1.T-SHIRT SLOGANS. I intended to make a list of the most clever T-shirt slogans I saw at the fair, whether on patrons or for sale. But the common ones were no longer clever and the clever ones weren't fit for publication in a family newspaper (or website.) So I'm left with these two: On a fair-goer: "Rehab is for quitters." For sale in a souvenir stand: A Mexican flag with the slogan: "They can't send all of us back."

2. ACROBATS. The most spectacular thing I saw was the acrobatic act, the aptly-named Sensational Murcias, who do a tight-rope act while dressed as pirates straight out of "Pirates of the Caribbean." As if tight-tope walking itself isn't enough, the Murcias manage to skip rope, stand in chairs and other amazing things. At one point, they roll around in a giant spinning skull-and-crossbones contraption, which prompted one fairgoer within earshot to exclaim: "They're just like hamsters!"

3. ELEPHANTS. The elephant show is sponsored by Del. Morgan Griffith, R-Salem, who always manages to sponsor the most unusual act at the fair. I remember one year he sponsored jumping frogs, and another year it was aramadilloes. By the way, we have video of the elephants. That's a publicity photo above.

4. SEATING ADVICE. At least on Saturday, the showtimes worked out that if you got an early seat at the racing pigs exhibit, you could still get a great view of the Murcias -- and then were already in place for the sprinting swine.

5. RACING PIGS. Speaking of the racing pigs, if anybody's in a mood for friendly wagers, here were the winners in Saturday's 8:45 p.m. races: Jean Claude Van Hamm, Hammah Montana and Sarah Jessica Porker. Your results, as they say, may vary.

6. CAMEL RIDES. Camel rides are bUmPy, and you get two turns around the ring.

7. PETTING ZOO. The petting zoo is free, but the carnival barkers will do a good job of making you feel guilty if you don't shell out buck or so for a cup of food so you can feed the animals. If you fall for this, do it early in the day. By the evening, the animals seemed to have no interest in eating -- I suspect because they were already stuffed.

8. CONSUMER ADVICE. Speaking of food, the small cup of Dippin Dots -- the ice cream of the future -- will cost you 50 cents more than it does at a Salem Avalanche game.

9. TAKE HOME A GOLDFISH. If you're going to shell out money for a game of chance but don't want to take home a stuffed animal or some other trinket, try the game where you can win an actual goldfish. We have two at home -- one from last year, one from two years ago.

10. THE RIDES. I have this first-hand testimony from a 13-year-old about the ride called the Typhoon: "That was worse than I thought." By "worse," I think he means "better."

11. THE TILT-A-WHIRL. Am I the only one who can't get the Bruce Springsteen song "4th of July, Asbury Park" out of my head whenever I pass by the Tilt-a-Whirl? That's the song about the Asbury Park boardwalk with the lines:

. . . And you know that tilt-a-whirl down on the south beach drag
I got on it last night and my shirt got caught
And that Joey kept me spinnin' I didn't think I'd ever get off

The song's more famous, though, for this line about the boardwalk fortuneteller:

Well, the cops finally busted Madam Marie
for telling fortunes better than they do . . .

I see where Madam Marie died last week. She was 93, and Springsteen posted a remembrance on his website. I wonder if anyone will write a song about the Salem Fair?

Here's a promise: If you do, and it doesn't violate any laws or common decency or anything like that, we'll post it here on So Salem. Email us at news@sosalem.com

-- Dwayne Yancey

Other Salem Fair coverage:
* Sights and sounds of the duck race
* Photo gallery from opening night
* Video of the elephants

• Share this entry
  • Digg this entry
  • Mark in Ma.gnolia
  • Tag with del.icio.us
  • Seed Newsvine
  • Post to Google
  • Add to Yahoo!
  • Share on Facebook
  • Submit to Reddit
  • Related at Technorati
• Posted by dwayne yancey in Events
• :: Comments (1)