2009.11.03
Biesenbach: Male or female?
Gender is not always absolute
Betsy Biesenbach
Biesenbach lives in Roanoke and is a freelance writer and title examiner.
A few months ago, AOL ran a story from TheLocal.se, an English-language site for Swedish news, about a young couple who was determined not to reveal the gender of their firstborn. According to the article, the only people who know the child's sex are the ones who change his/her diapers. The child wears the clothes and hairstyles of both genders and plays with all kinds of toys. For good or for ill, the parents do not plan ever to tell anyone the sex of their child. They are leaving that up to him/her for whenever he/she is ready. My guess is that will be the first time he/she is faced with going into a public restroom on his/her own.
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Absolute insanity...these people are NUTS. The poor kid is going to be SO messed up. Or he will come out and say at age two, I AM a BOY! Wonder what they'd do then...send him to counseling?
Comment by T Witten — November 3, 2009 @ 10:32 am
Is there more to this one? There is no "read more" link... I'd rather not comment until I read the full text.
Comment by Danny — November 3, 2009 @ 11:32 am
Read more link added. Thanks for pointing it out.
Comment by C. Trejbal — November 3, 2009 @ 11:35 am
Okay, so we're talking about hermaphrodites?
In those cases, I do believe it should be up to the child for sure. Whenever they decide.
Comment by T Witten — November 3, 2009 @ 12:09 pm
And things like this are why I cannot fathom why so many folks think it can't possibly happen that a person could be born gay, that maybe it's genetic or just something that occurs in a small portion of the population for whatever reason causes it. It's obvious that some people outwardly look male but are more wired like a female, and vice versa. And like with these situations, sometimes there is no clear one or the other in any respect. Rather than force these people to hide who they are or reject them for who/how they are, I think greater tolerance and understanding is called for.
Comment by Other John — November 3, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
@1 I agree....however I was not allowed to leave a one word comment it keeps getting deleted when I state that I thing the parents are being ridiculous...maybe this post will stay since it isnt a one word thing..guess rt is too big for one word comments...at least from me
Comment by pammala — November 3, 2009 @ 1:58 pm
..and it's pamala, not Pamala...it isnt a name, its an abreviation
Comment by pammala — November 3, 2009 @ 1:59 pm
oops...lol rather pammala, not Pammala...
Comment by pammala — November 3, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
I'm curious here...let's discuss.
I'm left wondering if I understand the author's main point correctly. Is it just that some people are different, and that is a fact of life? That would seem to be a given at face, but perhaps it isn't.
I didn't see a link to the original story. If it doesn't break any citation or journalistic rules, you can read what I believe is the story here:
http://www.thelocal.se/20232/20090623/
In my personal opinion, the couple's decision seems pretty pointless and silly; a "different for the sake of different" situation. Is there something different, out of the norm, about the child that would lead to this decision? Or are they simply attempting to make a point?
Gender is a natural phenomenon that is seen throughout nature, even in plants. Of course plants do not play with army men or Easy Bake ovens depending on their gender, but we do see differences between the gender in the rest of the animal world. Casual observation has shown me that there are natural differences in traits between genders, and that part of the natural process is child rearing by adults that helps pass along the necessary tools of life.
I get the feeling that the true root of the issue is found in the first few lines. "the parents were quoted saying their decision was rooted in the feminist philosophy that gender is a social construction." If this is simply an attempt to get the world to treat male and female equally, I believe there are better methods that would probably be less "intrusive" to the child.
Comment by Ed S. — November 3, 2009 @ 7:40 pm