What's better than a warm, late-summer Sunday, when you can leave your windows and patio door open to get some fresh air while you enjoy the return of professional football?
Not much I would say.
But you know what you don't want to do on a Sunday afternoon while watching football? You don't want to leave the dogs' toy box open and then take a little snooze.
Because when you wake up, you find this on your patio.
Right, honey?
Yesterday was one of those days. It started badly and got progressively worse until I was freaking out on the phone asking my hubby to come home to deal with a carcass.
But I am getting ahead of myself here.
I was sick with a nasty little cold all weekend. Still feeling cruddy on Monday, and not wanting to share this virus with co-workers, I decided to stay home. Phil got up to let the dogs out. From our second floor bathroom, I heard him yelling at Stormy.
You picked the wrong yard, dude.
Stormy is our third dog. He is also our third dog to meet a skunk. My hubby hustles Stormy into the bathroom and starts with the usual peroxide/soda/soap formula to de-skunk the pooch. Stormy hates baths. I mean HATES baths. And I was useless to help because I am too congested to breathe.
Phil gets Stormy de-fumed, decided the greyhounds are not stinky, and headed off to work. Meanwhile the house reeked of skunk. We think the rodent sprayed the backside of the house worse than he sprayed the dog.
I got a tip from a friend that putting a wash cloth in a bowl of mouthwash is a great way to deodorize a room. I submerged a washcloth in a bowl of Scope, closed off the family room where the stench is strongest and hoped for the best.
An hour later, with my congested nose believing the stench had died down, I gave in to Dexter's endless whining and let all three dogs in the backyard. I watched them as they went potty and explored the yard. Then, feeling secure that all is well, I went inside for a cup of coffee.
Minutes later, I opened the door to let the dogs in. Coral and Dexter trotted in as usual. Stormy approached covered in goo. Guts. Innards. Blood.
I. Freaked. Out.
Apparently, the skunk walked back into our yard, but he wasn't walking out. Terriers kill rats, you know. And Stormy is a terrier.
I keep him on the deck and look over the rail to see what was left of a skunk in our yard. I thought it was just the head. We don't typically have the decapitated animals at our house because, well, Ozzy Osbourne doesn't live here.
Still. Freaked. Out.
I called Phil because even at my healthiest, I didn't think I could deal with this alone. And why have all the fun to myself? Yeah, I'm a sharing spouse.
I keep all three dogs in the family room, which is located in our basement, with a walk-out patio that is directly under the deck. Since that's where I placed the bowl of Scope, I grab a mouthwash-soaked cloth and started scrubbing the skunk guts off Stormy on the patio. I figured it was safe since, you know, it goes in human mouths, and it would help disinfect him.
Never in my life did I imagine I would scrub a pit bull covered in skunk guts with mouthwash. Check that one off the bucket list.
Phil came home and cleaned up the crime scene with a shovel. He said it was a whole skunk, a tiny one, and more than likely Stormy thought it was like the coolest stuffed toy ever. So he destuffed it.
Oversharing? Yes.
He chatted with a neighbor that said she's killed four skunks so far this summer. We think nearby housing construction has infringed on the skunks' normal habitat and they are now infringing on ours. In other words, my 'hood is infested with smelly rats. Great.
Phil got everything settled at the house, crated the dogs so I could rest, and went back to work.
What did we learn from this experience? That skunks are everywhere and we should all keep plenty of anti-stink supplies handy? That Scope can leave a minty fresh scent on a dog covered in fresh kill? That dogs should not be left unattended in the yard? Yes, we learned all those things.
And we also learned that some days, I don't like having dogs very much.
I was sitting in a boring chain restaurant in downtown Roanoke eating my boring-but-Weight-Watchers-friendly lunch when through the giant glass window I spotted a man and his dog at the corner waiting for the light to change.
The guy was nicely dressed, Polo shirt and fresh pressed khakis, corporate-approved haircut, and I assumed he lived and worked downtown and was taking his pooch out for a noon potty break. In my imagination his name is Joe.
