2009.06.30
Contest! Name the next politician to go 'hiking the Appalachian Trail'
Mark Sanford
You have to hand it to South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, who has publicly confessed to infidelity. He's added a new euphemism for "cheating" to the American lexicon:
"Oh -- he (or she) has been hiking the Appalachian Trail!"
Wink. Nudge. Big smirk. I'd bet Sanford wishes he'd never invented that sorry excuse as a cover for his adultery in Argentina.
The question on my mind is, who's next going to "take a hike on the AT"?
Which means it's contest time!
I challenge you to predict the name of the next national political figure, or evolution-damning preacher, who calls a press conference and fesses up to cheating on his (or her) spouse.
We have two great prizes to offer:
The first is "The Best of the Appalachian Trail Overnight Hikes" 2nd Edition (Menasha Ridge Press, 2007) by Victoria Logue, Frank Logue and Leonard M. Adkins. It will be autographed by Adkins, an outdoors writer who has thru hiked the AT five times and blogs at habitualhiker.com.
The second is "Sex Scandal in America - Politics and the Ritual of Public Shaming" (The Key Publishing House Inc., 2009) by David Rosen. It bills itself as "a comprehensive history of sexual scandals in America from colonial times (including Pocahontas and the Puritans) to today."
Of course, plenty of people already have taken themselves out of the running. Talking Points Memo and Americablog have done a good job covering adulterous Republicans. And How to Kill Chickens has a pretty good inventory of cheating Democrats. So make sure you don't waste your prediction on any of the folks they've already covered.
You must enter this contest as a comment on this blog. Rules are below the jump. (Click on Read more)
Rules:
- You must enter as a comment on this blog, and you must use a real email address (which nobody except me will see) so that I can contact you if you win. You can enter more than once but no more than three times.
- Limit your entries to national office-holders (President, Vice-President, House of Representatives, Senate, cabinet secretaries, Supreme Court justices), governors, mayors of major cities (like Detroit) and, because they have played this game so frequently in the past, nationally known clergy, like Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, or Ted Haggard.
- The person in question must make a public confession to cheating. (For the purposes of this contest, "a massage" counts as cheating. So also does a confession of unspecified "sin" and/or a public resignation from their position).
- Give me their name, their office, the state and/or city they hail from and their political affiliation, if that is obvious (in the case of a preacher it may not be).
We also have 3 tie-breakers to help sort the winners out, in case of duplicate entries.
- A: State whether the cheating they will confess to is opposite-sex (like Sanford) or same-sex (like Haggard)
- B: Will the the paramour be a hooker/gigilo (a la Louisiana Sen. David Vitter and former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer) or an amateur (as was the case with President Bill Clinton)?
- C: Yes or no -- will the confessor's spouse be at his or her side during the public confession?
We'll keep a record here on the blog. The first respondent who correctly guesses the next publicly confessing adulterer and answers the tiebreakers successfully will win the Appalachian Trail book. Runner up will win "Sex Scandal America."
Here is a handy little form you can copy, paste and fill out below, if you wish.
- 1. Name/office/location/political affiliation
- A. Gay or straight cheating?
- B. Pro or amateur paramour?
- C. Spouse shows up at confession? (Yes or No)
As always, humorous entries are greatly appreciated!
Hopefully its something big enough to take the camera off the Jackson family problems.
Maybe the next contest should be "stupidest thing said on the House/Senate floor". Might even get the C-SPAN ratings to jump.
Comment by Ed S. — June 30, 2009 @ 7:32 am
Michael Steele or Jerry Lindahl.
Comment by Mike B — June 30, 2009 @ 8:55 am
Well, when you look over the list of Congressmen and women who've spoken the loudest and most condemning about their sex scandalized peers, you should begin your search with that list. I'm of the personal belief that the louder the voice, the stronger the personal temptation. It's amazing that so many politicians ignore the past, the embarrassment and swift decline (for some) after a scandal is publicized. They must live in a deluded world, believing that the rules are for everyone else but them. I'm continually amazed when another scandal surfaces. They seem to feel entitled somehow.
Kathi Peterson, Seattle, WA
Comment by Kathi P. — July 1, 2009 @ 8:59 am
Who is Jerry Lindahl?
Good point Kathi!
Comment by Sandi Saunders — July 1, 2009 @ 10:57 am
I have no idea about these perverts other than it could be any member of the Rethuglican Party and all the cute Dems.
How about baying Boehner for a start? He's always seemed suspicious to me with his heartfelt tears over the brain-dead and/or unborn specimens of protoplasm and the demands for torture and capital murder of the rest.
And it's gotta be a hooker (or a staffer) but which sex? That's a tough one.
