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The Great and Powerful Skunk Hunter and I are going out to help a friend celebrate her birthday after work, so I drove home on my lunch hour to let my pooches out for a tinkle break.

Driving through my 'hood, minding my own business, I had to slam the brakes on my Beetle or I would have made a pancake out of a little wayward dachshund.

The stubby red pooch was just standing there in the middle of the Huntridge Road. I hit my hazard lights, got out of my car and shooed him into a driveway. He just looked at me and barked. Not aggressive, but not friendly either. He kind of reminded me of my high school gym teacher, Mrs. Parrott.

Yeah, that probably doesn't help you get a mental image unless you were in Mrs. Parrott's class. And if you were, we should talk some time about our shared trauma.

But I digress.

I politely asked the pooch where was his family. He woofed a little and provided no other guidance. His black collar held no tags.

I kept an eye on him as I knocked on the doors of the two houses whose yards he was scampering between. No one home at either place. As an elderly gentleman walked by I asked him if he knew where this dog belonged. He did not, but he had seen him running loose in the area before.

That's when I decided to call the cops.

I dialed Roanoke County Animal Control, described my new little friend's predicament, and the dispatcher said she would send an officer right out.

I tried to keep the dog's attention, bribed him to stay in this driveway and out of traffic with offers of some cold French fries, but he eyed me suspiciously. He barked, he waited, he barked some more.

About one minute before the animal control officer pulled up, the wiener dog made a break for it and hopped into the woody area beyond the houses. As he bounced away, he shot me a glance over his tiny shoulder like, "Why'd ya have to call the coppers on me, lady? They'll never take me alive!"

*Artist rendition. Not the actual fugitive.

I gave the officer a complete description of the red, apparently neutered, male dachshund that appeared to be in good shape, not thin and not hungry, running around the Huntridge area of the Orchards in Bonsack. The very gracious and kind officer took off to search for the suspect.

If you are reading this, and that is your dog, please go home and get him. Put tags on his collar and don't let him roam loose. Please.

And tell him I'm sorry I turned him in to the law. It was only for his own protection, I swear.

What do you get for the pet or pet lover that has everything?

The Roanoke Dog Park Steering Committee is selling commemorative bricks this holiday season that can honor a beloved pet or person. Proceeds from brick sales will fund future construction at the Highland Dog Park, including additional benches and landscaping, walking paths, an informational kiosk and paved parking.

The commemorative bricks will be permanently placed at the dog park’s entrance. Engraved bricks can be personalized with the name of a pet, a person or a business.  A text-only brick costs $100, while a brick engraved with a corporate logo is $150.  (While this picture shows two colors of bricks, only the red ones are available to order.)

Order bricks online at the park's Web site. All brick orders must be placed by January 1, to participate in the initial brick installation planned for early spring 2010.

Last month we had a pretty robust discussion here on this blog about removing claws from kitties. The subject was in the news again this week, but in Southern California, not here in Southwestern Virginia.

The Los Angeles City Council unanimously approved an ordinance banning cat declawing.

A similar ordinance was also approved in Beverly Hills and is being considered in Santa Monica and San Francisco. All of these cities are way behind West Hollywood, which banned the practice in 2003.

L.A.'s ordinance will take effect before Jan. 1, 2010, when the state will begin banning cities from regulating the practice of veterinary medicine. Violations will be misdemeanors.

What do you think, local readers? Would such a measure pass here in the Roanoke Valley?

(photo from wikimedia commons)

Typically I think of heavy vehicles as being a natural enemy of kitties and pooches, but that is clearly not the case in Roanoke and Franklin County.

Driver, move that bus!

Beginning this week, you may notice some very adorable faces on the back of five Valley Metro buses.

Two of the city buses will sport the photo of an an adoptable pet from the Roanoke Valley SPCA.  The photos will change when the pet find his or her forever home.

One of the traveling billboards will feature information about programs at the RVSPCA, including the Pets Eat Too program that helps seniors and low-income families feed their pets. Another will highlight the foster program, where families can provide home care for infant and orphaned puppies and kittens, too young or too weak to be adopted, and allow them time to grow and get ready for a loving family.

Another bus will ask for donations to keep the non-profit adoption center operating.

Fill 'er up

The Franklin County Humane Society is hosting a "Fill the Truck" event to collect donations of food and other items for the adoption center.

The truck will be located at The General Store at 213 Scruggs Road in Moneta all day this Saturday. Donations of Purina Dog, Puppy, Cat and Kitten Chow, along with canned cat food and paper towels will be gratefully accepted.

Author and former animal shelter director Debra Cheehy will also attend the event and sign copies of her book "I Like Dogs", a children's book about shelter adoption

Hubby has seen no fluffy striped varmints in our yard since the weekend. Apparently the pungent perpetrators have found someone else's grubs to feast on, at least for a now.

Besides, hubby told me this morning that if he ever did get sprayed while on skunk patrol, that bit of news would be strictly off-the-record for this blog.

All the more reason to follow @HappyWag on Twitter, cause I'm totally broadcasting it there.

I appreciate your comments, which have been entertaining and informative. To answer a few questions:We always feed our cats and dogs inside the house, we never leave any kind of food outside, our garbage cans are kept inside our garage, and all our pets are up-to-date on all vaccines, including and especially rabies.

I thank everyone for their comments and concern because these are all very valid points.