The dog was a gorgeous pit bull mix with the big, broad, ear-to-ear smile that make pitties so beautiful. She was the color of vanilla ice cream, and since I grew up in the Midwest and we bought our dairy products from a company called Borden whose mascot was a smiling cow named Elsie, in my imagination this dog's name is Elsie.
I imagine that Joe and Elsie have not been together long, but Joe is gently determined to have Elsie be a good dog and do things his way. Joe wanted Elsie to sit while waiting for the light to change. Elsie, on the other hand, had a more social agenda. And if there is one thing I know for sure about a pittie, they stick to an agenda, and it's not necessarily yours.
Joe: "Sit Elsie."
Elsie: "OK Dad. In a minute."
Joe: "Sit Elsie"
Elsie: "Hey Dad, do you see this nice lady standing here? Oh hi, nice lady!" Nice lady smiles at Elsie.
Joe: "Sit Elsie. " Joe tugs a little on the leash.
Elsie: "Oh, yeah, just a minute. Did you see this other nice lady over here? Hi new nice lady!" Elsie wraps the leash around Joe's legs to make eye contact with the other lady. She also smiles.
Joe: "Elsie, sit! I mean it!" Joe spins in a circle to unwrap himself from the leash.
Elsie: "What was that you wanted me to do, Dad? I was saying hi to that guy on the other corner."
Joe: "Elsie, sit right now!"
Elsie: "Oh yeah, OK." Elsie plops her butt to the concrete about a half nanosecond before the glowing yellow hand indicated she and Joe could cross the street.
And off they went. And my day was instantly brightened and my boring sandwich tasted so much better.
My dogs love Frosty Paws, the frozen treat for dogs. At my house all the humans love Frosty Paws too, because for the 10 minutes it takes each dog to lick the cups clean, we have peace and quiet.
Unfortunately, those cups of peace and quiet are really pricey: $3.99 for four cups. Since we have three dogs, we buy three boxes so we always have one for each pooch. Our pack doesn't get Frosty Paws very often.
Until now.
Here's a recipe I found on the Woof Report Web site for homemade frozen treats for dogs:
Puree the banana in a blender. Add the peanut butter and honey and continue processing until smooth. Add yogurt and process until all ingredients are blended. Pour the mix into small containers. Glad reusable mini containers with tops work great and they’re eco-friendly. Dixie 3-ounce mini cups work well too. Freeze until solid. This mix makes about 10 per batch.
But wait, it gets better. Woof Report reader Jan sent in this brilliant idea:
"I took your recipe for homemade Frosty Paws and made it even BETTER by making the "cups" out of dog cookie dough. I use various recipes from cookbooks for dogs, using alternatively rice flour, millet flour, even quinoa flour which has added benefit of being high in calcium. Any dog cookie or dog biscuit recipe can be formed into "cups" using a muffin tin and baked, and when cooled can hold the frozen treat. P.S. In my household we call the frozen treats with banana and peanut butter "the frozen Elvis"!"
Party at Chez Nelson Resort and Spa for Pampered Pets this weekend. Frozen Elvii* for everyone! Woo hoo!
*Isn't Elvii the plural form of Elvis?
I am a Food Network addict and one of my favorite shows is "Iron Chef America." I love to watch the battles in Kitchen Stadium and see what magic the teams of chefs make from the secret ingredient.
Before you double check to see if you wandered into the food blog by mistake, there really is a pet point to my entry today. Foodies, the local purveyor of culinary instruction, will host its an Iron Chef-like competition on Tuesday, Sept. 15 at 6 p.m. with its first "Chopping for Charity" event.
And all the proceeds will benefit the Roanoke Valley SPCA.
Local chefs Jason Pollard and Chris Martin will compete and Chef Steve Alls is hosting. Celebrity judges include my friend and colleague, food writer Lindsey Nair of the Fridge Magnet blog and Front Burner column here at The Roanoke Times.
Tickets are $50 per person and can be purchased at Foodies' Web site. www.cookingmadefun.com
Click here to read a wonderful article from The San Francisco Chronicle's Web site about two of the best breeds of dogs: Retired racing greyhounds and pit bulls.