It could be Tom DeLay.
Thanks for this opp. It's made my day.
;))
S
Comment by Suzan — July 1, 2009 @ 12:13 pm
In an ill-advised publicity stunt Mike Huckabee will actually and for real hike the Appalachian Trail, only to find out that a whole lotta sex in the wild is, actually and for real, going on there. On the trail, he'll come across a prominent Republican found in the company of a dead hooker AND a live boy. The resultant apoplexy Huckabee will undergo will radically scramble his brain chemistry such that he will have an uncontrollable urge to hump the leg of the next Republican governor he meets. It could be Sarah Palin. It could be Ah-nuld. At this point, we don't know.
Comment by grok — July 1, 2009 @ 12:31 pm
Charlie Crist - same sex - amateur - no spouse. Easy one!
Comment by Marlisa Mills — July 1, 2009 @ 12:52 pm
Sean Hannity: Though I seriously doubt that he'll be caught having an affair with a woman (who else would have him), or a man, I do predict that he will get caught beating his meat in his Escalade while listening to a Toby Keith song.
Comment by Razor_Boy — July 1, 2009 @ 12:54 pm
I believe that the next shocking hiking trip will be made by Newt Gingrich. He has a history of philandering, and by golly, his new found, Bible banging, Catholic personna is just ripe for a thru hike from Georgia to Maine.
Comment by blueridge — July 1, 2009 @ 12:59 pm
Just because she's a loon and there's something in the water up there, I'm going with Michelle Bachman, R-MN (6th). I'll say straight, amateur (likely a campaign staffer), spouse will not be with her. She seems primed for such a collapse, seeing as how she seems to fall in with the religious right lunacy crowd. Usually, there is some pent-up sexual frustration just waiting to be released, so I think this is as good a bet as any.
Comment by Other John — July 1, 2009 @ 1:11 pm
1. New Haven, Connecticut Mayor John DeStefano - c'mon New Haven's national now with our recent Supreme Court foray...
A. Gay or straight cheating? Gay, ask any gay man in New Haven who has heard the 'rumours', and then ask the NHPD and NHFD who have responded to 'emergency calls' at JD's lover's place
B. Pro or amateur paramour? Hmmmmmmm
C. Spouse shows up at confession? (Yes or No) Oh yeah. Or Kimber LOL.
Comment by Yale'86 — July 1, 2009 @ 1:17 pm
Other John,
I don't think it will be Michelle Bachmann, although for the entertainment value she is tops in Congress, no doubt about it.
I think she's way more focused on fighting the U.S. Census these days.
Comment by Dan Casey — July 1, 2009 @ 1:20 pm
I'll go with Sarah Palin, R-Alaska. With all the early turmoil, she is a little more visible than some and a long shot I'll admit. But that doesn't preclude her from getting that sense of invincibility; and her many-times-stated "love of the great outdoors" makes a hike on the AT seem almost too easy. Husband will stand by her, definitely straight, and an amateur. Maybe sex out of wedlock runs in the family... Sorry, cheap shot.
Comment by Julie — July 1, 2009 @ 1:54 pm
Sarah & Todd Palin... Sarah will be caught with a much younger man, amature.... Todd will be caught with another man, also an amature... both will "confess" together after they call a major press conference.
Comment by sukabi — July 1, 2009 @ 1:57 pm
I firmly believe Mitt Romney is the next one to be caught cheating... with several men. He truly seems to be a fruit butterfly..
Comment by JuanR — July 1, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
I think it's safe to say that Rush Limbaugh is a national political figure so I think I'll go with him. He will confess that all those trips to California were for the purpose of hooking up with Barbara Boxer. His wife will not be at his side for the press conference as she will be down at the corner pharmacy getting one of his prescriptions filled.
Comment by george p — July 1, 2009 @ 3:10 pm
I don't think he's married anymore. He's been through 3 marriages, if my memory serves me right...the longest being 10 years.
Comment by Other John — July 1, 2009 @ 3:47 pm
Todd Palin, or the "First Dude", will be outed by the woman that he has been seeing since Sarah was 3 months pregnant with her latest child. This lady will be NOT be a pro. After the story breaks we will learn that she has been arrested for drugs and illegal hunting in the past. Unable to control her rage, Sarah Palin will admit that she has had affairs in the past with: a newscaster, a friend of the "First Dude", and hint that one of her children may not be her husbands. And, yes, the idiots will stand together.
Comment by Tim H — July 1, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher.
This Republican will be caught having an affair with a younger woman he meets during one of his many speaking engagements.
His wife will NOT be at his side when he publicly admits his sin.
