek — June 8, 2009 @ 10:33 am
The new name must be one that appeals not only to those who are foolish enough to attend said institute of lower learning, but also to the rest of secular society that knows a clown college when it sees one. Therefore I propose
LEFT BEHIND UNIVERSITY
This way those attending will get the feeling they're attending a cutting-edge facility because clearly the name includes a popular (if poorly written) piece of biblical fiction (other than the Bible itself), and everyone else has an idea of how far those attendees will get in this world (along with their non-transferable "credits" for Creationist Biology and Biblical World History).
Comment by Sir Craig — June 8, 2009 @ 10:36 am
I'll just go with an easy one, 'Steaming Pile U." Mostly because of the awesome mascot potential.
Comment by Jeremiah — June 8, 2009 @ 10:39 am
How about "Vacant lot, former site of `Liberty' University"
Comment by Biff Barf — June 8, 2009 @ 10:52 am
Fall Well University.
Home of the Bigots!
Comment by Flonkbob — June 8, 2009 @ 10:52 am
Stagnant Backwater Theoversity?
You need not be a dipstick to get in, but we guarantee you're one on graduation day.
Comment by shonny — June 8, 2009 @ 11:29 am
How about "Bias U"
Comment by Jerald Lyon — June 8, 2009 @ 11:33 am
I've got one: "Shoot-a-doc U"
Too one-issue?
Comment by J. A. Baker — June 8, 2009 @ 11:39 am
I second (or third, or fourth, or etc.) RAPTURE, but I will not give it the status of University. University by its name alone implies Universal. This institution does not promote Universal and does not deserve the University status. So I propose "Rapture", simple - plain - without substance or qualifiers.
Comment by LeeLeeOne — June 8, 2009 @ 11:55 am
Credo College of Conundrums
(The same word for faith and belief: "credinta" ... from the Latin root "credo" which is defined as "retarded"
Comment by Spritey — June 8, 2009 @ 12:12 pm
Does Liberty University have a College of Arts and Sciences? Or is it Arts and Creationism?
Anti-Christ U.? The dear Jerry had moments when he spoke as the antithesis of the teachings of the man.
Comment by Tom M — June 8, 2009 @ 12:19 pm
Demless University - Hey, why not be accurate about the whole thing.
Comment by Ken S — June 8, 2009 @ 12:54 pm
The Institute of Loving Correction.
Mascot: The Mallets of Loving Correction
Comment by PacMan — June 8, 2009 @ 12:59 pm
How about simply "Anti-University"?
Since you go there to have knowledge and curiosity REMOVED, rather than added, it seems appropriate. "Blind Conformity University" just doesn't seem accurate enough.
Comment by Calybos — June 8, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
State University of Purile Imbecilic Delusion, Good Ol' StUPID
Comment by Fred K — June 8, 2009 @ 1:13 pm
Has anybody suggested "Screw U"?
Comment by fionn maccumhail — June 8, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
Fundagelical University, which would make it F.U.
Comment by mark — June 8, 2009 @ 1:48 pm
The name is perfect as it is. It neatly encapsulates the 2 things that Jerry Falwell hated the most, freedom and education. And it represents the 2 things a student at Liberty University is least likely to experiance.
It should never be changed.
Comment by Lee — June 8, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
I like irony. It will be hard to find a name more ironic than Liberty University. What about The Richard Dawkins Institute for the Advancement of Science and Critical Thinking?
Comment by Alexis — June 8, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
Stupid University.
Comment by Tom — June 8, 2009 @ 2:59 pm
The Delunversityon --- corrupted from "Delusional University"
Comment by puseaus — June 8, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
The Democratic People's Republic of University. I like the idea of staying in the same vein.
Comment by James M — June 8, 2009 @ 3:08 pm
God Told Me To Hate U.
Hypocrisy University
Idiocy University
Totalitarian Taliban Tyrant School
Comment by Mike G — June 8, 2009 @ 3:22 pm
They do need to change their mascot. I recomend the Liberty University Democrats.
Comment by Lee — June 8, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
Discord Dogmaversity
Comment by Watchman — June 8, 2009 @ 4:34 pm
Anathema University
Comment by Bill Galloway — June 8, 2009 @ 4:56 pm
Freedom Fries Fascist Factory
Comment by Kyle — June 8, 2009 @ 5:01 pm
Dial-a-diploma
Comment by Darren — June 8, 2009 @ 5:20 pm
Jesus Rode a Dinosaur to Church U.
Jesus Jail
'Murkan Madrassa
NASCAR Obesity College
Comment by Glen — June 8, 2009 @ 5:20 pm
Pastor Jerry's Heavenly House of Lordly Learnin'
Comment by Disciple of "Bob" — June 8, 2009 @ 5:21 pm
Liburtee Yoonyvursitee
Keep yer DEMONocracy uv dickshunarie spellins outta are librery.
TEECH THE KONTRAVURSEE!
Comment by Waylon — June 8, 2009 @ 5:22 pm
Skool of the Holey Babble (misspellings intentional)
Comment by adobedragon — June 8, 2009 @ 5:26 pm
"The Pretend School for Children With Parents Who Fear That a Real Education will Turn their Children From God."
