2009.07.01
01JUL09--"How are you?"
The way that people greet each other can be fascinating. Sociologists or 'people watchers' at the mall can attest to this.
Even in the States, people spend more time in conveying greeting and catching up the better that they know the person. In Iraq, greetings can be taken to an extreme in order to express sincerity, especially with the many different ways of asking, "How are you?"
In Arab cultures, how well two people know each other and how much they like each other is evident by their greetings. A handshake and greeting is standard. Friends will hug, and good friends will kiss each others cheeks. The better friends you are with someone, the more times that you exchange kisses, alternating between kisses.
One of my Iraqi counterparts regularly hugs me and sometimes kisses my cheeks three times. We are pretty good friends, as I have worked with the Iraqi colonel nearly every day for a year now.
Not only does the physical greeting become more extravagant the better than two people know each other, the verbal greetings also become more repetitious. I count nine different ways that Iraqis will ask "How are you?" All nine and more could be asked one after the other, showing more concern and more care.
"How are you?"
"How is everything with you?"
"How is your family?"
"You feel comfortable, God wills?"
"What's up?
"How are you?" (a different set of Arabic words)
"How are you?" (the formal Arabic version)
"Are you well?'
"What things are happening?"
These are direct translations of the questions. Sadly, these questions have scripted answers. One of the more popular answers in Iraq is "Warm and sunny."
Americans go through similar motions. When someone asks, "How are you?" in the States, we often times respond, "Good. And you?" Truthfully, many people do not want the real answer about what troubles are in your life at the time.
So I have learned the appropriate responses to this questions. The only trouble is that, when I see my Iraqi counterparts and ask them, "So what's new?," I actually want to know what is new. I do not want to hear, "Nothing is new."
Therefore, I have learned to go through the motions of greetings and then to depart from the standard script. "Tell me about current operations and anything that has happened since yesterday."
