2007.11.11
No room at inn for more homeless
A couple of weeks ago, I had a dream: I was scavenging through a Roanoke city hall Dumpster and stumbled upon this crumpled-up memorandum:
From: Roanoke city officials
To: All localities and charities outside our city limits
Re: Homelessness.
Don't give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses ... don't send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to us.
That's right, fellow localities. Somehow, Roanoke has become "the shining city upon the hill" -- actually in the valley -- for homeless near and far, in-state and out.
We barely tolerate our own poor and disenfranchised. What makes you think we want yours?
We don't want outsiders freeloading here. No longer will folks disembarking buses and clutching tickets punched "one-way" be welcome in our Star City.
The mooching ends now.
We're tired of people coming from all over, piling into Roanoke to get a piece of our homeless largesse.
They're flocking to our palatial homeless shelters. You know, the ones with hand-fluffed feather beds, Godiva chocolates on the pillows, and free steak and lobster dinners. The joints have been so popular in the past that when all the beds were full, folks slept on the waxed mahogany floors.
Apparently word is out in the homeless underground:
"Go to Roanoke and live the good life in its shelters."
Yes, sir, we treat our homeless well here in Roanoke. We dress them in the finest designer apparel, treat them to hour-long massages and offer them free yoga classes.
That's the problem.
No one wants to publicly admit this, but it needs to be said: Those do-gooders at places such as the Roanoke Rescue Mission and Roanoke Area Ministries are so "daggone nice" that it almost makes you wonder if people want to be homeless just so they can come here.
Bless her heart, that Joy Sylvester-Johnson at the Rescue Mission. She's made helping the homeless her life's work. But even she admits their numbers have skyrocketed over the past 20 years.
The mayor, who moonlights as a preacher, made a reasonable suggestion: We could pass the plate among other localities who want their homeless to stay here. They could pitch in a few dollars.
On second thought, we decided to scrap the regional collaboration idea. Too complicated. Besides, Salem would back out anyway.
So we're sticking with the original idea, which is the purpose of this memo. From here on out, a shingle will hang at Roanoke city limits.
No homeless allowed.
I woke up that morning, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and thought "What a strange dream! City council would never be that absurd."
There was only one critical error in here, and it was the quote about the Mayor; The correct situation is:
We have a preacher moon- lighting as a Mayor!
Comment by Duane — November 11, 2007 @ 9:38 am
Funny dream. About 10 years ago I was working customer service at a local utility when a customer sat at my desk and told me she had moved from California because the social services were so good in Roanoke. I didn't laugh and I moved to Salem.
Comment by Susan M — November 11, 2007 @ 10:46 am
Thanks so much for putting into words everything I was thinking. Why can't we find more ways to build people up and try to help them get back on their feet? Instead we want to shun them? There are many reasons why people end up on the streets. What happened to helping our neighbors?
Comment by Amanda — November 11, 2007 @ 12:52 pm
Concerning the "dream. Roanoke does very well with the homeless .That column was nothing more than tongue in cheek sarcasm and uncalled for. Roanoke has a great city council that does its best for all citizens, regardless of where they are from .
Comment by caro gallagher — November 11, 2007 @ 6:48 pm
Your dream is all too true as far as Roanoke City goes. Helping people that live in the city isn't what they like to do...helping people outside of Roanoke City is "horrible" for them. I've needed help a few times in my life...I didn't receive it from Roanoke City....I received it from Roanoke County and TAP and are forever grateful to both of them.
Comment by Lynne — November 11, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
This was not a dream, it was a real nightmare and even more rankling because homeless live in a wide awake nightmare. Thank you. I do not even live in Roanoke and was offended by the story quoting council. Yes, your answer was tongue in cheek and satirical and oh, so appropriate.
Comment by Marg — November 11, 2007 @ 8:32 pm
Your satire on Roanoke's dilemma is absolutely poignant!
Comment by Bobby Buck — November 12, 2007 @ 2:58 am
It would be nice if a lot of the citizens in this Star City could experience what the people at the mission have to go through then they would be willing to volunteer on days other than Christmas and Thanksgiving.
Comment by THE VOICE — November 12, 2007 @ 12:10 pm
it would indeed be great if others would visit all the homeless shelters in roanoke and get to know the people that live there and also the people who work there for not much money but a lot of rewards. all situations are different and we can't be so closed minded that we place all of are needy in the same basket and jesus did say to feed the poor.
Comment by judy reed — November 13, 2007 @ 5:48 pm
Homelessness in the Valley...it's not going away any time soon. Therefore, why isn't that churches don't use those vans parked on their lots during the week, to go by and pick up a half dozen or so, of the destitutes at the Rescue Mission, the Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. on the nights of inclement weather? Maybe, providing some day work to let them earn some traveling money to move on to some other hapless locale? Tongue in cheek...or, is it that churches have truly devolved into no more than "feel good social clubs"?
Comment by Bobby Buck — February 9, 2008 @ 5:36 pm