Comment by Jim Etchison — June 8, 2009 @ 5:33 pm
Segregation University. That is why Falwell started in politics and started the school, because he didn't like desegregation.
Comment by Myxozoa — June 8, 2009 @ 6:22 pm
I Hate U.
Comment by Davey — June 8, 2009 @ 8:45 pm
Saddleback Dyno U
Comment by johng — June 8, 2009 @ 8:50 pm
Maybe Zombie U
Comment by Zach — June 8, 2009 @ 11:00 pm
Republican Education Through Applied Religious Dogma or shortly RETARD University
Comment by stanp — June 9, 2009 @ 2:29 am
Christian University of the New Testament
Comment by Alan — June 9, 2009 @ 5:22 am
st. enema.
=D
Comment by jcm — June 9, 2009 @ 10:29 am
School of Nonsense
Comment by Audrey — June 9, 2009 @ 12:06 pm
Intellectually & Spiritually Constipated U.
Comment by spritey — June 9, 2009 @ 12:32 pm
Ignorant U ?
American Madrasah Nontechnical College?
Comment by Eric — June 10, 2009 @ 6:20 am
Fanna Tech ("fanatic")
Comment by Eric — June 10, 2009 @ 6:22 am
BSU - B*llsh*t University
Comment by dutchb0y — June 10, 2009 @ 6:47 am
Sputum-Flecked Cock-Monkey University.
I know, it's not pretty, but I feel it fits...
Comment by Steve J — June 10, 2009 @ 9:15 am
How about anything that doesn't have "University" or "School" in its name?
Comment by LivingWithMormons — June 10, 2009 @ 6:52 pm
Hey folks,
At least every week or so, someone accuses me of censoring their posts, or they email me and ask me if I'm censoring their posts. I'd like to say a few things about that.
1. This is a moderated board. That means I "approve" everything before it goes up. Except: if you're posting, it appears on your screen as if it's gone up immediately (this is the way the system works). But actually, it hasn't. If you refresh, it will look like your post has disappeared. I know -- that's dumb. But that's the way Wordpress is, I guess. I'm not a techie. It DOES NOT mean I deleted it; rather it means I have not approved it -- yet.
2. All of the comments go into a queue for my approval. They don't go up on the board for others to see until I approve them. Unfortunately, I am not always able to monitor posts you submit on a minute-to-minute basis. Sometimes I do it hour to hour. Sometimes 4 hours go by. Sometimes I go to bed, or go for a bike ride, or I'm doing other work. Or I'm eating dinner with my family. Or whatever. The possibilities are endless. The point is, there may be long gaps between the time you submit a comment and when I approve it. That does not mean I have censored you. So please don't construe it that way. I like the debate. This is the blog where "your rants and raves are welcome!" But I just cannot, manage it 100 percent adroitly. Sometime there will be gaps.
3. I won't permit George Carlin's "The Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" in posts, though I am fallible and sometimes one or two might slip thru. The same goes for race- or ethnic-baiting. There are plenty of other blogs that allow that stuff; if you want to post stuff like that I suggest you find them.
4. I don't want to see other people's reputations called into question without evidence. If you write that Mr. A (a public or a private figure) is a child molester or a crook or an adulterer, you better be prepared to back that up with facts (not opinions) before I approve your post.
5. If I have deleted a post because of the reasons cited in #4 or #5, I will send you an email suggesting you remove the offensive material and resubmit the post. Don't depend on me to edit it for you.
6. Name calling: I do not like it. There is one big reason why. I value this blog and these boards, and if it devolved into a dumb shoutfest where people are merely calling each other's blog "handle" nasty names, that is incredibly pointless and everybody is going to stop looking at this site. That "entertainment wears thin fast. However much I don't like it, I am loath to delete those posts, because this is the "rants and raves are welcome board." So I permit a certain amount of back and forth that way -- but you really need to know that name-calling, if you do it, cheapens your arguments and makes you easier for me and other readers to write off.
Thank you for the time you spend reading and posting to this blog, and for the time you took reading this. Now ... back to the debate!
Comment by Dan Casey — June 11, 2009 @ 8:54 pm
Inanity University
Lunacy University
Asininity University
or, my personal favorite:
Kollege of Konservative Khristianity
Comment by (Another) Will — June 12, 2009 @ 6:34 am
Being currently attending Liberty University and experiencing it first hand I would call it The Institute of Extreme Hypocrites That Fake Being Righteous.
This college is so wound up in there little bubble with lives full of rainbows and sunshine that if there is one thing wrong with you or you make one wrong decision and you get absolutely slain for it. One mistake and you are looked down upon and ridiculed, not only by students but also Resident Advisers and Staff. Gossip spreads like wildfire and that goes against what is in the bible, these people are ignorant hypocrites that lie without even thinking of whether it is right or wrong. I am changing schools because of what this college has put me through during my time here, and I have only been here for a year.
Comment by laughingcity — June 27, 2009 @ 8:19 pm
I was thinking about "Captivity College" Tis a place where they trap your mind under pretense of education.
Comment by David — July 10, 2009 @ 5:07 pm