“Stop terrorizing the dry cleaning bag!”

“Could you perhaps eat the pill and not just the Pill Pocket, please?”

“No, you’ve already had your cookies this morning. No more.”

“Seriously, what did that dry cleaning bag do to you to deserve a beat down?”

“A tabby in the driveway is not, repeat NOT, a code red bark alarm situation!”

“THAT’S A BUTTON, DUMMY, NOT A COOKIE!”

“Do not lick this antibiotic cream off your puncture wound, please.”

“Those are my earrings, not your toys.”

— Things I said to my pets this morning before 8:30 a.m.

PetEx 2013 happens this Saturday and Sunday and will again feature a conglomeration of critters and people who love critters.

(This photo, by the way, is a rare moment when all my critters were peacefully co-existing in the same room. Of course, they were almost all asleep, which contributed to the peace, but I take what I can get.)

What will you find at PetEx 2013, you ask? Well, it will feature:

• Free demonstrations and educational workshops to help you and your pet
• Vendors to serve the needs of you and your pet
• Contests and prizes
• Pet-themed entertainment
• Ask-The-Expert seminars and guest speakers (click here for the schedule)
• Critter Cafe

Pets are welcome to bring their well-behaved pet parents as long as the pet parent stays on the proper end of his or her leash or chauffeurs the pet carrier in a safe manner.

For ticket information, click this link right here.

Photo by Rebecca Barnett | The Roanoke Times: Sabrina Garvin (left) of Roanoke County, president of the Southwest Virginia Wildlife Center, assesses the progress of a pileated woodpecker held by Hannah Millsaps, 20, of Roanoke County.

Stepping out of my role as pet reporter, I got to take a walk on the wild side of animal life when I visited with a couple of local wildlife rehabilitators.

Click here to read the story from today’s Extra section.

I learned a lot from Sabrina Garvin and DeeDee Hartson, and they both reinforced something I have always believed: When it comes to nature, the less we humans do the better.

Of course if baby wildlife is truly endangered and needs help, compassionate people need to intervene, but before stepping in, step back and really assess the situation. Make sure that help is really needed and by all means, call a professional.

Hannah Millsaps, who works with Sabrina Garvin at the Southwest Virginia Wildlife Center, said one of the best things that pet owners can do is to keep cats inside when its baby season in the great outdoors.

Personally, I am a huge advocate of keeping cats indoors year-round, but I think this is sage advice, especially if you know your kitty has a strong predator instinct. Besides, who really wants the “gifts” the cat is likely to bring?

The RVSPCA is trying to reach a big goal today and tomorrow: Find good homes for 50 percent of its adoptable pets for 50 percent off the normal adoption fee.

Is it Adoption Impossible? Or can this mission indeed be possible?

You can visit with kitties and dogs in search of loving families at PetSmart at Valley View this weekend from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday and from noon to 4 p.m. on Saturday.

To see the gallery of pets available for adoption, including Harris who is pictured here, click this link right here.

Here’s an excerpt from a news release from Mountain View Humane:

The Waldron-Ricci Spay Neuter Clinic in Christiansburg and The Sabrina & Lucky Garvin Clinic in Roanoke, have received a $5,000 grant from the Animal Farm Foundation, Inc to help 100 Pit Bull or Pit Bull mix owners spay and neuter their pets. A female Pit Bull can be spayed for $23 and males can be neutered for only $18.

This is a $50 savings per surgery off Mountain View Humane’s normal low prices.

Mountain View Humane asks bully breed owners to call (855) HIP-SNIP (855-447-7647) to schedule their dog to be spayed or neutered and for more information.

Reduced fee surgeries are by appointment only and space is limited. Owners must show proof of current rabies vaccination or their pet can be vaccinated at the time of surgery for an additional $10.

This is a WONDERFUL opportunity to get your bully breed baby fixed at a very reasonable price.

As the pet parent of a bully-breed-mixed boy, I highly encourage you to get your dog fixed. There are too many unwanted pups and not enough good homes, and let’s be honest, bullys can be hard to place. It’s unfair, I know, because my Stormy is a sweet, lovable boy. But the reputation — built by less-than-responsible dog owners, thugs and the horrors of dog fighting, which usually victimizes this breed — makes them often the last ones chosen at a shelter.

A spayed and/or neutered dog is a happier and healthier pet, I promise you that.

I got a news release from Angels of Assisi indicating it is looking for lovers — of wee little kittens.

It’s kitten season, and sadly there are more many babies that are orphans. Angels is recruiting fosters now to keep up with the demand.

These tiny bundles of purring joy need help to have a chance to become adoptable cats. The best part of fostering is that you can nurture, love and socialize these adorable kittens knowing that when your job is done, they will go on to be pets in loving homes.

The shelter will provide supplies, information and support to all members of its foster crew, the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee.

To become a Committee member, contact Lisa O’Neill at 400-2233 or loneill@angelsofassisi.org.

Until a couple of weeks ago, I had no idea there was such a thing as  a cat circus. Or a cat rock band.

And that this wonderful bit of magic tours the country and will be stopping here in Roanoke.

Here’s a link to my story about the upcoming show, including dates and ticket information, that ran in yesterday’s Inside Out section.

Let me know if you plan to attend any of the shows and if you do, please let me know what you think. Just from what I learned from Samantha Martin, the ringmaster and band leader, I think it will be a hoot.

Part of the proceeds from the shows will benefit Angels of Assisi, which will also have adoptable kitties on site if you are interested in adding a (or another) critter to your family,

Natura Pet Products has issued a voluntary recall of a variety of pet foods, sold nationwide under a varitey of different names, for potential Salmonella contamination.

Some of the brand names includes in this recall are Innova, Evo, California Natural and Healthwise.

According to the recall posted of the FDA website, no illness have been reported so far.

The list is far too long for me to post here, so follow this link to check if any of your pet’s food is on the list.

You can also follow this link to have your affected product replaced.

The Virginia Veterinary Medical Association announced that Courtney Wiegard, D.V.M., has received the 2013 Recent Graduate Leadership award in recognition of her contributions to the profession of veterinary medicine.

Wiegard was presented with this prestigious award at the 2013 Virginia Veterinary Conference on March 1 at The Hotel Roanoke & Conference Center.

Wiegard, who graduated from Virginia Tech’s vet school, joined  Vinton Veterinary Hospital in Vinton, Va. in June 2005 and was the driving force behing the Biggest Loser campaign at the clinic, which raised awareness about pet obesity. Wiegard alos helps raise money for the Good Samaritan Fund at Vinton Veterinary Hospital. Additionally, she is an instructor of two courses at Roanoke Memorial Hospital: one for expectant parents about integrating their newborns into homes with pets, and one teaching proper techniques for CPR for animals.

Congratulations to Dr. Wiegard.

This is my cat, Thai.

He is sitting rather innocently on my dresser. Move along, he says, nothing to see here.

See that carosel of costume jewelry necklaces behind him?

By the time I get home from work, I will be re-hanging all those necklaces on that carosel.

I am not sure, but I think he is trying to make a statement about my taste in jewelry.