Comment by barbara — July 1, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Other John,
Rush indeed has been divorced 3 times. At last report, he was dating Kathryn Rogers, a Palm Beach party planner who's more than 25 years younger than him.
Comment by Dan Casey — July 1, 2009 @ 4:32 pm
Whoa..Let's get serious for just one second. My vote goes to supreme court justice Clarence Thomas. That guy is such a contrapundist that he will finally admit to a "long term" relationship with a "visitor" from the planet,(is it still a planet?),Pluto. Yes folks, Pluto.
Comment by Paul Marcello — July 1, 2009 @ 4:40 pm
1. Name/office/location/political affiliation: Please let it be Newt Gingrich Republican low life (again!)
A. Gay or straight cheating? Straight
B. Pro or amateur paramour? amateur
C. Spouse shows up at confession? (Yes - maybe a few)
Comment by jason — July 1, 2009 @ 4:44 pm
That seems to be a trend. I think his last 2 wives were several years younger than he was. His second wife was still in college when they married and he was in his 30's then, if I remember what I read correctly.
Comment by Other John — July 1, 2009 @ 4:46 pm
blueridge, I see, has Newt. Hmmm...need to think a bit.
Comment by jason — July 1, 2009 @ 4:48 pm
Paul Marcello,
I dunno, Paul. Thomas is so reticent he hardly ever says anything, even when he's on the bench.
I can't imagine him calling a press conference to confess to cheating on his wife, even if he did it!
Comment by Dan Casey — July 1, 2009 @ 5:08 pm
Saxby Chambliss (R-GA), straight, amateur, spouse will be present.
Comment by Sean R — July 1, 2009 @ 5:49 pm
U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), gay, amateur, wifey sobbing quietly at his side.
Fun game! I'm not normally a betting kind of gal, but this wager appeals on so many levels...thanks!
Comment by rozebud — July 1, 2009 @ 6:36 pm
Since there seems to be a correlation (on the Republican side) between being a strong advocate of "family values" and unfaithfulness - I'm going to say Page Cortez Louisiana 43rd Rep District Republican.
Straight.
amateur paramour
w/ spouse.
Comment by jason — July 1, 2009 @ 7:04 pm
I call Martin O'Malley, Governor of Maryland. Straight cheating, with an amateur, with his wife at the confession (though I wouldn't want to see what happens when they get home).
Comment by Carrie L. — July 1, 2009 @ 8:22 pm
Wait wait wait....rule check...
Is it the sex the person *thought* they were cheating with...or the sex that the person *actually was*?
Comment by Ed S. — July 1, 2009 @ 8:41 pm
Funny! Do we need a "ladyboy rule"?
Comment by Dan Casey — July 1, 2009 @ 9:05 pm
I predict the next national celebrity to confess will be a personality close to home. My candidate is Jonathan Falwell (Pastor of Thomas Road Baptist Church in Lynchburg) who has a number of advantages over other potential candidates. Those include: 1. He is handsome and appealing to younger women, 2. He has a flock of willing young virgins at Liberty University, 3. He is a born again Christian evangelist who is good at getting people to believe in fiction, 4. He lives less than an hour from the Appalachian trail head at the James River bridge, 5. He could take an extended lunch hour to have a hike and quickie with a coed on the trail and no one would miss him. if you agree or even disagree with my prediction you are still obligated by reading this to make a donation to ALS research-since this week has been designated national ALS week to celebrate the 70th anniversary of Lou Gehrig's famous July 4 speech at Yankee Stadium.
Comment by Richard Kelley — July 1, 2009 @ 9:42 pm
Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-SC.
Male lover, amateur, but Lindsey allegedly insisted on paying him anyway.
Comment by easong — July 2, 2009 @ 12:38 am
I'm going to have to go with Rush Limbaugh. He is going to get arrested for "lewd behavior" at a highway rest stop. It will come out that he has been frequenting that particular rest stop for years, wearing a wig and sunglasses, and offering oral sex to truckers in bathroom stalls. He will blame it on the liberals for dropping the moral standards of the country so much that he was depressed and just couldn't help himself, using the same line of logic he used today to blame Obama for Mark Sanford's cheating. He will let some sanctimonious religious right goons use him for their own publicity under the guise of helping him repent and purge the demons. He will make a tearful, hour long public apology on his radio show. His fans will forgive him, but then his maid will go public about his stack of kiddie porn in the basement.
* 1. Name/office/location/political affiliation
* A. Gay or straight cheating?
* B. Pro or amateur paramour?
* C. Spouse shows up at confession? (Yes or No)
Comment by Harvey Dean — July 2, 2009 @ 1:11 am
Oops, forgot to mention the spouse. She sticks by him until the kiddie porn comes to light. Says she never looked in that closet.
