“Kevin and I are working on our tenth year of marriage. We were probably too young to get married, at 19 and 21 years of age. We barely knew each other. I am quite sure that we had guests who attended our wedding ceremony that thought to themselves, “There is no way they are going to last.” We were the underdogs.
Many, many times during our relationship we have asked each other, “Why do you think we work?”
Tonight I asked my husband again…”Why are we the Cinderella Story? How do we do so well together?” We sat down together and wrote a few of our “tips” for marriage:
· Don’t ever say “Divorce.” Divorce is not an option for us.
· Run your marriage like a SUCCESSFUL business, with a budget, goals, and assigned responsibilities.
· Take a lot of photographs. These are the good ol’ days.
· Unrealistic expectations cause problems. We try to go into things expectation-free. (This is harder for me than it is for Kevin).
· Sincerely apologize when necessary.
· Make yourself appear unavailable. We talk about each other to our friends and co-workers. We wear our wedding rings. Everyone knows we are committed to each other.
· Leave the past where it belongs…in the past. DON’T bring the problem back up later. Solve the problem and get over it.
· Surprise each other. (How romantic!)
· “Thank you!” Easy as that. Say it often!
· I never do the dishes. He never picks up his clothes. I spend a lot of time in the laundry room. He spends a lot of time in front of the kitchen sink. We help each other.
· Have a blast! The dishes, the laundry, the house…these things can wait. Go to the zoo. Play late-night card games. Watch a movie together. Go hiking. Taste-test Bubblecake cupcakes together.
Because Kevin and I knew that the odds were stacked against us from the start, we worked harder to ensure our marriage plan would work. Today our commitment is stronger than ever.
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
~Ogden Nash (August 19, 1902 – May 19, 1971)
Thank you, Kevin and Joanna!