Now we will return to our regularly scheduled news and dish about local pet news.

This is one of those viral e-mail photos, origin completely unknown, that has been circled around the Internet and back again. But when you blog about skunks as much as I do it is bound to find it's way to your inbox.

 The caption reads: "So there I was.... just relaxing in front of the T.V.  when the kids yelled, "Hey Mom, come see the kittens."

So far, hubby has successfully patrolled the yard for two days and has yet to find an aromatic varmint lurking anywhere. Armed with his trusty flashlight and his fluffy bathrobe, he made the rounds last night and again this morning and deemed it safe for our dogs to do their business after sunset and just before dawn's early light.

And now he can add yet another tool to his anti-skunk-terrorism arsenal: Urine.

Yep, you read that right.

Angel posted this comment on yesterday's post:

I'm a wild skunk rehabber who was alerted to your blog today via google alerts and I have to say that this little tale is hilarious. Tell your husband that we all wish him luck, but don't hold out much hope for him or that flashlight\inpenetrable force that he's packin'. He'd have a lot more luck with urine. If he's out there long enough with the flashlight maybe he'll have to pee and it will all work out for you both. It's darn near winter here in Missouri so the skunks are settling into winter dens. Either you shoo him off now or end up with a skunk friend all winter long. Good luck!

Thanks, Angel. Hubby reads this blog every day (at least he should) and he should find this to be useful information.

Will the Great and Powerful Skunk Hunter answering nature's call all over our fence, magnolia tree and hostas help to keep the skunks away? Who knows.

But at least it will be a bonding experience for him and our dogs, and right here at the holidays, too! Sigh. It's like an odd Hallmark Movie Channel/Animal Planet mashup.

My husband has declared himself the Great and Powerful Skunk Hunter and is now patrolling our yard armed with his brilliantly bright flashlight that looks an awful lot like this one.

He insists that since he has made the significant investment of $3.99 for this rodent-exposing technology, he can secure our home and dogs from the vile stench unleashed by the hated skunks.  He will become LEGEND among the smelly rats of Bonsack. They will tremble when they see the awesome bright light and scamper off in fear, telling future generations to stay far, far away from the Great and Powerful Skunk Hunter.

Today I will shop online for a pith helmet to complete his look.

And I am also preparing to stock up on baking soda and peroxide for our bathroom shower, because I think we all know where this is going.

Weekends never seem to play out like I plan.

I did not plan on steam cleaning our carpets on Saturday, but I had to when Stormy got ill during the night on Friday and well, there were spots that needed to be cleaned. And once I drag the steam cleaner out, I might as well hit all the floors.

I went to bed on Saturday night with dreams of a reading a book on leisurely Sunday in my freshly scrubbed house. That dream was shattered when hubby woke me up at 12:35 a.m. with the joyous news that Dexter and Stormy have both been skunked. And, as if it could not get any better, so had the entire eastern side of our house.

This skunk was clearly revenge-seeking for the last time one wandered into our yard and did not wander out. And this rodent got us back good. Paybacks are, well you know what they say paybacks are.

We deodorized the dogs immediately, and I slept in a recliner with in the family room with them in a feeble attempt to contain the stench to one part of the house.

That was useless because that smell penetrated every room in our house. It's like it seeped through the walls and chemically attached to every surface.

We spent Sunday scrubbing the dogs AGAIN, and then I started cleaning the carpets AGAIN, along with the furniture, dog beds and every other porous surface in our house, and running the washing machine non-stop with towels and blankets. We had to wait until the outside stench receded before we could open the windows for fresh air.

I called a wildlife management company today. It will charge us $139 to set two traps and then $30 per critter to "relocate" any nasty varmints found in the traps. And I wish by "relocate" they meant "obliterate from the face of the Earth by means of slow torture."

(Sorry, wildlife fans, I am not feeling very charitable toward these pests right now.)

Lessons learned: Investing in the Dyson vacuum and the Hoover Steam Cleaner was money well spent. Extra Strength Febreze is a wonderful product, as is Lysol Nuetra Air.  Holiday-scented candles at least make the room smell like pumpkin spiced skunk.

The combination of baking soda/peroxide/dish soap as a dog shampoo does help relieve the skunk smell, but sometimes the skunk smell wins no matter how hard you scrub.

Help needed: Anybody got ideas on how we can deter these smelly beasts from vandalizing our house with their perfume of hate? I am looking into a magic potion recommended by a friend and I will let you know how that pans out.

Also, can anyone recommend a good spot carpet cleaner for pet messes? What we used Friday night didn't do so good.

(Dear FCC: I bought all the products mentioned with my own money and no one paid me to write about them.)

Head out to Grand Home Furnishings on Booker T. Washington Highway in Westlake from noon until 4 p.m. for the first annual Per Adoption Day, with lovable sweeties supplied by Angels of Assisi and Barn Cat Buddies.

Besides the chance to meet furry little cuties looking for a ride to a forever home, there will be prizes donated by Maid 4 You (who doesn't need that, seriously?) , Organize This (oh yes, please come to my house!) and Karen Wrigley Animal Communicator (so you can know what your cat REALLY thinks of you.)

Donations of Purina pet food products will be much appreciated.

Check out Angels of Assisi's Web site to see photos of adoptable pets like Hope, pictured here. Hope was photographed by Vickie Holt, who is an amazing local photographer with a special talent for capturing the beauty of any pet.