Comment by Harvey Dean — July 2, 2009 @ 1:13 am
"He will blame it on the liberals for dropping the moral standards of the country so much that he was depressed and just couldn't help himself, using the same line of logic he used today to blame Obama for Mark Sanford's cheating."
Comment by Harvey Dean
Yeah. I heard him say that; WFIR should be ashamed to have broadcast that drug addled prevaricator all these years.
Comment by Razor_Boy — July 2, 2009 @ 3:52 am
Mitch McConnell, gay, pro, wife by his side
Comment by Yusifu — July 2, 2009 @ 5:48 am
"Mitch McConnell, gay, pro, wife by his side"
In a shocking double scandal, Mitch McConnel reveals his gay (pro) lover is none other than... Lindsay Graham. Ah... office romances...
Comment by grok — July 2, 2009 @ 9:15 am
Huh - I thought Liberals were tolerant! What a laugh! Its funny how you care SO MUCH about infidelity with our representatives and figure heads - an act which by all means is awful - but will let them steal blindly from straight out of your wallets and not complain. I guess you have to have something in that wallet to really care.
Comment by Walker — July 2, 2009 @ 10:43 am
* 1. Name/office/location/political affiliation: sarah palin/mabey in the office but more likly at bed and breakfast/alaska/probably
* A. Gay or straight cheating?:straight up cheating
* B. Pro or amateur paramour?:amateur,untill the news breaks
* C. Spouse shows up at confession? (Yes or No):yes, on a snowmobile
Comment by john johnson — July 2, 2009 @ 12:42 pm
Michelle Bachman will reveal that she was not on the AT, but will email that she was, and remains, in Paraguay with GWB.
Comment by paul — July 3, 2009 @ 2:45 am
Does Todd Pallin count?
Comment by deda — July 3, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
That's awesome Suzan!
Comment by deda — July 3, 2009 @ 2:38 pm
* 1. Name/office/location/political affiliation- Todd Palin, Governor's Wife...oops, scratch that...make it....
Husband/in the woods/Alaska Secessionist Movement
* A. Gay or straight cheating?- Moose, male or female.
* B. Pro or amateur paramour?- undecided
* C. Spouse shows up at confession? (Yes or No)- Most Definitely Yes! But she killed the moose.
Comment by deda — July 3, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
It's got to be our the lady of the day: Sarah Palin.
My twist of this is, it will be a twosome. Hubby Todd has to come along, they do most everything as a couple.
Swinging the Appalachian Trail?
Comment by borehamwood — July 3, 2009 @ 8:01 pm
Governor Rick Perry of Texas. Gay. Enthusiastic amateur. Wife will take her money and run. Rick has already been caught, in the Texas Capitol of all places. He managed to buy off his wife and make it through that, but after Kay Hutchinson gets through with him in the next Republican primary, he will have to blow off steam.
Comment by Ron Cantrell — July 5, 2009 @ 9:45 am
Lindsay Graham, on the trail, with a lead pipe.
Comment by barcoda — July 5, 2009 @ 4:25 pm
Anne Coulter, straight although it turns out Anne is the dude. Most definitely a Professional. No teary spouse but in a strange development it's Bill O'Reilly crying on stage next to Anne.
Comment by Laurian — July 9, 2009 @ 1:05 am
California Republican Assemblyman Mike Duvall. Conservative assbag who rails against "amoral lefties" in his home state. So stupid he talks about spanking his mistress into the microphone before a congressional hearing, says he did not know the mike was live.
http://www.sacbee.com/topstories/story/2170484.html
Comment by Joe Wilson — September 10, 2009 @ 2:33 am
Joe,
Nice try, but you have to name the politician in ADVANCE of their resignation/public confession.
Comment by Dan Casey — September 10, 2009 @ 8:33 am
Glenn Beck, with a gay pro. He's twice divorced, so no wife to be at his side. He will revert to his drug abusing ways and lose the remaining advertisers on his Faux Noise program.
Comment by __Nathan — September 11, 2009 @ 11:37 am
This is silly, but I want that second prize... John Boehner Congressman from Ohio with call girl(s). You cannot have a perpetual tan and not be a womanizer or a wanna be. He is too scared to be with the one he wants so he loves the one he is with.
Comment by Sandi Saunders — October 7, 2009 @ 8:18 am
Alright, I'll give this a go!
1. El presidente - Barack Obama - DC - The Out To Lunch Party
2. A little bit of both - David Axelrod and Nancy Pelosi with Biden clapping from the sideline.
3 -None of them can be considered professional can they?
4- No,but she does a press conference from the herb garden with Rahm.
Comment by mattyr — October 7, 2009 @ 12:32 pm