The article was written by Christie Keith. I may have found my new bestie.
Click here to read an Associated Press article about Chanel, the world's oldest dog, passing to the great dog park in the sky. The wire-haired dachshund was 21. Or 147, however you choose to count it.
Chanel lived in Long Island, N.Y. with her pet parents Denice and Karl Shaughnessy. Denice adopted the pooch in the late 1980s when she was 6-weeks-old from a shelter in Newport News. Chanel celebrated her last birthday with a party at a dog hotel and spa.
Although she was certified as the world's oldest dog by the world-record-keeping folks at Guiness, there is actually another contender for the title. A dog named Max in Louisiana is reported to be 26 years, or 182 if you go with that 7-year average thing. Documents that verify his age are under review.
Go gently into that good night, Chanel. And hang in there, Max.
Today, my blog readers, is National Dog Day. I know. If you happen to have a pooch, you know that EVERY day is Dog Day. But this one is like, you know, all official and stuff.
According to the official Web site, because of course this occasion has an official Web site, this day "...is celebrated August 26 annually and serves to help galvanize the public to recognize the number of dogs that need to be rescued each year, and acknowledges family dogs and dogs that work selflessly each day to save lives, keep us safe and bring comfort."
Sounds good to me. I may have to go home and plan a special celebration tonight for my three dogs, whose bratty antics can drive me to drink sometimes but are otherwise really great pooches. I'm thinking a little backyard playtime, a trip to the Roanoke Dog Park or a Yappy Hour at Six Wags Dog Park and perhaps a few of their new favorite treats, The Loved Dog chicken sausages.
Seriously, these treats are to my dogs what a bag full of gourmet chocolates would be to me. If even barely rustle a plastic bag in the kitchen, I am almost instantly surrounded with three sets of pleading eyes begging me, "Sausage noms? For us? Oh, pleeeeeeeze, can we haz da sausage noms?" It's kind of pathetic. And amusing.
What would you do to celebrate with your dog?
Usually I can count on Thai to provide me with some lightheated anecdote to share on this blog. A couple of times he has inspired me to write entire newspaper columns of our (mostly imaginary) interactions.
But lately, I have noticed a little distance from me and my muse. I think he's mad at me. Why? I can't really pinpoint it.
You know how cats can make you feel shunned? They see you, seem almost interested until they get that look of recognition, and then promplty turn their backs, tails in the air, like, "Oh. It's just you. Again."
Lately I am sensing more than just typical feline attitude from Thai.
Maybe I am being too sensitive. Perhaps I have been too much of a giver in this relationship and he now takes me completely for granted. It's like he's turned into a bad boyfriend. I am afraid he's going to tell me he wants to see other people.
I'd do just about anything to keep my beloved kitty content. Almost nothing would be completely off the table. Getting rid of the dogs would be a stretch, but hey, catch me on a day when they are being brats and I'm not saying that's a deal-breaker.
Any suggestions on how to keep a bored, complacent cat happy?
Southside pet lovers: Here's a schedule of fun things to do from the Martinsville-Henry County SPCA:
Free pet parenting class, Saturday from 1 to 2 p.m
This class is for the two-legged family members to learn the basics of pet parenthood and how to make your family's adjustment as smooth as possible. This one hour orientation is purrrfect for new pet parents and those experiencing training issues. To register call Alice Ann Blevins at 276-632-7424
Lancome hosts silent auction for M-HCSPCA, Thursday, Aug. 27, 1 to 4 p.m
The silent auction will benefit the M-HCSPCA. There also will be a red carpet event with makeup artist Ricardo, who will do professional makeovers. Reservations must be made in advance. For more information or to reserve your space, contact Darlee, counter manager for Lancome at Belk, 276-638-2471, ext. 268.
Cruise In Car Show, Saturday, Aug. 29, 4 to 8 p.m.
Meet the adoptable animals at the Cruise In Car Show at Advance Auto, located in front of Big Lots. In addition to music and free food there will be pets available for adoption from the M-HCSPCA. For more information contact the M-HCSPCA or Bob Norris at 276-340-9144 or go to the Virginia Car club Web site.
